"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Asteria12]

Perhaps there's so many ridiculous anecdotes in Spare because Harry simply doesn't have anything of real substance to talk about? Sure, he's had a life of privilege, wealth and experiences that many people haven't. However, now that we are given a look at life with his own words, I don't think he's ever really lived life to the fullest. I actually don't believe this book was "full of insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom about the eternal power of love over grief." I don't see any wisdom, self examination or responsibility in it. It may be a hot seller but I think that's only because people seem to love a good train-wreck. I don't. I also don't think that this book, or any sequel if written in the same way, will bring Harry the approval and acclaim that he so clearly craves. I can only hope that perhaps in another 40 years he'll have really had the chance to mature and gain meaningful experiences and relationships that will enrich his life. Perhaps then he might write a better biography.

 

[yukari]

I just feel that a lot of things in the book are being taken miles too seriously, especially by people who perhaps aren’t used to a certain type of British humour. I didn’t take multiple references to biros and being a spare part for William half as seriously as many others here. They were attempts at being lighthearted, placed throughout the book by either Harry or his ghostwriter or possibly both, imo.

If that the case, could we use the same argument of "British humour" for Clarkson's comment towards Meghan? That some people were just too sensitive and took it too seriously, taking it literally when it refered to a scene in a popular series. After all, there are people who understand the GoT reference and found his remark funny.

Is Harry writing a memoir or compilation of stand-up comedy bits? Maybe it's just me, when I'm reading a memoir I take the content seriously because it contains reflection of someone's life, but when I'm reading or watching, say for example, Michael McIntyre's or Jack Whitehall's sets, I won't take it seriously because it's a joke. (btw, I strongly recommend McIntyre. The guy is a genius, he's hilarious!).

Although, to be honest, when I was reading this book, just few chapters in and "is this a joke" was a recurring question I asked myself. Or was that actually Harry's goal in writing this memoir, so people shouldn't take him seriously and would take him as a joke? Because if it is, then he succeeded.

 

[Ghost]

Royalist in NC, i am so sorry for your loss! My condolences!

 

[Lori138]

I echo the above comment as well Royalist in NC. And most days I read this forum as a distraction as well!

 

[Leopoldine]

Perhaps there's so many ridiculous anecdotes in Spare because Harry simply doesn't have anything of real substance to talk about? Sure, he's had a life of privilege, wealth and experiences that many people haven't. However, now that we are given a look at life with his own words, I don't think he's ever really lived life to the fullest. I actually don't believe this book was "full of insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom about the eternal power of love over grief." I don't see any wisdom, self examination or responsibility in it. It may be a hot seller but I think that's only because people seem to love a good train-wreck. I don't. I also don't think that this book, or any sequel if written in the same way, will bring Harry the approval and acclaim that he so clearly craves. I can only hope that perhaps in another 40 years he'll have really had the chance to mature and gain meaningful experiences and relationships that will enrich his life. Perhaps then he might write a better biography.

It comes down to one thing. He does not appear to be intelligent.

 

[HighnessN]

Well I was born and grew up in Britain and have been back a lot of times since, and there is a certain type of biting British humour there which I saw in the book. Not all British humour is gentle and self deprecating. Some can appear quite savage to those who don’t ‘get it’. And surely no one would take Harry saying he was born to be his brother’s ‘spare part’ seriously. Come on now!

My biggest issue with H&M is the double standards and conflicting messaging.
They complain about certain behaviours and turn around and do the very same thing.

Okay, so lets give Harry the very big benefit of the doubt & call his meaness "British humour". Why is it then, they have publicly made swipes on Netflix and Spare about the Wales being formal & recoiling when hugging Meghan when they first met. To me, the message they wanted out is clear, the Brits (aka the Wales) are cold & unwelcoming. H&M are so relaxed, warm & jovial.
When its Harry, thats just British behaviour & we need to undertand it but when its the Wales, the "British behaviour" is a bad thing.

Thats just one example of what I struggle with when it comes to "their truth". It reeks of the very behaviour they find unforgivable in others. I am sorry, I struggle to get past the hypocrisy.

 

[Curryong]

It comes down to one thing. He does not appear to be intelligent.

Well his RAF instructor would disagree with you.

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-harry-story-spare-complete-26044908

He calls him among his top fives students and insists he still has the utmost respect for him.

admiration for Harry, recalling a time they shared a roast lamb for a Sunday lunch. The pair were also pictured together shortly after Harry graduated from the Defence Elementary Flying Training School in 2009.

