"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Moran]

Thank you, [.....] HRHHermione, for keeping us updated!

Honestly, the level of delusion is astounding. I suppose the bodyguard didn't lodge an official complaint so in Harry and the Sussex fans' eyes he wasn't being abused at all? And how horrible of Harry to perceive him as a concerned parent and then exploit his fondness of him to abuse him.

Well, there's a light in the tunnel - no pun intended. The man isn't a crier, so Jenny Afia can't say he just couldn't meet Harry's high standards. And the recollection comes from Harry's own mouth - although I imagine their journalist and other friends will now resort to the recollection may vary line, although they won't frame it as such.

Just no. Simply because someone is well-intentioned, it doesn't give Harry the right to use and abuse them and hide behind the well, they didn't say anything, they laughed, they were like concerned parents to me so they didn't mind at all justification.

If that's the man he has become, the only people who could possibly tolerate him would be Charles and Diana. Wait, with his attack on Camilla, I'm not sure Charles is in camp My Precious Baby anymore.

 

[kalnel]

IG stories are up for 24 hours. If you click on her profile pic, that will pull up her IG stories from the past day. The one about the book is still available - I just looked at it - and should be up another 18 hours or so since she posted it approximately 6 hours ago.

Got it. I don't use IG, so I didn't know about that feature. I can see it now, too.

 

[Ista]

A series of posts have been deleted. It is against forum rules to claim inside knowledge without citing verifiable sources, and any further posts along those lines will also be removed.

 

[Erin9]

I’m about 1/3 of the way through the book and taking notes. I did want to pause to mention an incident early in part 2, on the trip where Harry drives through the tunnel and finally believes that Diana’s death was real after years of believing she’d faked her own death and disappeared. At this point in time, he is 23 years old. He mentions that he drinks heavily that night and then gets thrown out of a pub. His police protection officer, referred to as Billy the Rock, escorts him back to his hotel and then Harry tried to start a fight with the man. He says “I growled at him, swung on him, slapped his head. He barely reacted. He just frowned like an ultra-patient parent. I slapped him again. I loved him but I was determined to hurt him. He’d seen me like this before. Once, maybe twice. I heard him say to another bodyguard: he’s a handful tonight. Oh you want to see a handful? Here you go, here’s a handful.” He then recounts how he snuck out of the hotel without protection.

He was an adult at the time and he’s now 38 and writing this and it does not seem to have occurred to him then or now that Billy The Rock was not his parent, he was a paid employee being abused on the job. There’s no apology, no sense that Harry believes he was wrong to behave this way.

That strikes me as particularly bad and I’m surprised the press hasn’t picked up the story yet, given that Harry was later accused of bullying and being abusive to employees. Here’s an example of him physically striking one.

Thanks for the update.

Disgusting behavior. A decent person would have some remorse. And apologize.

I think Harry (and Meghan) would try the patience of a saint.

I’m surprised the press hasn’t picked this up yet either.

Harry seems utterly clueless- even in hindsight- when his behavior is grossly out of line. (This and the teacher story as examples.)

And this is just what was included in the book. Makes me wonder what tales his friends and family could tell.

 

[Mbruno]

I’m about 1/3 of the way through the book and taking notes. I did want to pause to mention an incident early in part 2, on the trip where Harry drives through the tunnel and finally believes that Diana’s death was real after years of believing she’d faked her own death and disappeared. At this point in time, he is 23 years old. He mentions that he drinks heavily that night and then gets thrown out of a pub. His police protection officer, referred to as Billy the Rock, escorts him back to his hotel and then Harry tried to start a fight with the man. He says “I growled at him, swung on him, slapped his head. He barely reacted. He just frowned like an ultra-patient parent. I slapped him again. I loved him but I was determined to hurt him. He’d seen me like this before. Once, maybe twice. I heard him say to another bodyguard: he’s a handful tonight. Oh you want to see a handful? Here you go, here’s a handful.” He then recounts how he snuck out of the hotel without protection.

He was an adult at the time and he’s now 38 and writing this and it does not seem to have occurred to him then or now that Billy The Rock was not his parent, he was a paid employee being abused on the job. There’s no apology, no sense that Harry believes he was wrong to behave this way.

That strikes me as particularly bad and I’m surprised the press hasn’t picked up the story yet, given that Harry was later accused of bullying and being abusive to employees. Here’s an example of him physically striking one.

Maybe Harry dismisses certain accusations of bullying and abuse to staff as "lies" simply because he himself does not fully understand what qualifies as abuse or bullying.

