"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Mbruno]

I also think it’s fascinating that Harry could call his own therapist, but he couldn’t get help for his suicidal wife. That makes sense.

Good point.

 

[Curbside]

My first reaction on reading that was how frustrating it must have been to see Harry respond that his family was only repeating a press narrative. They'd met Meghan. They'd shared a staff. They had no need to go by press reports.

If one person tells you your wife is a problem, they might be the problem. If most of the people who know you and who work with you are telling you your wife is a problem, you maybe need to think about your wife.

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t stand for my sibling maligning my spouse.

I gotta say, nothing about this shocks me.

 

[HRHHermione]

And as for Meghan, Harry loves her deeply and has been more than loyal to her. If people around him expected that he was going to get a divorce because of their comments then they would be and were, mightily mistaken.

I think there's a lot of middle ground there. Harry didn't have to divorce her, but he could have spoken with her.

In my own personal life, I have an aunt who is very difficult and married to an extremely laid back and easy going man. He loves her and they've been married nearly 50 years, but he knows she's got a temper and can be difficult with service staff and others. He always tips them extra and tells them to pay her no mind. You can love someone while seeing both the good and the bad.

 

[Curbside]

Good point.

I could totally see being able to access your self-soothing mechanisms and feeling helpless when your spouse tells you they feel suicidal.

Holy heck. If that excerpt is accurate then there is zero chance of Harry ever returning to work for the RF.

I can’t imagine why he would want to.

My first reaction on reading that was how frustrating it must have been to see Harry respond that his family was only repeating a press narrative. They'd met Meghan. They'd shared a staff. They had no need to go by press reports.

If one person tells you your wife is a problem, they might be the problem. If most of the people who know you and who work with you are telling you your wife is a problem, you maybe need to think about your wife.

It is probably best not to make assumptions. All we know, if this reporting turns out to be accurate, is that Harry’s sibling was trashing Harry’s wife.

 

[FigTree]

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t stand for my sibling maligning my spouse.

I gotta say, nothing about this shocks me.

Inference is it’s all linked to the employee complaints stuff. Difficult one sure but wasn’t their a story of William ringing Harry, Harry hanging up…this must be the follow through.

I think there's a lot of middle ground there. Harry didn't have to divorce her, but he could have spoken with her.

In my own personal life, I have an aunt who is very difficult and married to an extremely laid back and easy going man. He loves her and they've been married nearly 50 years, but he knows she's got a temper and can be difficult with service staff and others. He always tips them extra and tells them to pay her no mind. You can love someone while seeing both the good and the bad.

One would say that love is seeing the bad and loving on. Isn’t that the point…to be accepted and trusted and respected for who you actually are. Not a denial of it.

 

[HRHHermione]

It is probably best not to make assumptions. All we know, if this reporting turns out to be accurate, is that Harry’s sibling was trashing Harry’s wife.

Having followed this story closely from the beginning, I think that the bullying allegations are well-established and have been credibly reported from multiple sources, none of which have been sued under Britain's extremely generous libel laws. There are factual reasons to treat allegations of Meghan's bullying of staff as credible.

 

[Curbside]

Yeah if that’s it, well then. Could be Guardian are holding back articles ready to go on publication day before the rest have had a chance to read it.

Interesting that this showed up in a very non monarchist, republican newspaper. With no royal,reporters and not part old the rota and one that stays out of,the Harry and Meghan world. Interesting.

I used to work in PR and corporate communications. This may have been a targeting leak.

True.

My first reaction is I just don’t buy what Harry’s selling. I don’t buy this exact version of events anyway. Not without proof. He and Meghan are always the victims. And somehow Harry is pretty much a pacifist in any version of events. It’s always what someone has done to them.

I do think it’s bizarre that he claims to have thought William was just repeating negative press. William knows Meghan. Anything he thought about Meghan would be based on his personal experience and people he trusted.

I also think it’s fascinating that Harry could call his own therapist, but he couldn’t get help for his suicidal wife. That makes sense.

My impression is that the brothers were less close after Meghan came on the scene. We actually don’t know how well William even knew Meghan.

