"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Lee-Z]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1617904059213570048

Who needs empathy for others, truth and discretion when you can sell stories, right

 

[irish_royalist]

I've read a bit of this book, although I didn't buy it. To me, several things come to mind :

- Harry 'pretends' to know less about what it means to be a member of the British Royal Family (rank, protocol, etc) than I do, although I've just been watching from afar for years
- he mocks his ancestry (those silly grey Royals lying dead at Frogmore, the long dead King Henry's who are his multiple-great ancestors, his great-aunt Princess Margaret and her wacky Christmas presents), yet he wishes he'd asked the Queen Mother ('The War Queen') more about her fascinating life and family and relished sitting chatting intimately to her
- he has not yet dealt with the death of his mother - his family perhaps handled it badly, but that is the case with many families in the face of tragic loss
- he has real issues with his brother - he professes to love him, yet appears to have a profound sense of jealousy

It has made me feel sorry for him and his life, but at some stage he has to take ownership of that. And it's questionable if this is the right way to do that.

 

[Denville]

I've read a bit of this book, although I didn't buy it. To me, several things come to mind :

- Harry 'pretends' to know less about what it means to be a member of the British Royal Family (rank, protocol, etc) than I do, although I've just been watching from afar for years
-
It has made me feel sorry for him and his life, but at some stage he has to take ownership of that. And it's questionable if this is the right way to do that.

Im not sure he was pretending, in saying things like he didnt know that he had to get permission from the queen to get married. I think he honestly didn't know.
And yes Its obvious that he still has not gotten over his mother's death but it IS worrying that for many years he claims that he beleived she had faked her death. That's really very wierd and irrational... Even if he was terribly terribly grieved Im sure noone encoraged him in that delusion yet he clung to it.

 

[Curryong]

Who needs empathy for others, truth and discretion when you can sell stories, right

I happen to have enjoyed Spare. I make my own mind up, not influenced by others’ negativity about Prince Harry. And it appears many thousands of people around the world are doing the same. There were wild predictions from tabloids in the run up to publication that Britons wouldn’t buy this book in any great numbers. Well, that’s been proven wrong!

 

[Denville]

but what does that matter? People buy all sorts of books, many of them are totally crazy or silly or unpleasant. It does not mean that the writer has anteing worthwhile to say nor that the subject of the book is admirable.
I think a lot of people who have read the book or some of it, are shocked at what it reveals of Harry, others may continue to like him. Some people may feel concerned at the odd things that he says, such as that he thinks it is OK to tell us that he thought of his mother when putting cream on his bits or that he thought that Diana had faked her death, for years... But the fact that the books sold fairly well does not mean anything other than that a lot of people chose to buy it...

 

[HRHHermione]

I've read a bit of this book, although I didn't buy it. To me, several things come to mind :



- Harry 'pretends' to know less about what it means to be a member of the British Royal Family (rank, protocol, etc) than I do, although I've just been watching from afar for years

- he mocks his ancestry (those silly grey Royals lying dead at Frogmore, the long dead King Henry's who are his multiple-great ancestors, his great-aunt Princess Margaret and her wacky Christmas presents), yet he wishes he'd asked the Queen Mother ('The War Queen') more about her fascinating life and family and relished sitting chatting intimately to her

- he has not yet dealt with the death of his mother - his family perhaps handled it badly, but that is the case with many families in the face of tragic loss

- he has real issues with his brother - he professes to love him, yet appears to have a profound sense of jealousy



It has made me feel sorry for him and his life, but at some stage he has to take ownership of that. And it's questionable if this is the right way to do that.

The bit about Princess Margaret giving him a pen with a fish on it one Christmas and him thinking it was a cheap and stupid gift really grated on me. She was a great aunt, and he was in school at the time. He had everything he could need in terms of clothes and games and toys plus his parents and grandparents were getting him things of that nature. She probably thought “oh this is fun and silly and he can use it at school” and he thought she was being cheap and mean and he’s still making fun of it even though he’s nearly 40.

I thought it was a weird anecdote at first but it gets really weird because the phrase “oh, a Biro. Wow.” gets repeated throughout the book.