At this point, I am convinced that, for some staff members, the perception of abuse, bullying, or only plain rudeness was real, even if Harry and Meghan see it differently from their point of view.

 

[Lilyflo]

I’m about 1/3 of the way through the book and taking notes. I did want to pause to mention an incident early in part 2, on the trip where Harry drives through the tunnel and finally believes that Diana’s death was real after years of believing she’d faked her own death and disappeared. At this point in time, he is 23 years old. He mentions that he drinks heavily that night and then gets thrown out of a pub. His police protection officer, referred to as Billy the Rock, escorts him back to his hotel and then Harry tried to start a fight with the man. He says “I growled at him, swung on him, slapped his head. He barely reacted. He just frowned like an ultra-patient parent. I slapped him again. I loved him but I was determined to hurt him. He’d seen me like this before. Once, maybe twice. I heard him say to another bodyguard: he’s a handful tonight. Oh you want to see a handful? Here you go, here’s a handful.” He then recounts how he snuck out of the hotel without protection.

He was an adult at the time and he’s now 38 and writing this and it does not seem to have occurred to him then or now that Billy The Rock was not his parent, he was a paid employee being abused on the job. There’s no apology, no sense that Harry believes he was wrong to behave this way.

That strikes me as particularly bad and I’m surprised the press hasn’t picked up the story yet, given that Harry was later accused of bullying and being abusive to employees. Here’s an example of him physically striking one.

I agree. As a teenager and at 23, Harry was a mess and he's still a mess at 38 (just a slightly different type). If he hadn't been so coddled and excused by almost all the adults around him, he'd have been in juvenile detention, probably followed by unemployment and prison. He has no idea how fortunate he has been, despite losing his mother at 12. His lack of genuine self-reflection as an adult is so apparent in this book and much of 'his story' exposes his character in an extremely unflattering manner, which I doubt was his intention.

 

[HRHHermione]

Maybe Harry dismisses certain accusations of bullying and abuse to staff as "lies" simply because he himself does not fully understand what qualifies as abuse or bullying.

At this point, I am convinced that, for some staff members, the perception of abuse, bullying, or only plain rudeness was real, even if Harry and Meghan see it differently from their point of view.

This is what I think too. Even at this point in the book, it’s very clear that the way Harry sees things is not how most people would see things and he doesn’t seem to really understand that people who worked for his family did so because they need jobs. He seems to view them as either annoyances or as an extended part of his family (and therefore people it is ok to not always be your best self with)

 

[moby]

I kinda miss the time when the most explosive stories about the duo came from Tom Bower and Valentine Low. Come to think of it, maybe Harry wanted to upstage Tom Bower’s book, that’s why he went way overboard on the tell-all. :-D

 

[Moran]

At this point, I wonder what was Scobie thinking. What kind of context can excuse Harry's behavior towards the matron and bodyguard? Because in the beginning, it was - people don't have the context. Now, we have things in context but they don't look flattering for Harry of the past or present, so I suppose we'll need more of a context that will somehow magically make us understand how right and lovable Harry is?

Honestly, by these excerpts he comes across as worse than Andrew in his interview because Andrew was being interviewed in real time by someone who wasn't ready to go soft on him. Harry had all the freedom (he did find it, Scobie said so in the book they didn't collaborate for) and space to make himself look improved, realizing the error of his ways - but he hasn't realized it. That's what he came up with without being forced to speak in real time?

This far, it seems that the man he has become differs from the prince he was born as only in one respect: he was finally told No, a totally unfamiliar word, so he threw his toys out of the pram, packed all his self-indulgence, delusions and self-importance, moved overseas and started wailing.

 

[FigTree]

This is what I think too. Even at this point in the book, it’s very clear that the way Harry sees things is not how most people would see things and he doesn’t seem to really understand that people who worked for his family did so because they need jobs. He seems to view them as either annoyances or as an extended part of his family (and therefore people it is ok to not always be your best self with)

He seems to think everyone is there for him. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t see problems with the way people were treated.

 

[Erin9]

The Mirror has a list of stories that require some additional fact checking including: The timing of when he was told QEII had passed away. Where was Harry when he learned the QEQM passed away? He said Eton but he was skiing with his father and brother. The Xbox he reports that he received four years before they were on the market.



https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/royals/six-prince-harry-book-claims-28907936

Was it not possible to at least try and do some fact checking?

I just saw a screen shot where he is talking about 2002- and says his family was done having children. He specifically references Edward and Sophie. Louise and James hadn’t even been born yet.