 

[FigTree]

Having followed this story closely from the beginning, I think that the bullying allegations are well-established and have been credibly reported from multiple sources, none of which have been sued under Britain's extremely generous libel laws. There are factual reasons to treat allegations of Meghan's bullying of staff as credible.

Absolutely, in all the dross I believe this 100%.

I used to work in PR and corporate communications. This may have been a targeting leak.

Course it was. Don’t think it’s worked. The Guardian would not go for this story.

 

[HRHHermione]

My impression is that the brothers were less close after Meghan came on the scene. We actually don’t know how well William even knew Meghan.

Factually, we know that they shared an office and a staff from the time of Meghan's engagement until the announced household split. They were also neighbors at Kensington Palace from the time Meghan moved to the United Kingdom until the Sussexes moved to Windsor. We also know factually that Meghan stayed in the Wales' home in Norfolk over Christmas. We can reasonably infer from these facts that the Wales couple knew the Duchess of Sussex well enough to form personal opinions.

 

[TLLK]

Having followed this story closely from the beginning, I think that the bullying allegations are well-established and have been credibly reported from multiple sources, none of which have been sued under Britain's extremely generous libel laws. There are factual reasons to treat allegations of Meghan's bullying of staff as credible.

Agreed. The Palace HR had to take action and thus we have the investigation by an independent third party.

 

[Curryong]

Well, BP, under the orders of the late Queen herself, refused to publish any of the results of the Inquiry which included any bullying allegations against anybody, the Sussexes, or other royals, any courtiers, any senior staff etc. so nobody is likely to know anything about such allegations, let alone sue over them.

 

[Erin9]

I think there's a lot of middle ground there. Harry didn't have to divorce her, but he could have spoken with her.

In my own personal life, I have an aunt who is very difficult and married to an extremely laid back and easy going man. He loves her and they've been married nearly 50 years, but he knows she's got a temper and can be difficult with service staff and others. He always tips them extra and tells them to pay her no mind. You can love someone while seeing both the good and the bad.

Agreed. You can love someone, while also recognizing their flaws.

But- I think Harry has Meghan on a VERY high pedestal.

 

[Curbside]

Having followed this story closely from the beginning, I think that the bullying allegations are well-established and have been credibly reported from multiple sources, none of which have been sued under Britain's extremely generous libel laws. There are factual reasons to treat allegations of Meghan's bullying of staff as credible.

I’m still not convinced that this isn’t a cultural difference, though. I haven’t read the Valentine Low book yet, but I don’t think I’ve seen other allegations about bullying where the allegations are tied to a specific person. Meghan has had people working for her for a number of years and I don’t recall reading about any of them stating she tended to bully people.

 

[TLLK]

One thing to keep in mind... This is Harry's recollection of the confrontation. It is an entirely one-sided account of an incident that had no other witnesses. I suspect we're going to get a strongly worded reiteration of "recollections may vary" from BP/KP. They aren't really going to have any choice but to respond to the allegation that William physically attacked his own brother.

I expect that there have been pre- approved statements at the ready for months now after the 2021 Oprah interview.

 

[Erin9]

Having followed this story closely from the beginning, I think that the bullying allegations are well-established and have been credibly reported from multiple sources, none of which have been sued under Britain's extremely generous libel laws. There are factual reasons to treat allegations of Meghan's bullying of staff as credible.

Exactly. And that wouldn’t be William “trashing” Harry’s wife.

He’d be saying: there’s a problem with her behavior which is affecting their employees. As you said- the Sussexes haven’t sued. I think that speaks for itself. Of all things- the bullying claims are the most damaging, but they haven’t sued over them.

 

[Curbside]

Factually, we know that they shared an office and a staff from the time of Meghan's engagement until the announced household split. They were also neighbors at Kensington Palace from the time Meghan moved to the United Kingdom until the Sussexes moved to Windsor. We also know factually that Meghan stayed in the Wales' home in Norfolk over Christmas. We can reasonably infer from these facts that the Wales couple knew the Duchess of Sussex well enough to form personal opinions.

