"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[HRHHermione]

To create clarity for the non native English speakers such as myself: is baby brain supposed to refer to the fact that you are so caught up with a new baby that you forget all sorts of things? Ergo, your brain can only think about the baby. Or is it to imply that your brain is the size of the brain of a baby, ergo meaning that you are stupid?

It generally refers to the changes in how you think associated with the hormonal changes of pregnancy and early parenthood. It’s something pregnant women often joke about with regard to themselves but is something most Americans wouldn’t say about another woman.

 

[Ghost]

https://www.thebookseller.com/news/...uardian-despite-stringent-pre-launch-security



So, who's leaking this? Buckingham Palace? Certainly not someone from the Sussexes side, right?

I think I read somewhere that BP didn’t get a copy in advance. Anyway, The Guardian, the Spanish bookstore blunder - it might be anything. Mu suspicious self would say it’s the publisher itself, to create drama and encourage the selling process.

 

[_Heather_]

Meghan is very insistent that people be sensitive to her feelings, so I fully expect her to be sensitive to others.

You hit the nail on the head here. These two love to bleat on about double standards but expecting everyone around you to be extremely sensitive to your feelings, put themselves in your place, think about how something they say or do will make you feel, etc. works both ways. If it's good enough to be given, it's good enough to give. If you expect it, you give it. Period. They seem to have forgotten this lesson if indeed it's one either of them ever learned.

I fully expect the RF to issue no statement at all. These two, but right now Harry in particular, are spoiling for a public showdown and appear to be attempting to bait the RF into one and I have no doubt that the RF has eyes and ears everywhere and are already seeing just how much eye-rolling these excerpts are soliciting. Barring something quite shocking and egregious coming out in the fully released version in a few days I think we'll likely see no comment at all or at most a version of "recollections may vary" and that'll be that.

 

[Ista]

To create clarity for the non native English speakers such as myself: is baby brain supposed to refer to the fact that you are so caught up with a new baby that you forget all sorts of things? Ergo, your brain can only think about the baby. Or is it to imply that your brain is the size of the brain of a baby, ergo meaning that you are stupid?

It's a dismissive way of referring to the fact that post partum women are undergoing hormonal changes that can affect their memory and their emotions. It can also refer to the sleep deprivation that is common when you have a newborn.

 

[Claire]

I think it suits the publisher to have these leaks, it creates an interest. Lets be honest the price was reducing all the time to generate pre sales.

Hit the nail on the head there - it should be noted the Penguin Random house was aware of the Guardians headline and didn't put on an fuss. There was also other leaks as the interview snips had not garnered the interest they had hoped for.

 

[Curbside]

Except for Harry's public statement with a dig about not being able to wear his uniform. Again, very entitled. Veterans are not allowed to wear uniforms at their grandmother's funerals and Harry was being treated like everyone else. He is okay with the hierarchy of the monarchy when it benefits him.

I wonder if he goes into that in the book.

I don’t recall him complaining about not wearing his uniform. I just googled and couldn’t find such a statement from him.

It generally refers to the changes in how you think associated with the hormonal changes of pregnancy and early parenthood. It’s something pregnant women often joke about with regard to themselves but is something most Americans wouldn’t say about another woman.

Right. It’s about the hormonal changes and sleep deprivation that comes from having a newborn. It can make a woman distracted and forgetful.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

To create clarity for the non native English speakers such as myself: is baby brain supposed to refer to the fact that you are so caught up with a new baby that you forget all sorts of things? Ergo, your brain can only think about the baby. Or is it to imply that your brain is the size of the brain of a baby, ergo meaning that you are stupid?

I'm sure there are several definitions. I have always taken baby brain to refer to not being able to think clearly because of hormones and lack of sleep, rather than the size of the brain.

 

[Hallo girl]

They are giving out that they cannot be trusted with private conversations which they will sell to the highest bidder at a later date.
Who would want to be part of their circle or do business with them, also the victim narrative, that they never do anything wrong., it is always the fault of others.

 

[Mbruno]

Bingo. I'm American, too. My children range in age from 12-17. I've heard the term "baby brain" countless times and even used it myself, to describe myself, as a mother of a newborn with a four year old and a five year old to handle. However, a friend and fellow mother jokingly and knowingly saying "oh my goodness, total baby brain moment" is far, far different than someone, particularly someone who was not yet a mother, using it dismissively and snidely to justify why I might be upset about something. That particular usage is spectacularly rude, dismissive, sexist, insulting, offensive, and unacceptable. And let's not forget, Meghan loves to use that "I'm a laid back American and it's a culture difference" excuse when justifying her perceived rudeness but left this out of the narrative entirely when sharing her version of events. That tells me that she knew just exactly how that would come across.

Whether it is a cultural misunderstanding or not, it is becoming increasingly believable to me that Meghan came across as rude, difficult and abrasive to the people she interacted with in the UK, be it Harry's family or staff. Harry is the only person who seems to blame it though on a "war on Meghan" or on a media campaign against his wife.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

I don’t recall him complaining about not wearing his uniform. I just googled and couldn’t find such a statement from him.

"Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex will wear a morning suit throughout events honouring his grandmother,” a spokesman for him said in a statement.

“His decade of military service is not determined by the uniform he wears and we respectfully ask that focus remain on the life and legacy of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II."

The second sentence is very passive-aggressive.

 

[Hallo girl]

I really hope the latest headline about taliban fighters is totally wrong, why is he talking like that. He has already claimed to be a target ( security argument ) because of his time in Afghanistan.

 

[Mbruno]

I really hope the latest headline about taliban fighters is totally wrong, why is he talking like that. He has already claimed to be a target ( security argument ) because of his time in Afghanistan.

So he brags about taking out 25 Taliban fighters like "chess pieces", but says he ran to the kitchen when his brother raised his voice on him and was terrified when he was called names at the Sandrigham summit? Maybe he is the type of man who only feels empowered behind a multi-million dollar Apache helicopter cockpit?

Maybe the headline is being quoted out of context, but, sorry, I couldn't help saying it.

 

[Claire]

How do you actually know that when you are in a helicopter or a ground unit? Either way what a horrid thing to gloat about?

 

[Curbside]

So according to Harry, the whole who made who cry thing started because Meghan told Kate that she must have “baby brains” due to the hormones. This makes Meghan look really bad and calls into question the answer she gave to Oprah about the whole incident.

This might not be the same dress-fitting incident.

 

[Curbside]

It's a dismissive way of referring to the fact that post partum women are undergoing hormonal changes that can affect their memory and their emotions. It can also refer to the sleep deprivation that is common when you have a newborn.

It can be dismissive, depending how it is said. It could be that it's used jokingly, but I wouldn't generally take it as an insult.

 

[Hallo girl]

The leaks are working because I am now tempted to buy the book, just to avoid misquotes and other peoples opinions on it.

 

[Erin9]

Bingo. I'm American, too. My children range in age from 12-17. I've heard the term "baby brain" countless times and even used it myself, to describe myself, as a mother of a newborn with a four year old and a five year old to handle. However, a friend and fellow mother jokingly and knowingly saying "oh my goodness, total baby brain moment" is far, far different than someone, particularly someone who was not yet a mother, using it dismissively and snidely to justify why I might be upset about something. That particular usage is spectacularly rude, dismissive, sexist, insulting, offensive, and unacceptable. And let's not forget, Meghan loves to use that "I'm a laid back American and it's a culture difference" excuse when justifying her perceived rudeness but left this out of the narrative entirely when sharing her version of events. That tells me that she knew just exactly how that would come across.

Indeed.



Something else just clicked. Meghan said she herself cried. Only her. The original version said Catherine did. There’s long been speculation that maybe both did. Who knows.

All Harry did by repeating what he says Meghan said is give additional credence to the original story imo- that Catherine cried.

Meghan also has made it clear she thinks people need to be sensitive to how they treat pregnant and new moms. Interesting in light of this.

 

[Curbside]

"Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex will wear a morning suit throughout events honouring his grandmother,” a spokesman for him said in a statement.

“His decade of military service is not determined by the uniform he wears and we respectfully ask that focus remain on the life and legacy of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II."

The second sentence is very passive-aggressive.

No it isn't. It's a hope that people stop talking about what he's wearing to the funeral, vs. paying respect to the Queen's legacy without the tabloid dramas.

 

[Kaye1850]

……That particular usage is spectacularly rude, dismissive, sexist, insulting, offensive, and unacceptable.…

This is a wonderful analysis; spectacular in fact.

 

[SirGyamfi1]

It can be dismissive, depending how it is said. It could be that it's used jokingly, but I wouldn't generally take it as an insult.

But here’s the thing, it’s not about YOU! It’s rude to say that to someone you don’t know that well who has just given birth.

 

[TLLK]

"Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex will wear a morning suit throughout events honouring his grandmother,” a spokesman for him said in a statement.

“His decade of military service is not determined by the uniform he wears and we respectfully ask that focus remain on the life and legacy of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II."

The second sentence is very passive-aggressive.

Thank you for sharing this US Royal Watcher. I did recall he'd issued a statement but couldn't recall the exact words.


It's a shame that he did have to word it in that fashion as it sounds rather petulant IMO.

But here’s the thing, it’s not about YOU! It’s rude to say that to someone you don’t know that well who has just given birth.

The Sussexes have a staggering lack of self-awareness in their interpersonal relationships.

 

[SirGyamfi1]

No it isn't. It's a hope that people stop talking about what he's wearing to the funeral, vs. paying respect to the Queen's legacy without the tabloid dramas.

He was the one making noise about not being able to wear his military outfit and the patronages (which were a gift from the Queen, btw). From the Sandringham summit, it was agreed that he would lose his honorary military honors and not get to wear it. You can’t have your cake and eat it. It’s passive aggressive because he was responding to reposts about the situation, just like they were being passive aggressive to BP about his “service is universal” statement.

 

[_Heather_]

"Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex will wear a morning suit throughout events honouring his grandmother,” a spokesman for him said in a statement.

