"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Denville]

I'm astonished by Harry's words on Camilla, especially the "bodies in the street line". Its so reckless and egregious. He has said so many mad things but this one really crosses a line.

This is not how a happy and content person acts.

Indeed if the implication is that Cam had soemthig to do with Diana's death it is pretty bad behaviour . There are people out there who seem to genuinely believe that Di was murdered... this is jsut fuel to the fire.

 

[_Heather_]

I actually wish that Meghan had worn the Spencer tiara. As it is, the tiara she did wear is most likely doomed to never see the sun again. Meghan certainly won't wear it, and any other member of the BRF won't touch it because of the connotations of being seen wearing "Meghan's" tiara.

Agreed a million times over. This is a beautiful and historic tiara and it's such a shame that this is now the association making it highly unlikely we'll see this again any time even remotely soon.

I'm glad the book dropped early, I think the wind has certainly come out of the Sussex's sails with the global reactions......

Same. I'd love to be a fly on the wall in Montecito over the past few days. I'd bet my last dollar that this is not at all the course of events or the reception they'd expected.

The entire foundation of Harry's fragile emotional health is gone too.

Bingo. I honestly believe that this is the biggest reason that we'll see no comments of the RF. It's clear that there's much to be concerned about with regard to Harry's emotional and mental health and while I'm sure they're not thrilled with the things he's said, I'd bet good money that they're far more concerned with his blatantly obvious emotional and mental health issues right now and will not exacerbate them.

It seems that it just won’t Beatrice and Eugenie Harry will have problems with, but the Snowdons too.

Agreed. And this is really so incredibly sad that he's blowing up the very last of the supportive or at least indifferent relationships he had left.

 

[Toledo]

Clips of the interview are out, and I've read several of the leaked pages of the book. It's just repugnant that a grown man has a fixation on being so vindictive he uses his Montecito 'exile' as the launching ground for his grievances against his family on the other side of the world.

A mature man would have done this in private, face to face with his family. That's what is called here in the USA an intervention. Family and friends gather, all issues are discussed, and the expected outcome is to move on and let bygones be bygones.

Neither Harry nor Meghan have maturity, nor goodwill, to accomplish this since their focus seems to be to put others down so they can look better themselves.

And how dare Harry state he needs an apology from his family when his very own wife, and him too, can't even mediate with Meghan's father who just want to meet his grandchildren and has apologized over and over for his actions?

Their level of hypocrisy is as disgusting as Harry's fixation on his private parts, and even his father and brother's, on the excerpts leaked from the book.

And on the question of what we in the USA are thinking about this book and his claims on being a victim, we are just fed up with them. Just because Oprah, Gayle King or Anderson Cooper sell mediocre interviews for the sake of ratings doesn't mean the USA public can't see through the lies and exaggerations.

Trivia notes on the Anderson Cooper interview: His grandaunt Thelma introduced Wallis Simpson to King Edward VIII, Queen Elizabeth's uncle that abdicated in favor of QEII's father.
Thelma Furness twin sister was Gloria Morgan, mother of Gloria Vanderbilt and grandmother of Anderson Cooper. What an irony that Anderson's family was the cause then that Prince Harry has now a royal life to complain about!

 

[Saragli]

Indeed if the implication is that Cam had soemthig to do with Diana's death it is pretty bad behaviour . There are people out there who seem to genuinely believe that Di was murdered... this is jsut fuel to the fire.

Yes, Harry's various comments, especially on his mothers death, are sure to fuel the conspiracy theories. It is understandable for a grieving child to always have questions, doubts, and a never healing wound over losing their parent in such a way. However, he is old enough now to understand that a driver who thought he had the night off, so he imbibed to his desire, was suddenly called up to drive by his boss, and drive in a car he had no training for, and speed through a dangerous tunnel, with his passengers not wearing seatbelts, might actually be the reason for their deaths.

Similar to how Harry is unable to see, or admit, that he and his wife may have made mistakes or be in the wrong, he seems unable to accept that his mother made the mistake of getting into a car with an inebriated driver and not wear a seatbelt. It was a horrible tragedy, but it was just that, a tragedy.

 

[tausi]

In Fox news article: I find this statement from Harry very interesting. Apparently Harry has no idea what he/ Meghan did wrong.