 

[_Heather_]

The bit about Princess Margaret giving him a pen with a fish on it one Christmas and him thinking it was a cheap and stupid gift really grated on me. She was a great aunt, and he was in school at the time. He had everything he could need in terms of clothes and games and toys plus his parents and grandparents were getting him things of that nature. She probably thought “oh this is fun and silly and he can use it at school” and he thought she was being cheap and mean and he’s still making fun of it even though he’s nearly 40.

I thought it was a weird anecdote at first but it gets really weird because the phrase “oh, a Biro. Wow.” gets repeated throughout the book.

That particular tale from the book really grated on me, too. What a spoiled, ungrateful, arrogant little brat. And while that can be said about many, many teenagers the world over, it's quite pathetic that he's still so upset about it at nearly 40 that it has not only stuck with him but had to be recounted for the world. I can't help but wonder what Lady Sarah and Earl Snowdon thought of this bit of oversharing.

 

[Denville]

It is a bit off putting that he cant recognise the sort of things that will irritate people such as his remebeing that Will got a sausage more than he did, and 35 yrs later he still grumps about it.

 

[Prinsara]

It also shows that even though it's a family tradition for these fabulously wealthy and privileged people to give each other cheap, boring, or silly gifts — although Harry may have been a bit young for it at the time, he still hasn't "gotten it" in the interval.

Not even two seasons of The Crown have made the point to him.

 

[Denville]

It also shows that even though it's a family tradition for these fabulously wealthy and privileged people to give each other cheap, boring, or silly gifts — although Harry may have been a bit young for it at the time, he still hasn't "gotten it" in the interval.

Not even two seasons of The Crown have made the point to him.

The family tradtion is because they ARE So rich, it would look bad to the public if it got out that the queen was buying her already rich son a diamond studded pen or something.

 

[Curryong]

That particular tale from the book really grated on me, too. What a spoiled, ungrateful, arrogant little brat. And while that can be said about many, many teenagers the world over, it's quite pathetic that he's still so upset about it at nearly 40 that it has not only stuck with him but had to be recounted for the world. I can't help but wonder what Lady Sarah and Earl Snowdon thought of this bit of oversharing.

It’s clear in the book that Princess Margaret took very little notice of her great-nephew at all during his childhood, or afterwards. There was little interaction at any time.

I don’t think Harry expected an expensive present. The RF have a long standing custom of giving each other cheap but imaginative and fun little gifts at Xmas. However the emphasis with the gifts (and we have read of many examples over the years) had to be big on imagination and fun, a bit of amusement. A biro with a fish on it was quite obviously none of those things.

And so I think Harry presented that particular anecdote in the book as illustrative of the relationship between himself and his great-aunt, ie remote and a bit frosty.

 

[Denville]

It’s clear in the book that Princess Margaret took very little notice of her great-nephew at all during his childhood, or afterwards. There was little interaction at any time.

I don’t think Harry expected an expensive present. The RF have a long standing custom of giving each other cheap but imaginative and fun little gifts at Xmas. However the emphasis with the gifts (and we have read of many examples over the years) had to be big on imagination and fun, a bit of amusement. A biro with a fish on it was quite obviously none of those things.

And so I think Harry presented that particular anecdote in the book as illustrative of the relationship between himself and his great-aunt, ie remote and a bit frosty.

well Margo was fond of Diana for a long time and stayed freinds with her, even when Di's relations with Charles were getting cool. I dont know of Margo's turning nasty on Diana's sons.

 

[HRHHermione]

It’s clear in the book that Princess Margaret took very little notice of her great-nephew at all during his childhood, or afterwards. There was little interaction at any time.



I don’t think Harry expected an expensive present. The RF have a long standing custom of giving each other cheap but imaginative and fun little gifts at Xmas. However the emphasis with the gifts (and we have read of many examples over the years) had to be big on imagination and fun, a bit of amusement. A biro with a fish on it was quite obviously none of those things.



And so I think Harry presented that particular anecdote in the book as illustrative of the relationship between himself and his great-aunt, ie remote and a bit frosty.

I got pens with silly erasers or in weird colors or with characters on them all the time as a kid and I thought they were lots of fun. That’s exactly the kind of thing a great aunt would have given me, and I don’t come from a wealthy family. As a kid, you don’t really think about the feelings of adults because kids are very inwardly focused- it’s developmentally appropriate. But as an adult, you generally realize the adults around when you were a kid had their own problems and inner lives and you stop being as hard on them.