Michael adds: “He was an exceptional student, very talented indeed. He is a friend and a man I respect immensely who would always have my ear.”

 

[Lee-Z]

For what it's wotrth, i think the BRF have a great sense of humor, including the quotes that P.Phlip was known for
and i always thought Harry had that too, it's just that humor is very difficult to transfer on paper to people who have a different kind of humor or who don't know you personally (i used to write small articles for a local paper a bit and one of the things that is advised is not to use humor, because you don't know how it's perceived by the reader.)

If I assume he indeed meant to be funny in the book, it could also apply to the todger and pregnancy test stories, so that would shed a different light on the book.
(It would have been great if he hadn't done those interviews and documentaries that were all about him and no shred of selfdepreciating british humor, but hey, what's done is done.)

as always, i hope he is at the start of the next step in his life and he can start focussing on moving forward and that we can too ?

 

[Denville]

It's so petty to go on about an unwanted present from a great aunt, 30 years later. The same with going on about William getting an extra sausage at breakfast. Who, other than Harry, would include things like that in their memoirs?

Exactly. And in all honesty given Harry's own claim that he doesn't always remember things and the many MANY things that are wrong in the book (being away Skiing when the QM died etc) why would anyone beleive what he says without corroboration. I think that Margo was reasonably kind to him, but she was a tired sick woman in her later years, and probably wasnt up to playing with young kids. to remember her as a mean old bat who didnt give him an expensive enough present seems unkind..

 

[moby]

British humor has to be witty, and witty people are smart. This book isn't. The funniest comment I saw was Camilla telling Harry to be Governor General of Bermuda, and the reference to the Duke of Windsor flew over his head.

 

[Ghost]

Well his RAF instructor would disagree with you.

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-harry-story-spare-complete-26044908

He calls him among his top fives students and insists he still has the utmost respect for him.

admiration for Harry, recalling a time they shared a roast lamb for a Sunday lunch. The pair were also pictured together shortly after Harry graduated from the Defence Elementary Flying Training School in 2009.

Michael adds: “He was an exceptional student, very talented indeed. He is a friend and a man I respect immensely who would always have my ear.”

He was an on the job instructor. Being a top five student means Harry had aquired the skills necessary, not specifically that he’s inteligent. Different things, each of them laudable.

 

[Denville]

Well I was born and grew up in Britain and have been back a lot of times since, and there is a certain type of biting British humour there which I saw in the book. Not all British humour is gentle and self deprecating. Some can appear quite savage to those who don’t ‘get it’. And surely no one would take Harry saying he was born to be his brother’s ‘spare part’ seriously. Come on now!

in the context of his apparent belief that his mother had faked her death, and the fear that Will apparently elicited in him, I dont know HOW one is meant to take the being born to be a collection of spare parts. He clearly has a lot of difficulty with reality, and he clearly is genuinely scared of his brother or really is angry with him for some reason....
I think it si not beyond the realms of possibility that on some level he DOES believe that the RF saw him as just someone who was there to provide a kidney for William should the need arise.
HOnestly I cant understand why people who like Harry are not more concerned with his mental state

 

[Denville]

Well his RAF instructor would disagree with you.

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-harry-story-spare-complete-26044908

He calls him among his top fives students and insists he still has the utmost respect for him.

admiration for Harry, recalling a time they shared a roast lamb for a Sunday lunch. The pair were also pictured together shortly after Harry graduated from the Defence Elementary Flying Training School in 2009.

Michael adds: “He was an exceptional student, very talented indeed. He is a friend and a man I respect immensely who would always have my ear.”

He is hardly going to say anyting too unkind about one of his students who is still a member of the RF.

 

[Alison H]

Believe me, Harry's book's got nothing to do with British humour. Whingeing and whining about minor incidents that happened 30 years ago is not funny ... although it did give one of the papers the excuse for a "Harry jealous of William's sausage" headline.

 

[Lilyflo]

Well his RAF instructor would disagree with you.

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-harry-story-spare-complete-26044908

He calls him among his top fives students and insists he still has the utmost respect for him.

admiration for Harry, recalling a time they shared a roast lamb for a Sunday lunch. The pair were also pictured together shortly after Harry graduated from the Defence Elementary Flying Training School in 2009.

Michael adds: “He was an exceptional student, very talented indeed. He is a friend and a man I respect immensely who would always have my ear.”