"The ball is very much in their court, but, you know, Meghan and I have continued to say that we will openly apologize for anything that we did wrong, but every time we ask that question, no one's telling us the specifics or anything," Harry said. "There needs to be a constructive conversation, one that can happen in private that doesn't get leaked."

 

[Prinsara]

It's sort of sad they can't realize what they've done wrong without someone specifying it.

It's either two very unhealthy and emotionally immature people, or a load of fertilizer. Or both.

 

[HighnessN]

At the moment I dont believe Harry loves his father and brother. His actions dont show that at all. Like someone said above, we can love our relatives & still have some resentments. Thats not what I get from Harry at the moment, just pure hate.

The reason they got some sympathy after the Oprah interview is because they managed to relay those resentments towards the family without coming across as mean & vidictive. Harry came across as someone who still loved his family even though they were some issues & was struggling with the breakdown of those relationships.

What we have seen from the book leaks is a lot of unnecessary stories that come across as mean spirited. Even the words that are used. The irony is that the people that he is attacking are the ones that are coming off in a more sympathetic light. He claims that Charles was not made to be a single parent yet other stories he tells show that Charles was & is trying. Same with William, what I get is a brother that has always tried to protect him, even from himself.

I dont know that was the brief that the ghostwritter was given with this book but he has not done Harry (& by extension Meghan) any favours at all. Its either H&M were not taking advice & he had little imput or the publisher wanted to make sire they got what they paid for with no care of the PR mess this could be for Harry.

Nextflix & Spare will not change opinions of the strong supporters of either side. The more neutral observer is where the issue is for H&M. Thats were they have lost support.

 

[Mirabel]

They have a cute little perfect family.

It feels good to be cathartic and lay all your cards on the table.

There's no need to protect anyone, especially one who inflicted physical violence against him.

Open up all the windows and air it all out. It's a great relief to do so.

Fine for him, but what of other people?
Chelsy Davy has a new husband and baby, and has always refused to discuss her relationship with Harry.

Wouldn't it have been nice if he'd offered her the same courtesy?

 

[Prinsara]

The reason they got some sympathy after the Oprah interview is because they managed to relay those resentments towards the family without coming across as mean & vidictive. Harry came across as someone who still loved his family even though they were some issues & was struggling with the breakdown of those relationships.

Harry was only a walk-on sideshow in Oprah, remember? Perhaps if he'd had a bigger part we would have seen all of this then.

 

[Moran]

I've long thought that Harry and Meghan were on tabloid level indeed. How the mighty have fallen! From being considered peer to soldiers and princes, he went to being peer to the yellow press journalists.

 

[Ghost]

At the moment I dont believe Harry loves his father and brother. His actions dont show that at all. Like someone said above, we can love our relatives & still have some resentments. Thats not what I get from Harry at the moment, just pure hate.

The reason they got some sympathy after the Oprah interview is because they managed to relay those resentments towards the family without coming across as mean & vidictive. Harry came across as someone who still loved his family even though they were some issues & was struggling with the breakdown of those relationships.

What we have seen from the book leaks is a lot of unnecessary stories that come across as mean spirited. Even the words that are used. The irony is that the people that he is attacking are the ones that are coming off in a more sympathetic light. He claims that Charles was not made to be a single parent yet other stories he tells show that Charles was & is trying. Same with William, what I get is a brother that has always tried to protect him, even from himself.

I dont know that was the brief that the ghostwritter was given with this book but he has not done Harry (& by extension Meghan) any favours at all. Its either H&M were not taking advice & he had little imput or the publisher wanted to make sire they got what they paid for with no care of the PR mess this could be for Harry.

Nextflix & Spare will not change opinions of the strong supporters of either side. The more neutral observer is where the issue is for H&M. Thats were they have lost support.

I think the only reason they’ve got so much sympathy is that they’ve played the race card. Without it, every one of their grievances is petty and childlish. The only things that give them a platform is this idea that they are fighting a 1000 year old monarchy and the racism accusation.

 

[Moran]

The love he might have for Camilla will certainly not be anything as deep and meaningful as the love he has for his father and brother but she's made his father happy for years so when he previously said he loved her, I believed him.

Yes I do think he loves William because I know it's possible to love people at the same time as being very angry or resentful towards them over a long period of time.

I also know it's possible to stop loving people or just pretend you ever loved them.

