"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Sionevar]

He was quite focused on assuring us that he's happy and in a good place now. That's not the read I got from the interview. He did not strike me as a happy man. He came across as obsessive to the point of being unwell.

There's a scene in a Harry Potter movie (OotP, I think), where Harry is in Dumbledore's office, but Dumbledore refuses to acknowledge him, and Harry screams 'Look at me!' at the top of his lungs.

That's what all this is to me. The Oprah chat, the Netflix show, the book, the interviews, everything. He desperately wants the BRF to look at him. Which I can sort of understand. But this is not the way to get that result.

 

[Lilyflo]

I found the interview frustrating because Bradby didn't interrogate Harry enough on the accusations that his family planted and leaked negative stories about him & Meghan to the press. Which stories and when? Are you saying categorically that your own father and brother deliberately collaborated with the press to trash you and your wife in order to benefit themselves?

 

[tommy100]

https://archive.ph/ZTbCx

Prince Harry has been in therapy for years, and Harry: The Interview made one thing clear: it hasn’t solved his anger issues.

“I’m in such a good headspace now. The reality is, I’ve never been happier,” he said at the end, but the programme told a different story. Furious, defensive and just plain sad, it was a difficult watch for those of us who had hoped that life in Montecito might bring Harry the peace he claims to crave.

To all the historic reasons for that anger, Harry can now add Tom Bradby, chosen by the Sussexes as a friendly face (it was Bradby who spoke to Meghan on the couple’s South Africa tour and asked her, kindly, if she was doing OK). Harry appeared to have turned up for this interview in the belief that Bradby would merely be a conduit for his grievances, a way to deliver them unfiltered to a British television audience.

But Bradby came with a journalist’s agenda and, politely, began to question what he was hearing. With every suggestion he made - that the Royal family will be reeling from the disclosures of their private conversations in Harry’s memoir, that Harry hadn’t so much burned his bridges as “taken a flamethrower to them” - the interview became testier. Harry’s face grew pinker.

 

[87SaminB]

I wanted to add my thoughts to others who have commented about Harry's remarks about Princess Margaret a bit earlier in this thread. I personally thought it unkind of him to have said this (as I feel generally about him writing the book) and as has been pointed out, her daughter Sarah Chatto, is Harry's godmother. After Diana's funeral, Princess Margaret wrote to the Queen to 'express my loving admiration of you, how you kindly arranged everyone's lives after the accident and made life tolerable for the two poor boys...there always in command was you, listening to everyone and deciding on all the issues...I just felt you were wonderful' this is quoted in William Shawcross's biography of the Queen Mother, 2010 edition, p911. The index for the books note that Margaret's letter was written on 14 September 1997-the letter is in the Royal Archives.


Christopher Warwick, Margaret's biographer wrote 'Anxious that 'the boys' as she called her great nephews should be given time and space in which to grieve, Princess Margaret wondered that anyone expect their immediate return to London when they were safe in the greater privacy of Balmoral'. He later quotes her as remarking 'Terrible to lose your mother at that age...and with little Harry's birthday only a few days away'. So perhaps she had more sympathy for Harry than might be assumed.

 

[moby]

Read that he said they never actually accused his family of racism—what?! Because of them and especially the Oprah interview, you occasionally see the horrid KKKate hashtag trending. It boggles the mind that people can still defend this delusional and massively entitled, lying man child. These days, I cringe at those times in the past I was taken in by Meghan, and I’d defend them from a friend (not a Royal follower, zero clue about royals) who saw the engagement interview and said, “ugh what bs!” I still defended them during the Africa interview when people started to see them for what they were. Now I’m just embarrassed for myself ��

 

[chelly]

Harry seems to complain alot. So he wants the palace to bend over backwards to correct
and comment on everything that was said about him and Meghan.


But when the press incorrectly saids the family is racist, (after he and meghan accuse them of it ) he does nothing.