 

[HRHHermione]

Was it not possible to at least try and do some fact checking?

I just saw a screen shot where he is talking about 2002- and says his family was done having children. He specifically references Edward and Sophie. Louise and James hadn’t even been born yet.

You know, I saw that part and highlighted that section but I hadn’t done the math yet and you are completely correct. The line is saying the family had stopped growing but would soon be shrinking because Princess Margaret and Gan-Gan were unwell. I hadn’t registered that this was only three years after Edward and Sophie even married and they hadn’t had children. They are specifically mentioned too as people not growing their family.

 

[Muhler]

Upon reflection one of the things I find most telling about Harry's character, now but also pre-Meghan - so she can't be blame for this - is the story about the matron.

Not only did Harry tell that he and his friends bullied a matron, he also made it very easy to ID her. - It was not just "an employee".
He also described her in the most unflattering way possible, thereby bullying her once again - if she is alive - now many years later!
He did not have to describe why they bullied her.

And correct me if I'm wrong: Did Harry express any kind of remorse, sympathy, shame? Did he elaborate on how disgusted he feels now about his behavior?
Harry has the means and the contacts to track down this woman and apologize to her. But he hasn't, otherwise he would have mentioned it.
To me it seemed like he thought that was a funny episode to talk about and harmless. After all he wasn't hurt...
One should imagine that someone so thin-skinned and sensitive as Harry, would be able to understand how his behavior hurt this woman.
But he clearly doesn't.
It's one thing what you do when you are young or a child, especially if you hurt inside. But Harry is now a mature man of, what is it, 38.

There is no empathy in Harry. Not for anyone but himself and his demi-God, Meghan, and the children who are an extension of himself.

He does not even seem to be able to understand that other people can be hurt, just as he can. That is: He does not seem to comprehend that if he does something he has been taught is socially unacceptable, then people will get hurt, even though he is not able to empathize with them.
He is not even pretending to mimic empathy anymore.
I don't know whether he was emotionally arrested when Diana died or whether the seed has always been there inside him.

-----------

I don't like Harry.

It's not a question of me not liking the man he has become, which is fully fledged male Karen.
It's me realizing that he has always been a nasty piece of work, at least since adolescence. He has just managed to hide that persona behind a laddish behavior. And his friends, family and court have been doing a brilliant work covering up for him.

But now that the facade is down, it's pretty ugly.

I always believe that even pretty awful people have some redeeming sides, like being kind to animals, but right now I don't trust that whatever positive trait we may see of Harry, isn't just a part of his facade.
- I do wonder if his family are thinking like me right now?

 

[_Heather_]

Does anyone see Harry as perhaps being ill?

Absolutely. And I'm reading lots and lots of reports from people far more knowledgeable that I am about these things that prolonged and consistent drug abuse can lead to much of what is being seen here.

I would also like to know what the two consider "too lavish" if they ended up buying a 16-bedroom mansion...

Same. What on earth could possibly have been offered to these two that would have caused them to claim it was too lavish or grand? BP, the whole of Windsor Castle?

A think Meghan loves "messaging" too. The Navy Blue Dress that she wore to Eugenie's Wedding was deliberate. It was cut - designed to make her appear her pregnancy was further along. I noticed that the minute I saw her appear that day. Meghan's pregnant.

Stealing thunder from the Bride. Purposely.

Absolutely. I knew the moment I saw her at that wedding that she was pregnant and it was only a matter of time before the announcement was officially made. If I remember correctly there were even commentators at the time speculating on it. That dress/coat did exactly what it was designed to do.

You know, this story about Pat the Matron...how incredibly cruel. And for these IG veterans that Harry has spent so many years and so much time working with...how could they possibly read this without wondering if Harry is mocking them behind their backs for their disabilities? I really, really think that IG will have to distance itself from Harry and soon after this.

 

[Lee-Z]

Really, i feel sorry for everyone involved. All the people mentioned in the book and interviews, very likely without them knowing up front they would be.

But i also feel sorry for H&M because i don't think their perfect bubble can last forever, because in life there's always something, somewhere, sometime, that doesn't go the way you want it too.
And i hope that when that happens H&M will be able to deal with it, because the therapy to work through everything that happened until now seems far from over.

They don't seem like content, compassionate people to me.

 

[Lilyflo]

I think there's a side-swipe at Princess Anne in the paragraphs about the Court Circular, which Harry describes as a joke because it doesn't accurately reflect the number of engagements. He says there are some people who are obsessed with it, feverishly striving to have the highest number of engagements recorded each year. He says they succeeded by including minor events that Harry and William wouldn't dream of counting as an engagement.