 

[Curbside]

I think the only reason they’ve got so much sympathy is that they’ve played the race card. Without it, every one of their grievances is petty and childlish. The only things that give them a platform is this idea that they are fighting a 1000 year old monarchy and the racism accusation.

Saying "the race card" is extremely triggering for people of color. It has been used to shut down voices pointing out racism and bias.

I don't believe either of the Sussexes has used the word "racism" to describe members of the RF. Harry has pointed out the racism of the British press, which created a narrative around Meghan built on racist tropes.

 

[kimebear]

The story of the school matron, more than almost anything, shows what kind of person Harry truly is. To be so blind to your own intolerance towards certain people when you harp on it in others is simply unconscionable.

My deepest sympathy in all this goes to William. After slogging through these interviews, the book clip that Harry reads that got to me most was the one of William telling Harry that he loved him and wanted him to be happy. He swore it on their mother's life, which was a sacred phrase between the brothers.

I could feel William's anguish in those words. One of an older sibling who is desperate for his troubled little brother to come back into the fold, but Harry just casually dismisses it.

Unfortunately, with Harry estranged from his family and Meghan estranged from her father, the only parental influence they have in all of this to try to talk some sense into them is Doria. But if she is like many other protective mothers, she will firmly take H&M's side and support them if Meghan has relayed to her how much the BRF and British press has upset her to the point she contemplated suicide.

 

[Toledo]

...I dont know that was the brief that the ghostwriter was given with this book but he has not done Harry (& by extension Meghan) any favours at all. Its either H&M were not taking advice & he had little imput or the publisher wanted to make sire they got what they paid for with no care of the PR mess this could be for Harry.

Nextflix & Spare will not change opinions of the strong supporters of either side. The more neutral observer is where the issue is for H&M. Thats were they have lost support.

I have doubts it was the ghost writer's creativity that invoked a séance flooded with accusations, vague memories and so much anger from this grown man child toward his father, brother and sister-in-law.

Curious note: In the Spanish version the book Spare changed the title to En la Sombra’ which means In the Shadow. Had the editor translated Spare to Spanish it would have been Repuesto which has a double meaning as replacement spare wheel on a car you use on an emergency. Another translation for Spare could have been El Re-emplazo or The Replacement. But that implies Harry as an alternative to William and not a backup spare heir.

 

[Sunnystar]

Saying "the race card" is extremely triggering for people of color. It has been used to shut down voices pointing out racism and bias.



I don't believe either of the Sussexes has used the word "racism" to describe members of the RF. Harry has pointed out the racism of the British press, which created a narrative around Meghan built on racist tropes.

Then you are clearly ignoring the Oprah interview where they flat out called the BRF racist.

 

[Curbside]

Then you are clearly ignoring the Oprah interview where they flat out called the BRF racist.

They used the word "racist" in reference to the family? I heard them say one or more of the family speculated about Archie's skin color, but that isn't the same as being racist.

 

[Saragli]

You can see why Harry dislikes the tabloid press – but they didn’t cause Diana’s death

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news...bloid-press-but-they-didnt-cause-dianas-death

 

[soapstar]

Saying "the race card" is extremely triggering for people of color. It has been used to shut down voices pointing out racism and bias.

I don't believe either of the Sussexes has used the word "racism" to describe members of the RF. Harry has pointed out the racism of the British press, which created a narrative around Meghan built on racist tropes.

Meghan flat out said that Archie’s skin color was discussed in relation to his security and title. That is the very definition of racism. And when Oprah asked if race played a role in Archie not having a title, Meghan agreed.

I agree with you about using the word “race card.” As a Black woman, I’ve had that word thrown at me when I’ve pointed out racist, or bigoted comments.

 

[Ghost]

They used the word "racist" in reference to the family? I heard them say one or more of the family speculated about Archie's skin color, but that isn't the same as being racist.

Firstly, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was a trigger. Secondly, by the very fact that the next day Oprah said that she was assured by Harry and Meghan that the racist were not the Queen or Prince Philip she revalidated the accusation (I don’t remember the exact wording, it can be found). And lastly, let’s not fool ourselves, not using the word does not mean it was not implied. It’s their MO, I’ve seen it so many times, one immediate example is “I haven’t signed an NDA” or something like that in “The Cut” interview.
I very much respect your loyalty towards them. Personally, I lost any good opinion about Harry ever since the cheating at Eton. There are so many things that were added to the list of reasons I don’t respect, like him, I lost all hope of redemption for him. And Meghan? Only one word: Wimbledon. For me it was enough.