“His decade of military service is not determined by the uniform he wears and we respectfully ask that focus remain on the life and legacy of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II."

The second sentence is very passive-aggressive.

Extremely. I'd say we can throw this right up there with the "we can all live a life of service" or "service is universal" line, however it was phrased, or the "doesn't own the word royal" bit.

 

[SirGyamfi1]

This is the Fail presenting a snippet from what may well be a bad English translation from Spanish. Goodness knows what is being presented as being in the book.

You calling it the fail doesn’t change the fact that the extract from Harry’s book was an unpleasant thing to say. So we should believe everything these two trot out and that was said from H&M wasn’t offensive? Please. I’m sure the DM can afford someone to accurately translate the text.

 

[_Heather_]

You calling it the fail doesn’t change the fact that the extract from Harry’s book was an unpleasant thing to say. So we should believe everything these two trot out and that was said from H&M wasn’t offensive? Please. I’m sure the DM can afford someone to accurately translate the text.

I fully expect this to be the biggest sticking point as conversation happens in all fields about this book and these interviews. Either we believe all of it, the good and the bad, or we believe none of it or we believe the pieces that appear to be most credible. All of this while understanding that these two have a distinct track record of being caught in lies and embellishments but that it's no secret that the RF and those employed by them have, at times, leaked stories to the press. Whether we like Meghan and Harry doesn't change whatever the truth is. While it might actually be true that Harry and William exchanged insults and even engaged in a shoving match or that Harry whimpered and retreated while big, bad, bully William shoved him into the dog's bowl, it might also be equally true that Meghan said something remarkably rude to Catherine and then got her dander up when called out on it and reprimanded. One story makes these two look like victims, the other makes at least one of them look like a rude and dismissive bully. But we don't get to, or at least we shouldn't, believe one and not the other just because it happens to be the story that favors our chosen side.

It's become clear just through watching this unfold here and on other forms of social media that Sussex supporters only want to believe the "shoved me into the dog bowl" story but want to go to great lengths to defend and justify the "baby brain" story and that just doesn't work when the stories are both coming directly from the mouths of the people involved. Now, I agree that hearing the other side of these stories from Catherine and William would certainly give us a much more even field of judgment and would, no doubt, leave us on the edge of our seats for days and weeks and even months. But we all know that isn't going to happen nor should it. But again, we don't get to only believe the complementary and victimized stories while dismissing out of hand the unpleasant and bullying stories.

 

[SirGyamfi1]

Extremely. I'd say we can throw this right up there with the "we can all live a life of service" or "service is universal" line, however it was phrased, or the "doesn't own the word royal" bit.

I thought of that as well. The passive aggressiveness is major thing they do in most of their projects from the podcasts, the cut article, Omid Scobie tweets, Oprah and Gayle, Harry’s interview with Hoda. You name it.

 

[Claire]

I come to the conclusion that this ghost writer is purposely ridiculing him now. I am looking at the Guardian - and that is the English copy and well - there is no way you can dress this up. Is this book a reputation suicide bid? I wasn't expecting Shakespeare but this is supposed to be a polished book here.

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

 

[Granada]

I'm seeing excerpts all over various British and American press, and it is worse than I feared, except I thought Camilla might come in for heavier fire, which I'm not seeing yet anyway. Charles, William and Kate just attacked and demeaned. So sad.

What I also find troubling is the mentioning of killing Taliban Members.
He quite dismissively doesn't even view them as People, but Chess Pieces that he removed from the board. Nor did it embarrass him, he says.

Yikes, why, WHY go there Harry ? These types are NOT ones you mess around with, almost bait ! You have Family to consider too.
For someone so concerned about Security, why would he even make a foolhardy statement like that.

Frankly I'm appalled at his cavilier attitude. Its dangerous in his naiveness.

 

[HRHHermione]

I come to the conclusion that this ghost writer is purposely ridiculing him now. I am looking at the Guardian - and that is the English copy and well - there is no way you can dress this up. Is this book a reputation suicide bid? I wasn't expecting Shakespeare but this is supposed to be a polished book here.

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

I was just reading this. I am so embarrassed for Prince Harry that he's done this to himself. If a tabloid had published that story, I'd have called it malicious rubbish invented purely to embarrass him.

He's spent his whole life discussing press intrusion, and now he's putting his own early sexual experiences into the press and public sphere? Something is seriously wrong with him.

 

[_Heather_]

I come to the conclusion that this ghost writer is purposely ridiculing him now. I am looking at the Guardian - and that is the English copy and well - there is no way you can dress this up. Is this book a reputation suicide bid? I wasn't expecting Shakespeare but this is supposed to be a polished book here.

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

This is the piece that has just left me absolutely flabbergasted. While the rest of it is unpleasant and even almost comically lacking in self-awareness, this is the part that I just couldn't have imagined reading even in my wildest dreams. My goodness. There's just nothing even remotely necessary to share about all of that with the possible exception of "I lost my virginity at 17 to an older woman and I have some regrets about the encounter" if, and that's a big if, he really felt the need to get that personal.