And he is complaining about the apartment at Kensington Palace and parking. *rolls eyes*

from the pics i have seen of the rooms of that palace, they seem pretty decently sized. SO what he is he complaining about?

 

[Lilyflo]

From The Times:

The Duke of Sussex said the royal family was “complicit” in the pain and suffering experienced by his wife in her struggles with the British media.

However, in the first of a series of television interviews to publicise his memoir Spare, he also held out an olive branch by declaring that the royals were not racist, even if they were guilty of unconscious bias. He also said he would like to reconcile with his family, believing it could have “a ripple effect across the entire world”.
(...)
In a remark that may raise eyebrows, Harry said he would not talk about how his father or brother would react to the book. “What they have to say to me and what I have to say to them will be in private, and I hope it can stay that way,” he said.

Harry spent much of the interview criticising the media, and members of the royal family for getting “into bed with the Devil”.

The bit about hoping that conversations would remain private didn't just cause my eyebrows to rise, we exclaimed "What?" so loudly that the dogs jumped off the sofa!

 

[Erin9]

Did he really say Charles shouldn’t have been a parent because he’s impatient?!

 

[Lilyflo]

Did he really say Charles shouldn’t have been a parent because he’s impatient?!

He read an extract about his father from the book:
"He'd always given an air of not being quite ready for parenthood: the responsibilities, the patience, the time. Even he, though a proud man, would have admitted as much. But single-parenthood? Pa was never made for that. To be fair, he tried."

 

[Somebody]

They still think the world of themselves: reconciling (after creating this huge mess) would cause “a ripple effect across the entire world”.

While I agree it would be a massive achievement - especially from the side from the royal family who would need to be extremely forgiving (and Harry would need to change 180 degrees and start acknowledging HIS responsibility; as it almost impossible without) - I am not sure how it would impact 'the world'.

So far, it seems he truly does not understand any other point of view than his own. Maybe his godmother Lady Sarah is able to get through to him?!

 

[Erin9]

He read an extract about his father from the book:

"He'd always given an air of not being quite ready for parenthood: the responsibilities, the patience, the time. Even he, though a proud man, would have admitted as much. But single-parenthood? Pa was never made for that. To be fair, he tried."

Thanks. Gotta love the part where he decides what Charles would agree with.

 

[Durham]

I think someone needs to tell Kerry Kennedy that the Sussexes don't believe the rf is racist. Maybe she should ask for her award back.

Evidently it's all the press's fault that people think the rf is racist. Nothing to do with the Sussexes at all apparently!

 

[tausi]

https://archive.ph/ZTbCx

Prince Harry has been in therapy for years, and Harry: The Interview made one thing clear: it hasn’t solved his anger issues.

“I’m in such a good headspace now. The reality is, I’ve never been happier,” he said at the end, but the programme told a different story. Furious, defensive and just plain sad, it was a difficult watch for those of us who had hoped that life in Montecito might bring Harry the peace he claims to crave.

To all the historic reasons for that anger, Harry can now add Tom Bradby, chosen by the Sussexes as a friendly face (it was Bradby who spoke to Meghan on the couple’s South Africa tour and asked her, kindly, if she was doing OK). Harry appeared to have turned up for this interview in the belief that Bradby would merely be a conduit for his grievances, a way to deliver them unfiltered to a British television audience.

But Bradby came with a journalist’s agenda and, politely, began to question what he was hearing. With every suggestion he made - that the Royal family will be reeling from the disclosures of their private conversations in Harry’s memoir, that Harry hadn’t so much burned his bridges as “taken a flamethrower to them” - the interview became testier. Harry’s face grew pinker.

Waoh! Thanks for sharing this article. It seems Tom B. tried at least to question him. This part of the article is very interesting and I think it is inline with a lot of people's thoughts on his state of mind.

He seemed incredulous that someone was challenging his narrative. Bradby ventured that William might view the breakdown in the sibling relationship differently - “I think he would say he found you emotional, defensive, he couldn’t get through to you…” Harry glared at Bradby. “It’s quite a list of assumptions you’re making,” he seethed.