"It was all self-reported, all subjective. Nine private visits with veterans, helping with their mental health? Zero points. Flying via helicopter to cut a ribbon at a horse farm? Winner!"

This sounds like he's having a pop at Princess Anne to me - what do others think?

Edited to add that he also says the main reason the CC was a joke was because they could only do the engagements that their resources and budget from Pa would support so the CC was rigged.

 

[EllieCat]

I must admit I'm getting numb. Too much (negative) information to process and next to no positive inputs.

I'll ask those who read the book and watched the interviews: Did Harry at any point say something positive?
Something like: I have a lovely wife and two wonderful children all of us in good health and we live in a nice place where we feel at home.
Or saying something about happy memories with his brother and father. Surely there must have been some?

I so agree with this, and all the rest of Muhler's post.

From the small snippets I've seen of Harry's interviews, he comes across to me as just thoroughly unlikeable. He looks as though he hates to be there. He hates everything and everyone (except of course the wife and children and possibly the dogs).

I don't for one minute believe that Harry is all bad and that the RF are all saints, even the most perfect of us will have their bad days, but they should have the right to expect that private business should be kept within the family. Poor KCIII must be devastated. I'm sure PW is furious. Kate upset for everyone. And one of the saddest things is that this book was intended to come out while The Queen was still alive; she would have been broken-hearted IMO.

 

[Somebody]

I think there's a side-swipe at Princess Anne in the paragraphs about the Court Circular, which Harry describes as a joke because it doesn't accurately reflect the number of engagements. He says there are some people who are obsessed with it, feverishly striving to have the highest number of engagements recorded each year. He says they succeeded by including minor events that Harry and William wouldn't dream of counting as an engagement.

"It was all self-reported, all subjective. Nine private visits with veterans, helping with their mental health? Zero points. Flying via helicopter to cut a ribbon at a horse farm? Winner!"

This sounds like he's having a pop at Princess Anne to me - what do others think?

Edited to add that he also says the main reason the CC was a joke was because they could only do the engagements that their resources and budget from Pa would support so the CC was rigged.

Sounds like he is the one having issues with the CC, not anyone else.

Comparing 'private visits' (of course they are not in the CC, they are PRIVATE) with official engagements (the type that do get published in the CC). There is no shame in going about things differently (I personally think it is more meaningful to concentrate on slightly less issues and do them well than take on a really wide range of engagements - but that's just a difference in approach that changes over generations) but to now complain that theirs are in the CC and yours were not... That suggests that it actually was quite important to Harry himself at least. I guess it was part of his competition(s): who is the most popular? Who does the most engagement? Who has the most people turn up for their events? Who is on the front page? Etc.

 

[EllieCat]

You know, this story about Pat the Matron...how incredibly cruel. And for these IG veterans that Harry has spent so many years and so much time working with...how could they possibly read this without wondering if Harry is mocking them behind their backs for their disabilities? I really, really think that IG will have to distance itself from Harry and soon after this.

I agree totally, Heather.

And as for the Princess Anne and the CC, I don't think for one second that PA is the person who compiles that list! I can't see her caring one jot who is at the top; she just quietly gets on and does the job, brilliantly.

 

[ruaudladoube]

I've long thought Harry was very much behind the break of the Sussex family from the BRF more so than Meghan.
What is becoming clear with the excerpts is that Harry is so much worse than I thought, as a person. I thought perhaps he was even gaslighting Meghan. Now I think he may be too stupid to manipulate her effectively, and that she bears more blame than I'd previously believed.

The biggest takeaway for me so far, is that Harry is like a spoiled toddler who has never been disciplined. I would venture that there's a good chance he's a narcissist (clinically speaking). He certainly lacks empathy for others and is primarily concerned about how things affect him personally.

I have to wonder how this book will be received by the pro-H&M American audience who jumped on their bandwagon after they painted the BRF as a bunch of racists in the Oprah interview. Between their recanting that claim and the bullying and abuse Harry inflicts on subordinates unapologetically, the portrait is looking more and more like Dorian Gray's.

 

[Lilyflo]

Sounds like he is the one having issues with the CC, not anyone else.