They shared a staff at one point, but that was mostly when Harry was the third wheel. When a new person enters the scene, it upsets the dynamic. Meghan actually mentioned this in the docuseries.

Well, BP, under the orders of the late Queen herself, refused to publish any of the results of the Inquiry which included any bullying allegations against anybody, the Sussexes, or other royals, any courtiers, any senior staff etc. so nobody is likely to know anything about such allegations, let alone sue over them.

Good point.

Agreed. You can love someone, while also recognizing their flaws.

But- I think Harry has Meghan on a VERY high pedestal.

I think they have each other on a pedestal.

 

[RJC]

Has there even been anything previous about William calling Harry 'Harold'. Not his real name Henry? Odd that he would call him Willy in a heated argument imo.

 

[Curbside]

Am I the only one surprised to hear these guys call each other “Willy” and “Harold?”

 

[soapstar]

Having followed this story closely from the beginning, I think that the bullying allegations are well-established and have been credibly reported from multiple sources, none of which have been sued under Britain's extremely generous libel laws. There are factual reasons to treat allegations of Meghan's bullying of staff as credible.

Yep. The Sussexes have yet to sue Low, or The Times over the story. Nor have any of their former staff come to their defense. The Sussexes didn’t even really address it in the docuseries. That speaks volumes to me.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

IIRC Robert Lacey already wrote about a 'fierce and bitter' confrontation between the brothers about the bullying claims. Perhaps this may be the version of the Duke of Sussex of that alleged confrontation.

I'm sure that is right. We know that William has a temper, but I've never heard that anyone has accused him of violence. I can see William shouting but the disagreement about Meghan treatment of staff doesn't appear to be the type of thing that would provoke William to violence. After all, William could just tell his grandmother and have staff removed.

It seems inconsistent with prior interviews in which Harry has indicated that he and William are on "different paths" and the relationship is "space." He also stated that "time heals all wounds, hopefully." None of that sounds like William assaulted him. In fact, he seemed angrier at Charles.

In public, Harry was upset when William ignored him at the Commonwealth service and there is the video of William shaking Harry off William's arm. That behavior doesn't seem consistent with being a victim of a violent assault to me.

It's also seems strange that Meghan didn't hint at this earlier. She accused the family of racism - much to Harry's apparent surprise. There have been a lot of leaks from the Susssexes (Finding Freedom).

All this indicates that either it didn't happen, or there is more to the story - like Harry attacked first. I am interested in how William reacts.

 

[HRHHermione]

I’m still not convinced that this isn’t a cultural difference, though. I haven’t read the Valentine Low book yet, but I don’t think I’ve seen other allegations about bullying where the allegations are tied to a specific person. Meghan has had people working for her for a number of years and I don’t recall reading about any of them stating she tended to bully people.

I would recommend reading both Valentine Low for a serious corporate biography of how the palace functions as an operation. Then I would read Tom Bowers for a more traditional tabloid-y royal book that must contain enough fact that it passed fact check and hasn’t inspired any legal proceedings. Both are helpful to evaluating this story and will be useful as you read Spare.

I will read it, as I have also read all interviews given by either the Duke or the Duchess of Sussex, and will review it.

There’s a lot of material available. It helps to reference as many sources as possible when forming an opinion.

 

[Erin9]

I used to work in PR and corporate communications. This may have been a targeting leak.







My impression is that the brothers were less close after Meghan came on the scene. We actually don’t know how well William even knew Meghan.

They shared staff at one point. I think it’s reasonable to believe that William spent enough time with Meghan to have an informed opinion about her. And he certainly would have heard other people’s personal opinions about her too.

 

[Erin9]

"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

Am I the only one surprised to hear these guys call each other “Willy” and “Harold?”

That was a surprise. Especially during an argument.

 

[duchessrachel]

Exactly. Harry seems to blame everything on the media and refuses to accept that the problem could be him, or his wife. There is a reason that the Sussexes haven’t sued over the bullying allegations. It’s also striking how none of their former staff have come out to defend them, or refute the allegations.