 

[FigTree]

I just saw a clip of the interview….Harry thinks the President and VP need to say something about mean tweets about Meghan…..the look on TB’s face when he says that…..

I keep thinking, I surely misheard.

You did. He said they would comment on stories that are unfair. The royals show no leadership in this regard.

 

[Curryong]

It can be both. The RF is not necessarily a place or lifestyle conducive to good mental health, and the people who leave or speak out are often the angriest, unhappiest, and not in the best places both by nature and palace nuture.

But what about Margaret? Decided to stay, vehemently loyal, and no one would accuse her of being fantastically right or healthy.

But Margaret was brought up with conservative values and was a different generation to Diana, Sara and to Harry. I would say from all I’ve read over at least fifty years that Margo was an unhappy woman for many reasons and was probably depressive at times. There were suggestions that at times she drank too much.

Yes, she was loyal to her sister and she stayed, the result of it always being emphasised by her father the King that the family of four was a cohesive unit, ‘we four.’ That’s hardly the way Harry was brought up.

However, who knows if she had been born the Queen’s daughter (say, born in the 1960s) rather than her sister, whether Margaret would have remained on the royal roster for life. And I have to say that I do not believe that either Charlotte or Louis will.

 

[87SaminB]

It can be both. The RF is not necessarily a place or lifestyle conducive to good mental health, and the people who leave or speak out are often the angriest, unhappiest, and not in the best places both by nature and palace nuture.

But what about Margaret? Decided to stay, vehemently loyal, and no one would accuse her of being fantastically right or healthy.

Apologies if this is off topic. You might like to watch this interview with Princess Margaret from 1995, which I find rather charming and includes a lovely bit where she talks about her realtionship with the Queen

It find it interesting that there a quite a few comments below the clip commenting on well they think Margaret comes across in the interview.

 

[Erin9]

You did. He said they would comment on stories that are unfair. The royals show no leadership in this regard.

Thanks. I deleted my post. I was confused.

 

[HRHHermione]

Just a reminder: Please keep it civil. Admonishing other posters does not contribute to the conversation.

 

[FigTree]

I think this interview is like everything else. It won’t change peoples opinions of Harry. I found the anger at being questioned about things interesting. And the almost antagonistic stance he has. Cannot bare the slightest bit of criticism but agrees things should be open for scrutiny. Just not him then. I kind of now believe everything I have heard about him. He reminds me of Andrew, and a Edward at times when he was younger too. Quite entitled. But maybe that’s not a surprise.

 

[Moonmaiden23]

The Queen's former Press Secretary has said she never briefed against other members of the Royal Family, never had knowledge of it and that the late Queen would never have sanctioned it. Given this seems to be a central claim of Harry's I think it is worth noting.

I'm pretty sure that HMQ was not the target of Harry's accusations.

My understanding is that he accused Charles, William and Camilla of planting stories.

 

[Hallo girl]

I am interested to find out if there are changes when he is interviewed for the American audiences.

 

[HRHHermione]

I am interested to find out if there are changes when he is interviewed for the American audiences.

I will be watching and I'm planning on taking notes and posting them. I'm interested to see that as well.

 

[Sunnystar]

I will be watching and I'm planning on taking notes and posting them. I'm interested to see that as well.

I'm on the west coast and can probably find an east coast CBS stream to watch - is it correct to presume that this interview will be in the last 20 min block of 60 Minutes?

ETA - just found a stream and the intro to the interview is just starting.

 

[yukari]

My conclusion at this point Harry either has selective memory or suffering short term memory loss. His recollections keep changing from time to time. Most of the time I find his (and Meghan's) definition of some words are significantly different than mine, such as "compassion", "happy", "hurting someone", "private/privacy". I wonder are they on a quest to re-define every word in English dictionary because that surely would cause "a ripple effect across the entire world” and make a huge "impact to the world". For one if understand correctly, "private" means after having a closed door conversation the nobody should ever share it to anybody else but I can tell the whole world on my term after that to get money.

