"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[chelly]

The bit about Princess Margaret giving him a pen with a fish on it one Christmas and him thinking it was a cheap and stupid gift really grated on me. She was a great aunt, and he was in school at the time. He had everything he could need in terms of clothes and games and toys plus his parents and grandparents were getting him things of that nature. She probably thought “oh this is fun and silly and he can use it at school” and he thought she was being cheap and mean and he’s still making fun of it even though he’s nearly 40.

I thought it was a weird anecdote at first but it gets really weird because the phrase “oh, a Biro. Wow.” gets repeated throughout the book.

Didn't he , William and Charles go fishing a lot? I get the impression this was one of those novelty pens. Like you said she probably thought " oh this is fun and silly and it has a fish he does likes fishing".

honestly if one of my relatives gave me a cute pen of something I enjoyed (disney, doctor who etc) I would appreciate it, I probably wouldn't use it , it would go with my collection.

I get the feeling from what I have read in here of the stuff everyone has mentioned from the books.

Is that he took random and dumb stuff and is trying to paint a "woe is me look how terrible my life is " and expects everyone to have sympathy for him. Except he really doesn't know his audience very well.

 

[Erin9]

"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

The bit about Princess Margaret giving him a pen with a fish on it one Christmas and him thinking it was a cheap and stupid gift really grated on me. She was a great aunt, and he was in school at the time. He had everything he could need in terms of clothes and games and toys plus his parents and grandparents were getting him things of that nature. She probably thought “oh this is fun and silly and he can use it at school” and he thought she was being cheap and mean and he’s still making fun of it even though he’s nearly 40.

I thought it was a weird anecdote at first but it gets really weird because the phrase “oh, a Biro. Wow.” gets repeated throughout the book.

He mocked a gift? Sheesh. Given that she was his great aunt- I’m shocked he got anything at all.

I’m sure it was supposed to be seen as fun.

Would you mind elaborating on the “oh, a biro” part? Please.

I find it bizarre some of the stories he thinks are worthy of being in a memoir (petty stuff) and how utterly clueless he seems to be that he comes out looking like a jerk and immature quite a bit. No self reflection.

 

[HRHHermione]

He mocked a gift? Sheesh. Given that she was his great aunt- I’m shocked he got anything at all.

I’m sure it was supposed to be seen as fun.

Would you mind elaborating on the “oh, a biro” part? Please.

I find it bizarre some of the stories he thinks are worthy of being in a memoir (petty stuff) and how utterly clueless he seems to be that he comes out looking like a jerk and immature quite a bit. No self reflection.

His response to her gift was “oh, a Biro. Wow.”

(Biro is a brand name of pen in the UK for people who don’t know- like Bic in the US)

Then, he repeats the line a few times later in the book when he sees or uses a pen. I could easily go run a search of the book for the term and show what I mean if that would be helpful?

 

[Prinsara]

He mocked a gift? Sheesh. Given that she was his great aunt- I’m shocked he got anything at all.

I’m sure it was supposed to be seen as fun.

Would you mind elaborating on the “oh, a biro” part? Please.

I find it bizarre some of the stories he thinks are worthy of being in a memoir (petty stuff) and how utterly clueless he seems to be that he comes out liking like a jerk and immature quite a bit. No self reflection.

If this were fiction, and not merely stranger than, Margot being the embittered spare who gives Harry the metaphoric reference point for all of his future griping and pettiness would be somewhat well-done.

As it is, either the ghostwriter overreached again or...I really don't know why Haz would be obsessed with a pen.... and just a "pen", either. Freudian or Jungian?

 

[Erin9]

It's so petty to go on about an unwanted present from a great aunt, 30 years later. The same with going on about William getting an extra sausage at breakfast. Who, other than Harry, would include things like that in their memoirs?

I kind of wonder if he was sober when he wrote/dictated this book.

Who puts this kind of petty, stream of consciousness stuff in a memoir? Besides him, as you said.

 

[Erin9]

I thought there was a rule anyway about BRF Christmas presents having to be inexpensive things or jokes. Harry's enduring memory of the biro might be justified if Margaret had given William a bicycle but I bet he had something small too.

I think it’s safe to say Harry would have put it in the book if William got the better gift.

 

[Erin9]

I agree, these are ridiculous things to write about. Dear Diary: William got a bigger room and more sausage. Aunt Margaret gave me a crummy gift.



It is like every slight he ever felt gets blurted out in his book. You know, with these sorts of concrete recollections, it almost makes me wonder if he DID keep a diary……nah



Both my parents have died in the past two months. They would have drawn and quartered me if I’d been so ungrateful. I’m so glad that HLM and PP were not here to have to live through this.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Agree on your points.