I just thought it very strange that a 38 year old man would say publicly he disliked a Christmas present he received as a child, because it’s such a meaningless thing to anchor a story.

 

[Denville]

I cant remember any Christmas presents that I got, as a kid, and certainly I only got a handful, from a few aunts and uncles, and my parents.....
I am sure that i've read that Margo when Diana died wrote to the queen about the grief of the boys... so while she's never been my favourtie royal I doubt if she snubbed the boys and deliberately gave H a cheap present out of spite.

 

[_Heather_]

It’s clear in the book that Princess Margaret took very little notice of her great-nephew at all during his childhood, or afterwards. There was little interaction at any time.

I don’t think Harry expected an expensive present. The RF have a long standing custom of giving each other cheap but imaginative and fun little gifts at Xmas. However the emphasis with the gifts (and we have read of many examples over the years) had to be big on imagination and fun, a bit of amusement. A biro with a fish on it was quite obviously none of those things.

And so I think Harry presented that particular anecdote in the book as illustrative of the relationship between himself and his great-aunt, ie remote and a bit frosty.

Precisely my point. This was an inconsequential and unimportant thing. We're all well versed in the cheap and funny present tradition of the BRF. However, this is a great-aunt that he didn't know well. That's not at all uncommon. A great many teenagers don't know their great aunts and uncles well. For it to be this large a moment in his mind all these years later is quite pathetic. Most people would have forgotten it altogether after all these years or laughed about it when trying to get a gift for those "hard to buy for people" but Harry? Well Harry is bitter and resentful and still stewing on such an insignificant thing.

 

[tihkon2]

Originally Posted by Curryong View Post
It’s clear in the book that Princess Margaret took very little notice of her great-nephew at all during his childhood, or afterwards. There was little interaction at any time.

I don't think it's clear at all since Harry isn't known for being truthful or telling us verifiable facts.

 

[Curryong]

Well, as far as snubbing Harry was there in the midst of the RF and we aren’t. If Prss Margaret was a big ball of rollicking fun as a great aunt or a very kindly and sympathetic one during his childhood and youth, then Harry would have remembered her as such. The fact that he didn’t doesn’t make him a liar.

I don’t think Harry had much to do with her or she with him, and so the pen incident stuck out for him. If she had given him a cheap pen at Xmas but was a nice and interested relative during the year then no doubt Harry would have remembered that as a whole.

 

[FigTree]

well Margo was fond of Diana for a long time and stayed freinds with her, even when Di's relations with Charles were getting cool. I dont know of Margo's turning nasty on Diana's sons.

I think they had a fine relationship with her. She was there a lot during those 'weird' family get togethers. In the Queens 90th Birthday film, they saw her on a video of Eugenie's(?) Christening and went: Margo...Keep me away from the children. Then they both (W & H) laughed. They knew what she was like. I think they hardly took offense to it.

But Margaret was very interested in lots of things about thr lle royal children. She was, apparently, the only one interested in Anne's education and would check her work. So while she may not have been down on her knees playing with the children...she was interested.

 

[Curryong]

Anne was her niece not a great-niece and therefore Margaret was a lot younger then. She was checking Anne’s work in the mid 1950s when Anne was still in the schoolroom at BP. There’s a lot of difference between 1955 and the 1990s when William and Harry were growing up, and a lot had happened to Margaret as well in the years between. Harry does not say in Spare that Margaret was nasty to him, just that there was very little interaction between them.

 

[Alison H]

It's so petty to go on about an unwanted present from a great aunt, 30 years later. The same with going on about William getting an extra sausage at breakfast. Who, other than Harry, would include things like that in their memoirs?

 

[FigTree]

Anne was her niece not a great-niece and therefore Margaret was a lot younger then. She was checking Anne’s work in the mid 1950s when Anne was still in the schoolroom at BP. There’s a lot of difference between 1955 and the 1990s when William and Harry were growing up, and a lot had happened to Margaret as well in the years between. Harry does not say in Spare that Margaret was nasty to him, just that there was very little interaction between them.

And what pray did you want her to do with them? He got a pen from her big deal. It's the of stuff great aunts do. It was petty to mention it now. As if anyone cares.

 

[FigTree]

It's so petty to go on about an unwanted present from a great aunt, 30 years later. The same with going on about William getting an extra sausage at breakfast. Who, other than Harry, would include things like that in their memoirs?