I think Harry's intelligence is strong in the skills required for piloting a helicopter and precision weaponry. His weaker areas appear to be logic and reasoning, which coupled with his emotional fragility and the effect of significant drug abuse have diminished his ability to examine his resentments, to be more objective and to consider alternative perspectives. Therefore, when he speaks or 'writes' about his life, he comes across as shallow, simplistic and occasionally deluded, which creates an impression overall of lower intelligence than he might otherwise have.

 

[Granada]

Dear Royalist.in.NC, so sorry for your double loss. That's a bitter pill in any case, especially around the Holidays.
Condolences to You and your Family.

 

[Denville]

I think Harry's intelligence is strong in the skills required for piloting a helicopter and precision weaponry. His weaker areas appear to be logic and reasoning, which coupled with his emotional fragility and the effect of significant drug abuse have diminished his ability to examine his resentments, to be more objective and to consider alternative perspectives. Therefore, when he speaks or 'writes' about his life, he comes across as shallow, simplistic and occasionally deluded, which creates an impression overall of lower intelligence than he might otherwise have.

so how did he train as a pilot and work as a pilot, if he was doing a lot of drugs?

 

[Lilyflo]

so how did he train as a pilot and work as a pilot, if he was doing a lot of drugs?

I'd guess he was abstaining when training and piloting. He isn't an addict so is able to do that. My understanding is the kind of drugs he was using don't effect things like driving and operating machinery when they're not in your body. However, studies have shown they can have a detrimental effect on mental and emotional health.

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

I echo the above comment as well Royalist in NC. And most days I read this forum as a distraction as well!

Thanks so much, Ghost and Lori

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

British humor has to be witty, and witty people are smart. This book isn't. The funniest comment I saw was Camilla telling Harry to be Governor General of Bermuda, and the reference to the Duke of Windsor flew over his head.

That was indeed very witty and classic - and he didn’t get the reference to the Duke of Windsor.

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

Dear Royalist.in.NC, so sorry for your double loss. That's a bitter pill in any case, especially around the Holidays.
Condolences to You and your Family.

Thanks so much, Granada

 

[Prinsara]

Well his RAF instructor would disagree with you.

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-harry-story-spare-complete-26044908

He calls him among his top fives students and insists he still has the utmost respect for him.

admiration for Harry, recalling a time they shared a roast lamb for a Sunday lunch. The pair were also pictured together shortly after Harry graduated from the Defence Elementary Flying Training School in 2009.

Michael adds: “He was an exceptional student, very talented indeed. He is a friend and a man I respect immensely who would always have my ear.”

That's the same guy who can't believe Harry didn't know or doesn't remember that everything that happened during the flights at that stage was thoroughly briefed beforehand, and he's astounded Harry would say otherwise and reflect poorly on his training! ...As it says in the article.

 

[Denville]

I'd guess he was abstaining when training and piloting. He isn't an addict so is able to do that. My understanding is the kind of drugs he was using don't effect things like driving and operating machinery when they're not in your body. However, studies have shown they can have a detrimental effect on mental and emotional health.

Um, the point about tests for drugs is that they are illegal and they alos have a bad effect on one's mind ad body. If Harry was on active service, he should not have been using drugs. He must have been tipped off to avoid regular tests. ANd who says he isn't an addict? He seems to have been using A LOT of drugs over his young years and he comes across as someone whose brain isnt functioning too well now.

 

[Denville]

That's the same guy who can't believe Harry didn't know or doesn't remember that everything that happened during the flights at that stage was thoroughly briefed beforehand, and he's astounded Harry would say otherwise and reflect poorly on his training! ...As it says in the article.

well like a lot of commentators on royalty, he says contradictory things because he does not want to sound negative about someone in H's position. Its possible htat he liked Harry but now finds it hard to understand all the odd things that H is saying, about his army training and other things. Also possible he had to work hard to get H through his training.

 

[HighGoalHighDreams]

Well his RAF instructor would disagree with you.

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-harry-story-spare-complete-26044908

He calls him among his top fives students and insists he still has the utmost respect for him.

admiration for Harry, recalling a time they shared a roast lamb for a Sunday lunch. The pair were also pictured together shortly after Harry graduated from the Defence Elementary Flying Training School in 2009.

Michael adds: “He was an exceptional student, very talented indeed. He is a friend and a man I respect immensely who would always have my ear.”

Is this the same or different RAF instructor who said the story in Spare of their time together was a made up figment of Harry’s imagination?