 

[Erin9]

His response to her gift was “oh, a Biro. Wow.”

(Biro is a brand name of pen in the UK for people who don’t know- like Bic in the US)

Then, he repeats the line a few times later in the book when he sees or uses a pen. I could easily go run a search of the book for the term and show what I mean if that would be helpful?

If you don’t mind. Thank you! I’m curious how this became a reoccurring phrase.

 

[HRHHermione]

If you don’t mind. Thank you! I’m curious how this became a reoccurring phrase.

Here they all are. It's very weird to me that he brought up a childhood Christmas present he disliked at all but even weirder that he refers back to it so many times.



First occurrence, when receiving the present:

"Standing before my pile, I chose to open the smallest present first. The tag said: From Aunt Margo. I looked over, called out: Thank you, Aunt Margo! I do hope you like it, Harry. I tore off the paper. It was… A biro? I said: Oh. A biro. Wow. She said: Yes. A biro. I said: Thank you so much. But it wasn’t just any biro, she pointed out. It had a tiny rubber fish wrapped around it. I said: Oh. A fish biro! OK. I told myself: That is cold-blooded."

Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 74). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.



Second occurrence, when desperately wishing for a pen so he can write to Meghan:

"Mike and I worked out a plan. I could write a letter to Meg, which he’d take home with him to Maun. Teej could then photograph the letter and text it to Meg. (She had Meg’s number on her phone: I’d given it to her when she first went to collect Meg from the airport.) Now I just had to write that letter. The first challenge was finding a pen among that bunch of muppets. Does anyone have a pen? A what? A pen. I’ve got an EpiPen! No! A pen. A biro! My kingdom for a biro! Oh. A biro. Wow."

Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 282). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.





When asking for permission to marry Meghan:

"I’d seen plenty of press reports, sourced to “the Palace,” that some in my family didn’t quite, shall we say, approve of Meg. Didn’t fancy her directness. Didn’t feel altogether comfortable with her strong work ethic. Didn’t even enjoy her occasional questions. What was healthy and natural inquisitiveness they deemed to be impertinence. There were also whispers about a vague and pervasive unease regarding her race. “Concern” had been expressed in certain corners about whether or not Britain was “ready.” Whatever that meant. Was any of that rubbish reaching Granny’s ears? If so, was this request for permission merely a hopeless exercise? Was I doomed to be the next Margaret? Oh. A biro. Wow."

Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 322). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

 

[intothesea]

That repetition is weird.

I assume the author included it because Harry frequently alluded to it himself.

Maybe it’s an inside joke he tells himself whenever he needs a pen, and the author misread that “humour”.

But, I also wonder if it’s a Meghan influence. She tends to repeat stories like the detergent one ad nauseum to reinforce her feminism to an audience. Maybe Harry now does that here to reinforce to us how he’s never getting what he wants from the royal family.

But it’s such a small thing that it just seems strange.

 

[Queen Claude]

It is a bit off putting that he cant recognise the sort of things that will irritate people such as his remebeing that Will got a sausage more than he did, and 35 yrs later he still grumps about it.

Shut your mouth! He included in his book a story about William getting an additional sausage??!! Dare I ask, what was the context?

 

[Prinsara]

"Was any of that rubbish reaching Granny’s ears? If so, was this request for permission merely a hopeless exercise? Was I doomed to be the next Margaret? Oh. A biro. Wow."

Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 322). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Again, that apparently he never checked, or somehow, heard that Margot was allowed to marry the infinitely more-unsuitable Tony Armstrong-Jones because Granny felt guilty?

Every time I think he's reached the limit of stupid and self-absorbed, apparently, he Hazn't.

 

[Kaye1850]

I absolutely do not understand the second reference - writing a letter to MM to be texted by a third party? Why not just text her directly and privately?

 

[HRHHermione]

I absolutely do not understand the second reference - writing a letter to MM to be texted by a third party? Why not just text her directly and privately?

He was in a remote part of Africa and had broken his phone.

 

[HRHHermione]

Shut your mouth! He included in his book a story about William getting an additional sausage??!! Dare I ask, what was the context?

He actually doesn’t mention this in the book- it was brought up in an interview with Paul Burrell as a reaction to this book.

There are a lot of other similarly petty perceived slights though.

 

[Erin9]

Here they all are. It's very weird to me that he brought up a childhood Christmas present he disliked at all but even weirder that he refers back to it so many times.