 

[Ista]

Meghan flat out said that Archie’s skin color was discussed in relation to his security and title. That is the very definition of racism. And when Oprah asked if race played a role in Archie not having a title, Meghan agreed.

In addition, just a month ago Harry and Meghan accepted an award for combating racism in the royal family. However you wish to interpret what was said outright, what was hinted at, and what was implied in the Oprah interview, the award, and their acceptance of it is a very clear statement, no matter how much Harry is trying to walk it back now.

 

[Baron Brockdorf]

Haven't been following these 2 much but I'll give my take on it since they're all over everywhere at the moment.
Now I'm sure there are reasons why they feel hurt, could stem from previous life events, the environment they were around, and even wrong doings suffered by them, could be even at the hands of the names they mention, all in all hurt is a common emotion that must be triggered by something and afterall the British Royal family is just as infamous as it is famous, not exactly known for its high standards.
However, this attitude of we have nothing to take account or ownership of is also exhausting and I can't foresee healing for them untill every party (every party meaning every part of the equation) acknowledges the role they played.
This whole we're an illuminating lighthouse spreading light and hope is incredibly nauseating as well and, their nagging about mostly frivolous and privileged items (not all of it) in this current climate is so out of touch and incredibly unrelatable.
Quite frankly I've gotten sick of Harry and Meghan.

 

[Moran]

"They went to the oldest institution in U.K. history and told them what they were doing wrong, that they couldn't have structural racism within the institution; that they could not maintain a misunderstanding about mental health," she continued, referring to the British monarchy. "They knew that if they did this there would be consequences, that they would be ostracized, they would lose their family, their position within this structure, and that people would blame them for it. They have done it anyway because they believed they couldn't live with themselves if they didn't question this authority. I think they have been heroic in taking this step."

Kerry Kennedy re: Harry and Meghan's award for fighting structural racism. It's clear that she equates the family with the institution. Harry and Meghan accepted the award, right? Accepted an award and the praise for losing their family because they were fighting structural racism.

But no, they never said the word racist, so it's fine?

 

[Curbside]

Meghan flat out said that Archie’s skin color was discussed in relation to his security and title. That is the very definition of racism. And when Oprah asked if race played a role in Archie not having a title, Meghan agreed.

I agree with you about using the word “race card.” As a Black woman, I’ve had that word thrown at me when I’ve pointed out racist, or bigoted comments.

When I was carrying my biracial daughter, my then-husband's female family members speculated about their skin color. I was shocked that they would say that, but ultimately concluded they weren't being racist per se. It had more to do with the fact that having a black family member was new and so they said something offensive without realizing they were doing so. This is the very definition of unconscious bias.

Harry does point out the racist tropes the British media projected on Meghan. The British tabloids would do everything they can to deflect the misogynoir tropes projected onto Meghan.

Firstly, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was a trigger. Secondly, by the very fact that the next day Oprah said that she was assured by Harry and Meghan that the racist were not the Queen or Prince Philip she revalidated the accusation (I don’t remember the exact wording, it can be found). And lastly, let’s not fool ourselves, not using the word does not mean it was not implied. It’s their MO, I’ve seen it so many times, one immediate example is “I haven’t signed an NDA” or something like that in “The Cut” interview.
I very much respect your loyalty towards them. Personally, I lost any good opinion about Harry ever since the cheating at Eton. There are so many things that were added to the list of reasons I don’t respect, like him, I lost all hope of redemption for him. And Meghan? Only one word: Wimbledon. For me it was enough.

I really don't have "loyalty" to M&H. I was at best a casual observer of the RF. I got up early to watch Diana and Fergie's weddings. I became interested when Meghan was joining the family and have followed their travails since before they were married. My children are biracial and like any parent, I do think of how they are accepted in the world at large.

I do think Harry and Meghan's story has been distorted over the years. Since I'm not a royalist, or a "republican," but I do have a journalism degree, I find it interesting how much the tabloid culture dominates the news in Britain. In the US, tabloids are something you see at the supermarket checkout. I wouldn't call US tabloids the opinion shapers the way British tabloids are.