He is just so so so angry. And has been his whole life. I had umpteen tantrums about not getting as much as my sibling. Kicked and screamed at times because they got something and I didn't. I grew up and feel shame at it now...although kids are irrational.

 

[Lilyflo]

I thought there was a rule anyway about BRF Christmas presents having to be inexpensive things or jokes. Harry's enduring memory of the biro might be justified if Margaret had given William a bicycle but I bet he had something small too.

 

[FigTree]

I thought there was a rule anyway about BRF Christmas presents having to be inexpensive things or jokes. Harry's enduring memory of the biro might be justified if Margaret had given William a bicycle but I bet he had something small too.

Yes. Cheap and funny. Apparently Kate Middleton made the Queen Cutney one Christmas. Someone got her an apron or something another.

 

[GraceOMalleysGhost]

Didn't someone once get a whoopie cushion? Andrew or Sarah?

It was a gag, Harry was just too unsophisticated to understand the joke, apparently he still is. He's been traumatized for life by a pen. How fragile can you get?

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

It's so petty to go on about an unwanted present from a great aunt, 30 years later. The same with going on about William getting an extra sausage at breakfast. Who, other than Harry, would include things like that in their memoirs?

I agree, these are ridiculous things to write about. Dear Diary: William got a bigger room and more sausage. Aunt Margaret gave me a crummy gift.

It is like every slight he ever felt gets blurted out in his book. You know, with these sorts of concrete recollections, it almost makes me wonder if he DID keep a diary……nah

Both my parents have died in the past two months. They would have drawn and quartered me if I’d been so ungrateful. I’m so glad that HLM and PP were not here to have to live through this.

 

[GraceOMalleysGhost]

I agree, these are ridiculous things to write about. Dear Diary: William got a bigger room and more sausage. Aunt Margaret gave me a crummy gift.

It is like every slight he ever felt gets blurted out in his book. You know, with these sorts of concrete recollections, it almost makes me wonder if he DID keep a diary……nah

Both my parents have died in the past two months. They would have drawn and quartered me if I’d been so ungrateful. I’m so glad that HLM and PP were not here to have to live through this.

Oh, Royalist, I'm so sorry for your losses. Sending you a giant air hug.

Unfortunately, I think both of them saw enough of Harry to see how dysfunctional and angry he was, especially in their later years. I'm sure it broke both their hearts.

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

Oh, Royalist, I'm so sorry for your losses. Sending you a giant air hug.

Unfortunately, I think both of them saw enough of Harry to see how dysfunctional and angry he was, especially in their later years. I'm sure it broke both their hearts.

Thanks so very much, Grace. I’ll be honest - this forum has been a great distraction for me during the numbness of my grief.

And I agree that unfortunately Harry’s grandparents saw enough to make them very concerned.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

I cant remember any Christmas presents that I got, as a kid, and certainly I only got a handful, from a few aunts and uncles, and my parents.....
I am sure that i've read that Margo when Diana died wrote to the queen about the grief of the boys... so while she's never been my favourtie royal I doubt if she snubbed the boys and deliberately gave H a cheap present out of spite.

I remember 2 gifts. A diary that I thought would be a Gameboy. Anyone remember those old gray rectangle ones? And also a cd of my childhood crush.
Harry's complaining and resentment seems to give a bad name to therapy, he is whining about pointless things. Also as a kid we would spend money to buy those pencils with erasers; looking back I wasted my money because those erasers never worked long.

 

[Prinsara]

I agree, these are ridiculous things to write about. Dear Diary: William got a bigger room and more sausage. Aunt Margaret gave me a crummy gift.

It is like every slight he ever felt gets blurted out in his book. You know, with these sorts of concrete recollections, it almost makes me wonder if he DID keep a diary……nah

Both my parents have died in the past two months. They would have drawn and quartered me if I’d been so ungrateful. I’m so glad that HLM and PP were not here to have to live through this.

"The Secret Diary of Henry Albert Windsor, Age 11 3/4". That'll be the next thing published.

His grandparents lived through the Second World War; her ungrateful uncle, his basket of family tragedies, and their own children blowing up headlines in the 90's. Not to mention Andrew, recently. I'm pretty sure they could have coped with Harry's stupidity and oversharing (or as the BBC put it, "the world's longest angry drunk text").

However, is it slightly a relief that they don't have to? Yeah.