from a lot of what H seems to have said, it may well be that he didn't know himself what life was like as a royal. He thought that the RF were attacking him by briefing the press, yet he thought that they could have a few phone calls and spare Meghan any hassle?Of course they’re both to blame. Based on what Harry describes in the book Meghan didn’t react well to everything that came with being publicly outed as his girlfriend and then fiancée. Not that many people could react well, as such, but I think quite a few educated women in their 30s would have approached the situation in a calmer, more clear eyed way.
Part of the problem is that Harry likely oversold his ability to “protect her” from the various issues that came with being a member of the Royal Family.
Similarly, he may have misled her regarding how prominent a role she’d have within the family, how much money they’d be able to access, how hierarchical the family was, etc. But again, it shouldn’t have taken long for Meghan to see what the family and their lives were really like.
I get the feeling he did not realise himself that teh RF is hierarchical and that he and Meg would be expected to do some work for their privileged status and that they would never have teh higher status of Will and Kate.