The mental gymnastics that it takes to defend Meghan and Harry right now! A bad time for all his fans.
But how can you not realize that they have been playing with people's feelings just to gain some sympathy and sell their documentaries and interviews? According to them, the only episode of racism was linked to the title denied to Archie, when it was based on hierarchy, not skin colour. It's just marketing not racism.

Not at all. I think Harry and Meghan are pretty careful about the words they use, and I read the words themselves, avoiding tabloid interpretations of what they've said.

 

[ppetrica]

They used the word "racist" in reference to the family? I heard them say one or more of the family speculated about Archie's skin color, but that isn't the same as being racist.

A word can be described in number of ways with dozens of other words but without ever using that one word. That's the beauty and power of language.

H&M didn't use the word „racist“ while making that comment. They described the royal family as racist. And the internet exploded almost instantly. The royal family's been roasted for it for the past 3 years!

So 2 questions:
1. Why didn't H&M react and say what Harry just said yesterday as soon as the royals were branded as racists?
2. Why did they except that award they were given for fighting racism in the royal family?

We all know the answer – because it suited them. The moment they start thinking they can no longer exploit it, they change their story and pretend nothing ever happened. This strategy is well known to politicians.

 

[Magnolia471]

They used the word "racist" in reference to the family? I heard them say one or more of the family speculated about Archie's skin color, but that isn't the same as being racist.

The mental gymnastics that it takes to defend Meghan and Harry right now! A bad time for all his fans.
But how can you not realize that they have been playing with people's feelings just to gain some sympathy and sell their documentaries and interviews? According to them, the only episode of racism was linked to the title denied to Archie, when it was based on hierarchy, not skin colour. It's just marketing not racism.

 

[Mbruno]

The mental gymnastics that it takes to defend Meghan and Harry right now! A bad time for all his fans.
But how can you not realize that they have been playing with people's feelings just to gain some sympathy and sell their documentaries and interviews? According to them, the only episode of racism was linked to the title denied to Archie, when it was based on hierarchy, not skin colour. It's just marketing not racism.

Harry seems to change his discourse according to the audience. Race was mentioned in the Oprah and 60 Minutes interviews, which were aimed at an American audience mostly, and downplayed in the ITV interview, in which the audience was mostly British.

 

[soapstar]

When I was carrying my biracial daughter, my then-husband's female family members speculated about their skin color. I was shocked that they would say that, but ultimately concluded they weren't being racist per se. It had more to do with the fact that having a black family member was new and so they said something offensive without realizing they were doing so. This is the very definition of unconscious bias.

Harry does point out the racist tropes the British media projected on Meghan. The British tabloids would do everything they can to deflect the misogynoir tropes projected onto Meghan.

What Meghan described was not unconscious bias (I really dislike that term). It was racism. She said they refused to give her son a title and security because of his skin color. Harry can try and spin it all he likes, but they accused his family of being racist.

As for the British media and their treatment of Meghan, that has absolutely nothing to do with what Meghan and Harry accused his family of.

In addition, just a month ago Harry and Meghan accepted an award for combating racism in the royal family. However you wish to interpret what was said outright, what was hinted at, and what was implied in the Oprah interview, the award, and their acceptance, of it is a very clear statement, no matter how much Harry is trying to walk it back now.

Exactly. Also, Harry is trying to say that it was the British media that put words in their mouth. It wasn’t just the British media that was talking about that comment and calling the BRF out. It was the American media. It was folks on Twitter and other social media platforms. It sparked entire discussions about racism in the BRF and the UK.

If Harry and Meghan thought their words were being misconstrued, they could have easily put out a statement after the interview. Instead, he’s waited two years and is now pretending as if they never said it. He’s trying to gaslight everyone and this calls into question everything he’s ever said.

 

[Ghost]

Telegraph, Times, The Independent, BBC, ITV are hardly tabloids. Yet all these publications or media have criticised them since they left or at least since the book.
I wonder how do you interpret the facts. I mean, for example, Harry speaking about William’s private parts. Or her clearing about 40 seats at Wimbledon. And so on.

 

[Moran]

Not at all. I think Harry and Meghan are pretty careful about the words they use, and I read the words themselves, avoiding tabloid interpretations of what they've said.

I bet you don't always make your characters say outright everything, though. I'm sure you employ hints, double meaning, meaningful silence... Else, you'd be the first author I encounter who puts everything on the table and never uses anything but words said outright. Somehow, I doubt it.