First occurrence, when receiving the present:

"Standing before my pile, I chose to open the smallest present first. The tag said: From Aunt Margo. I looked over, called out: Thank you, Aunt Margo! I do hope you like it, Harry. I tore off the paper. It was… A biro? I said: Oh. A biro. Wow. She said: Yes. A biro. I said: Thank you so much. But it wasn’t just any biro, she pointed out. It had a tiny rubber fish wrapped around it. I said: Oh. A fish biro! OK. I told myself: That is cold-blooded."

Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 74). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.



Second occurrence, when desperately wishing for a pen so he can write to Meghan:

"Mike and I worked out a plan. I could write a letter to Meg, which he’d take home with him to Maun. Teej could then photograph the letter and text it to Meg. (She had Meg’s number on her phone: I’d given it to her when she first went to collect Meg from the airport.) Now I just had to write that letter. The first challenge was finding a pen among that bunch of muppets. Does anyone have a pen? A what? A pen. I’ve got an EpiPen! No! A pen. A biro! My kingdom for a biro! Oh. A biro. Wow."

Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 282). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.





When asking for permission to marry Meghan:

"I’d seen plenty of press reports, sourced to “the Palace,” that some in my family didn’t quite, shall we say, approve of Meg. Didn’t fancy her directness. Didn’t feel altogether comfortable with her strong work ethic. Didn’t even enjoy her occasional questions. What was healthy and natural inquisitiveness they deemed to be impertinence. There were also whispers about a vague and pervasive unease regarding her race. “Concern” had been expressed in certain corners about whether or not Britain was “ready.” Whatever that meant. Was any of that rubbish reaching Granny’s ears? If so, was this request for permission merely a hopeless exercise? Was I doomed to be the next Margaret? Oh. A biro. Wow."

Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 322). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Thank you! I appreciate it. How very weird. Weird that he refers back to it at all. And weird that he keeps rattling on about pens. (I wonder what conversations with him are like….)

I feel like RME through the section about asking Meghan to marry him. Actually- it’s all pretty bad imo.

 

[Curryong]

I just feel that a lot of things in the book are being taken miles too seriously, especially by people who perhaps aren’t used to a certain type of British humour. I didn’t take multiple references to biros and being a spare part for William half as seriously as many others here. They were attempts at being lighthearted, placed throughout the book by either Harry or his ghostwriter or possibly both, imo.

 

[Sunnystar]

I just feel that a lot of things in the book are being taken miles too seriously, especially by people who perhaps aren’t used to a certain type of British humour. I didn’t take multiple references to biros and being a spare part for William half as seriously as many others here. They were attempts at being lighthearted, placed throughout the book by either Harry or his ghostwriter or possibly both, imo.

Oh, yes, I'm sure that's what all the British folks who've read the book and the various excerpts think... Except, the ones who've been commenting here don't agree with you that this was just "a certain type of British humour." No, sorry, but that's a ridiculous excuse. Harry comes across as self-absorbed, petty, narcissistic, dim-witted, and completely lacking in self-awareness because, well, that seems to be who he really is.

 

[HRHHermione]

I just feel that a lot of things in the book are being taken miles too seriously, especially by people who perhaps aren’t used to a certain type of British humour. I didn’t take multiple references to biros and being a spare part for William half as seriously as many others here. They were attempts at being lighthearted, placed throughout the book by either Harry or his ghostwriter or possibly both, imo.

I’m quite familiar with British humor. I’ve traveled there extensively and I have British friends and colleagues, plus I watch a lot of British television and read a lot of British novels. It’s not a substitute for being British by a long shot, but I’m not coming at it with no context.

A lot of times, good British humor is self-deprecating, rather than cruel about others, which is how much of the “lighthearted” elements of this book read to me.

 

[Prinsara]

I just feel that a lot of things in the book are being taken miles too seriously, especially by people who perhaps aren’t used to a certain type of British humour. I didn’t take multiple references to biros and being a spare part for William half as seriously as many others here. They were attempts at being lighthearted, placed throughout the book by either Harry or his ghostwriter or possibly both, imo.

Quite odd then that it's Brits especially throughout the UK who aren't finding most of the whinging funny.

 

[GraceOMalleysGhost]

I’m quite familiar with British humor. I’ve traveled there extensively and I have British friends and colleagues, plus I watch a lot of British television and read a lot of British novels. It’s not a substitute for being British by a long shot, but I’m not coming at it with no context.

A lot of times, good British humor is self-deprecating, rather than cruel about others, which is how much of the “lighthearted” elements of this book read to me.

I'm very familiar with British humor as well, had a very good friend whose parents were British, and loved his and their wicked sense of humor. It's fun-loving joshing, if they poke at you they do it softly so you can't be too angry. And yes, a lot of it is self-deprecating.

Harry doesn't have a self-deprecating bone in his body. And nothing about his comment that his great-aunt was "cold-blooded" is lighthearted. Rather black-hearted if you ask me.