Yes, I find it very telling that they have not sued Tom Bower for his book, Revenge, or Valentine Low for his book, Courtiers, too. The Sussexes love to sue but they know if they sue these two authors, the truth that comes out probably won't be "their truth".

We'll see on that. The strategy of silence has been very well-received and positive so far. It may continue.

I would love to see the Palace remain totally silent. Harry wants a public fight. I would not give it to him.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

Well, BP, under the orders of the late Queen herself, refused to publish any of the results of the Inquiry which included any bullying allegations against anybody, the Sussexes, or other royals, any courtiers, any senior staff etc. so nobody is likely to know anything about such allegations, let alone sue over them.

The report wasn't supposed to conclude whether the bullying happened or not. It probably contains the allegations but doesn't investigate whether any of it was true. It was supposed to evaluate how the royal family handles complaints about treatment from family members and make recommendations. I tend to think the allegations of bullying were true because Valentine Low said he witnessed it and Harry and Meghan have never sued him.

 

[Curbside]

I'm sure that is right. We know that William has a temper, but I've never heard that anyone has accused him of violence. I can see William shouting but the disagreement about Meghan treatment of staff doesn't appear to be the type of thing that would provoke William to violence. After all, William could just tell his grandmother and have staff removed.

It seems inconsistent with prior interviews in which Harry has indicated that he and William are on "different paths" and the relationship is "space." He also stated that "time heals all wounds, hopefully." None of that sounds like William assaulted him. In fact, he seemed angrier at Charles.

In public, Harry was upset when William ignored him at the Commonwealth service and there is the video of William shaking Harry off William's arm. That behavior doesn't seem consistent with being a victim of a violent assault to me.

It's also seems strange that Meghan didn't hint at this earlier. She accused the family of racism - much to Harry's apparent surprise. There have been a lot of leaks from the Susssexes (Finding Freedom).

All this indicates that either it didn't happen, or there is more to the story - like Harry attacked first. I am interested in how William reacts.

She wasn’t there for the conversation about Archie’s skin tone. She heard it second-hand from Harry, so she didn’t exactly accuse anyone of racism.

 

[FigTree]

She wasn’t there for the conversation about Archie’s skin tone. She heard it second-hand from Harry, so she didn’t exactly accuse anyone of racism.

Actually she did. That is the definition of institutionalised racism. To treat people discriminatorily because of race. Which was her point. Archie wasn’t a Prince because of skin colour.

 

[Saragli]

I have no doubt that a physical altercation occurred between the brothers. Sibling relationships, no matter how old they may be, tend to be very complicated. However, this is once again just Harry's version and continues to fit into his persistent narrative of always being the victim. This book is going to be so much worse than the Netflix series it seems. What brakes my heart is the quote from the King, standing between the warring brothers at the DoE's funeral, pleading them to not make his final years a misery.

 

[HenRach Dominion]

So does this make Prince William HRH The Prince of Whales now?

On a serious note, it doesn't matter whether all of your family, friends, and strangers object to your choice of partner or partners for legitimate reasons. You're the one who decides what's best for yourself and your relationships. HRH The Duke of Sussex feels as though HRH The Duchess of Sussex is the right person for him, and that is that.

HRH The Prince of Wales's alleged anger issues clear up one thing I've been wondering. In the years after the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, HRH The Duke of Sussex has been very open about his anger and grief over his mother's death. HRH The Prince of Wales, however, has been the epitome of poise throughout the past quarter of a century, which I attributed to his personality, position within the British Royal Family, and generally privacy about his personal feelings. Private anger issues, however, would be a type of coping mechanism, especially if you're in a position where stoicism is demanded at most times.

 

[Curryong]

Yes, I find it very telling that they have not sued Tom Bower for his book, Revenge, or Valentine Low for his book, Courtiers, too. The Sussexes love to sue but they know if they sue these two authors, the truth that comes out may won't be "their truth".

The Sussexes don’t ‘love to sue’. They have sued a couple of newspapers/ tabloids, and Meghan won. As far as I know they have never sued about any books published about them. Nobody on this earth would sue absolutely every author who wrote something about them or their private lives. Life is too short.