But then again, I'm non-English native speaker so what do I know about English language, must be my fault and I've misunderstood the Sussexes. Okay folks, where can I get Sussexes' dictionary so I can understand how great they both are?

 

[Prinsara]

Since I mentioned seppuku the other day I feel a need to link to this. Language warning.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1611850205149757440

 

[yukari]

Since I mentioned seppuku the other day I feel a need to link to this. Language warning.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1611850205149757440

And now he tarnishes Kobayashi Masaki's classic and Eita.

 

[HRHHermione]

The interview opens with Anderson Cooper recapping the Sussex decision to leave, their decision to do their Netflix series. Cooper says that Spare is a stunning break with royal protocol, a revealing look at his fractured relationship with his family.

Cooper reads the part about William's resemblance to Diana and he says "that's pretty cutting. " Harry says he doesn't see it as cutting at all, because he loves his brother and there's been a lot of pain between the two of them. He says nothing he included is intended to hurt his family but it gives a full picture of the situation as it was when he was growing in

Harry says he wants to squash the idea that Meghan is the person who destroyed his relationship with William.

Cooper talks about how William and Harry lived separate lives despite publicity that showed otherwise, and Harry talks about how hurt he was that William didn't want to hang out with him when they were at Eton.

Harry says he felt guilt when Diana died because the public showed more emotion than he did. He says placing the flowers from people made him feel like a middle person for their grief.

Harry says he wanted to see photos of Diana's accident for proof she was in the car, proof she was injured, and proof the paparazzi were at fault. Harry said he believed his mother might still be alive until he was 23 years old and visited the tunnel where Diana died. Harry believes the paparazzi got away with contributing to her death. He talks about how he and William considered reopening the inquest, but when questioned if he'd want to reopen the inquest now, he hems and haws a bit. Harry ultimately concludes it wouldn’t change much.

Harry says his military career saved him by getting him out of the spotlight, focusing him on a purpose other than himself, and accomplishing his greatest accomplishments. He felt like he was turning his pain into a purpose. He said he didn't realize at the time he was living his life on adrenaline and that he had been since age 12. He said the war began for him at age 12 when his mom died and it was with himself and also anger at the press from that age. He said it was obvious even as kids they knew the British press made his mother miserable. He talks about drinking heavily and using drugs to escape. He talks about trying to make himself cry and not being able to. He would sometimes watch videos of Diana online to try to make himself cry. He talks about working with his therapist but also using psychedelics and he talks about how they were helpful to him as a medicine to work through his trauma.

He says he's found that happiness he was seeking with his wife in California but is far from at peace with the royal family

*First Commercial Break*

 

[TLLK]

Read that he said they never actually accused his family of racism—what?! Because of them and especially the Oprah interview, you occasionally see the horrid KKKate hashtag trending. It boggles the mind that people can still defend this delusional and massively entitled, lying man child. These days, I cringe at those times in the past I was taken in by Meghan, and I’d defend them from a friend (not a Royal follower, zero clue about royals) who saw the engagement interview and said, “ugh what bs!” I still defended them during the Africa interview when people started to see them for what they were. Now I’m just embarrassed for myself ��

So if they now state that they never actually accused that royal family of racism, then why did they receive the Ripple of Hope award?

 

[tommy100]

Is Anderson Cooper doing a good job or is it a wash out?

 

[Sunnystar]

10 minutes in and this is, for the most part, a very softball interview. It starts with Harry side-stepping his description of William from the book that started off The Guardian's excerpt, then dives into Diana's death - nothing mean or controversial about Charles or the RF in that portion. Then joining the Army - he states he was a perfect candidate for the military because he was damaged and in a state of shock still from Diana's death, which he didn't accept until he was 23, so fighting was a way of coping/dealing with the state of war he had been in since Aug 1997. Touches a bit on the alcohol and drug abuse, says he wouldn't recommend any of it for anyone to use recreationally.

Commercial break and we're back. More to come.