In all sincerity though, certainly that Harry’s recollections in the book are meant to be expressions of humor are one interpretation, but not one I’ve seen previous to now. The cold hard truth is that even publications who have gone to every length to defend him up until this book came out are now putting their hands up. It’s not the “same old rags” piling on anymore. Everyone agrees we’re seeing something seriously amiss here, and if the only way around that is to say the man’s biography, which he himself billed as insights into his life, is just him being a joker, there’s going to be no convincing otherwise.

Having watched his interviews about the book, I’m not sure how any plausible argument can be put forth that he means a word of this to be taken in humor.

 

[Lilyflo]

Um, the point about tests for drugs is that they are illegal and they alos have a bad effect on one's mind ad body. If Harry was on active service, he should not have been using drugs. He must have been tipped off to avoid regular tests. ANd who says he isn't an addict? He seems to have been using A LOT of drugs over his young years and he comes across as someone whose brain isnt functioning too well now.

I'm not quite sure what point you're making that's different to mine? There's no evidence that he used drugs while on active service but he did avoid a random drugs test at a base in the UK. As soon as it became known the testers had arrived, Harry was called away "on urgent palace business".

His latest therapist said "I'm surprised you're not a drug addict" and Harry doesn't dispute that by admitting he is. The evidence of his drug abuse covers Class A drugs but seems weighted towards cannabis, which isn't proven to be physically addictive but studies have shown it can be detrimental to some people mentally.

 

[TLLK]

Is this the same or different RAF instructor who said the story in Spare of their time together was a made up figment of Harry’s imagination?

In all sincerity though, certainly that Harry’s recollections in the book are meant to be expressions of humor are one interpretation, but not one I’ve seen previous to now. The cold hard truth is that even publications who have gone to every length to defend him up until this book came out are now putting their hands up. It’s not the “same old rags” piling on anymore. Everyone agrees we’re seeing something seriously amiss here, and if the only way around that is to say the man’s biography, which he himself billed as insights into his life, is just him being a joker, there’s going to be no convincing otherwise.

Having watched his interviews about the book, I’m not sure how any plausible argument can be put forth that he means a word of this to be taken in humor.[/QUOTE

. ]

From the articles that I have read, it is the same instructor.

 

[Prinsara]

I'm not quite sure what point you're making that's different to mine? There's no evidence that he used drugs while on active service but he did avoid a random drugs test at a base in the UK. As soon as it became known the testers had arrived, Harry was called away "on urgent palace business".

Are you serious? Who was arranging for Harry to avoid drug tests? And who was sanctioning that? Did he never take a military drugs test?

 

[Lilyflo]

Are you serious? Who was arranging for Harry to avoid drug tests? And who was sanctioning that? Did he never take a military drugs test?

Yes I'm serious but I can't remember where I read/heard that - it was quite recently though and not in a tabloid.

 

[_Heather_]

Both my parents have died in the past two months. They would have drawn and quartered me if I’d been so ungrateful. I’m so glad that HLM and PP were not here to have to live through this.

I'm so sorry to hear this. My condolences. This forum often is a wonderful distraction when life gets too heavy. Hopefully you're enjoying some time on the sofa with the laptop and a nice hot tea or coffee.

The parts about Margaret were strange overall - I half wonder if he included them so that he/the ghostwriter could try to be clever - and fail miserably - by keeping the joke going throughout the book.

My own personal opinion is that Margaret and the odd stories about her were included in an attempt at equating her "spare" status and eccentricities or difficulties with his own in some weird, roundabout way.

British humor has to be witty, and witty people are smart. This book isn't. The funniest comment I saw was Camilla telling Harry to be Governor General of Bermuda, and the reference to the Duke of Windsor flew over his head.

Truly great British humor is an artform and a thing of beauty. This book isn't it. The Governor General of Bermuda joke and that fact that it flew straight over Harry's head is hilarious. While I already liked the new Queen very, very much, this certainly added to my appreciation of her and her sense of humor.

HOnestly I cant understand why people who like Harry are not more concerned with his mental state

Exactly this. I genuinely don't understand how these defenders are unable to see the very real mental health problems that he himself has laid bare for all the world to see. Part of genuinely caring about someone, as they so loudly profess to do, is caring about their mental state and caring whether or not they're living in and adequately processing reality even when it's difficult. Harry is quite clearly having a difficult time with this and apparently has for a long, long time.