Comparing 'private visits' (of course they are not in the CC, they are PRIVATE) with official engagements (the type that do get published in the CC). There is no shame in going about things differently (I personally think it is more meaningful to concentrate on slightly less issues and do them well than take on a really wide range of engagements - but that's just a difference in approach that changes over generations) but to now complain that theirs are in the CC and yours were not... That suggests that it actually was quite important to Harry himself at least. I guess it was part of his competition(s): who is the most popular? Who does the most engagement? Who has the most people turn up for their events? Who is on the front page? Etc.

He says the CC didn't create the competition than ran through his family but it amplified and weaponised them. His main complaint is that press used the CC totals to make comparisons:
"Ah, this one's busier than that one.
Ah, this one's a lazy sh*t"

He says it felt grossly unfair to be publicly flogged for "how much Pa permitted us to do."

 

[_Heather_]

Well it appears that the tailor, Ajay, has spoken out. He notes that he and his team worked three all-nighters to fix the dresses, that all six were ill-fitting, and that he and his team did so in order to make Britain look good on the world stage that day. He also says that there was a huge amount of work necessary to fix the dresses and even says that he has no idea what measurements Givenchy was working with but that it was clear that all six dresses needed a massive amount of work.

 

[chelly]

How is it Prince (at the time) Charles fault for the amount or kind of stuff they did? If i understand some of the patronages they tend to be give to the royals that have the most interest or ties into the Royal's interest. When Harry was still working for the family it would have been the Queen who gave them out.

 

[Curbside]

This is what I think too. Even at this point in the book, it’s very clear that the way Harry sees things is not how most people would see things and he doesn’t seem to really understand that people who worked for his family did so because they need jobs. He seems to view them as either annoyances or as an extended part of his family (and therefore people it is ok to not always be your best self with)

I'm getting that there were turf wars amongst the different teams of courtiers.

 

[HRHHermione]

I'm getting that there were turf wars amongst the different teams of courtiers.

I’m not sure how that was your take away from stories about Harry starting a physical fight with his own police protection officer, but I understand opinions are variable.

If you’re referring to later parts of the book, I won’t get there until later this evening. I’m still at Apache flight training.

 

[Moran]

He says it felt grossly unfair to be publicly flogged for "how much Pa permitted us to do."

Us? It's us now, like, William and I, instead of Meg and I?

He sure doesn't dare attack the popular Princess Anne on his own, so he's bravely hiding behind William. Without bothering to ask if William wants to be lumped in with him.

Cowardly.

And anyway, wasn't Harry the one who sighed and cried that he was overworked and his family had to basically browbeat him into going to Nepal? But at the same time, Charles didn't allow him to work enough?

Recollections may vary will be the phrase of the decade!

 

[_Heather_]

Oh goodness. I've just read an excerpt in which Harry discusses using their staff to address the "constant stream of errors" and that they were only able to address 10% of what was out there. He goes on to state "Nerves were shattering, people were sniping. In such a climate there was no such thing as constructive criticism. All feedback was seen as an affront, an insult. More than once a staff member slumped across their desk and wept." He even goes on to refer to the staffers as "villians" and says that William placed them in their office. I don't know about the rest of you but this certainly doesn't sound like a supportive and kind workplace. In fact, it reads very much like an admission that there was a very toxic and bullying atmosphere around the office.

 

[Curryong]

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-...arry-spare-autobiography-memoir-b2259565.html

The Duke of Sussex’s autobiography is the fastest-selling non-fiction book ever, recording figures of 400,000 copies so far across hardback, ebook and audio formats on its first day of publication, its publishers have said.

Prince Harry’s memoir Spare accidentally went on sale in Spain five days prior to its official release, while pages of the tell-all book were leaked to various media outlets.

The ghost-written autobiography was released officially on Tuesday and has reportedly flown off bookstore shelves.

 

[Curbside]

I’m not sure how that was your take away from stories about Harry starting a physical fight with his own police protection officer, but I understand opinions are variable.

If you’re referring to later parts of the book, I won’t get there until later this evening. I’m still at Apache flight training.

Sorry, I thought this comment referred to courtiers/comms teams.

 

[Curbside]

Us? It's us now, like, William and I, instead of Meg and I?

He sure doesn't dare attack the popular Princess Anne on his own, so he's bravely hiding behind William. Without bothering to ask if William wants to be lumped in with him.

Cowardly.

And anyway, wasn't Harry the one who sighed and cried that he was overworked and his family had to basically browbeat him into going to Nepal? But at the same time, Charles didn't allow him to work enough?

Recollections may vary will be the phrase of the decade!

I got that William and Harry's dad set work targets for everyone he held the purse strings for, so the brothers and their wives. They didn't have any control over how much they worked.