 

[Curryong]

Well I was born and grew up in Britain and have been back a lot of times since, and there is a certain type of biting British humour there which I saw in the book. Not all British humour is gentle and self deprecating. Some can appear quite savage to those who don’t ‘get it’. And surely no one would take Harry saying he was born to be his brother’s ‘spare part’ seriously. Come on now!

 

[Queen Claude]

He actually doesn’t mention this in the book- it was brought up in an interview with Paul Burrell as a reaction to this book.

There are a lot of other similarly petty perceived slights though.

Thanks for clarifying.

 

[Kaye1850]

He was in a remote part of Africa and had broken his phone.

HRHH, thanks very much for explanation ~ as you can tell, I haven’t read the book and so thank you for taking on the chore on our behalf ??

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Agree on your points.

Thanks so very much, Erin9

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

Here they all are. It's very weird to me that he brought up a childhood Christmas present he disliked at all but even weirder that he refers back to it so many times.



First occurrence, when receiving the present:

"Standing before my pile, I chose to open the smallest present first. The tag said: From Aunt Margo. I looked over, called out: Thank you, Aunt Margo! I do hope you like it, Harry. I tore off the paper. It was… A biro? I said: Oh. A biro. Wow. She said: Yes. A biro. I said: Thank you so much. But it wasn’t just any biro, she pointed out. It had a tiny rubber fish wrapped around it. I said: Oh. A fish biro! OK. I told myself: That is cold-blooded."

Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 74). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.



Second occurrence, when desperately wishing for a pen so he can write to Meghan:

"Mike and I worked out a plan. I could write a letter to Meg, which he’d take home with him to Maun. Teej could then photograph the letter and text it to Meg. (She had Meg’s number on her phone: I’d given it to her when she first went to collect Meg from the airport.) Now I just had to write that letter. The first challenge was finding a pen among that bunch of muppets. Does anyone have a pen? A what? A pen. I’ve got an EpiPen! No! A pen. A biro! My kingdom for a biro! Oh. A biro. Wow."

Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 282). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.





When asking for permission to marry Meghan:

"I’d seen plenty of press reports, sourced to “the Palace,” that some in my family didn’t quite, shall we say, approve of Meg. Didn’t fancy her directness. Didn’t feel altogether comfortable with her strong work ethic. Didn’t even enjoy her occasional questions. What was healthy and natural inquisitiveness they deemed to be impertinence. There were also whispers about a vague and pervasive unease regarding her race. “Concern” had been expressed in certain corners about whether or not Britain was “ready.” Whatever that meant. Was any of that rubbish reaching Granny’s ears? If so, was this request for permission merely a hopeless exercise? Was I doomed to be the next Margaret? Oh. A biro. Wow."

Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 322). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Thank you for going to this trouble. How bizarre! Does Harry think this is witty to keep bringing up a pen and reminding us of his perceived slight from Aunt Margo? I’m sure his cousins weren’t impressed.?

 

[Curryong]

A fish (a representation of which was hanging on the biro) is cold blooded is it not?

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

A fish (a representation of which was hanging on the biro) is cold blooded is it not?

Yeah, I got that too but didn’t think the double entendre was very funny

 

[Leopoldine]

There's British humor, and then there's Harry's description of Angela Kelly as HLM's "person".

In the book, Harry tells of Charles pouting that he deserves to have his person, like Grannie has her person, her dresser Angela, meaning that Angela leaks to the press about things.

Harry stated in the book that Angela was HLM's leak person.

 

[camelot23ca]

I’m quite familiar with British humor. I’ve traveled there extensively and I have British friends and colleagues, plus I watch a lot of British television and read a lot of British novels. It’s not a substitute for being British by a long shot, but I’m not coming at it with no context.

A lot of times, good British humor is self-deprecating, rather than cruel about others, which is how much of the “lighthearted” elements of this book read to me.

For me the running joke about the pen was odd and not funny, no matter how lighthearted Harry’s intentions may have been, or which country’s sense of humour he’s trying to use. The parts about Margaret were strange overall - I half wonder if he included them so that he/the ghostwriter could try to be clever - and fail miserably - by keeping the joke going throughout the book.

In other circumstances that’s all it would have been - a joke that fell flat. If he had written a different sort of book I would have thought the part about Margaret was strange, and a little thoughtless, but nothing earthshaking. What makes the anecdote and attempted joke bad is that they’re included in a book that’s full of bitterness and overt score settling. Harry is so obviously full of malice it’s hard to give him the benefit of the doubt over even potentially benign things. I don’t think anyone will go wrong assuming the worst about Harry.