Marius Borg Høiby News & Current Events Part 1: December 2023 -

I'm sorry , I firmly believe in "innocent until proven guilty" , in this case however Marius has already PUBLICALY admitted his guilt on the initial charges . Ok the Norwegian system is not one I am familiar with , but Marius is obviously a danger not only to himself , but others . Previous therapy has not worked because he "did not take it seriously " . As I understand it , his lawyer is famed for defending "gangsters" , we are all entitled to good legal representation regardless of the charges . No problem there , prince andrew is now spending his time as a grandfather , and riding around Windsor , good lawyers , deep pockets . In the case of Marius, I simply do not understand , why is he happily travelling around , Italy , hunting lodges etc , not a care in the world , popping out to buy new furniture . Is it not only the NRF , but his father who are supporting him financially ? Why is a grown man of 27 , an admitted abuser of at least one woman , taker of hard drug's since his 20's , a serious , serious drinker , a dangerous driver , known associate of criminals , not at least in a secure therapy clinic ?

Yikes, what a complete and utter disaster. Although I will say, this Marius mess has led me to joining TheRoyalForum! So there's that.

In regard to the speculations about the Crown Prince Couple's parenting (my view is that while some speculations are reasonable, it is impossible to draw any definitive conclusions):

It is perhaps pertinent to recall that Crown Princess Mette-Marit in her 2017 open letter to the media stated that she had held Marius to different (stricter) standards of behavior than his younger siblings. Thus, those who have concluded that her parenting of Marius was lax should be even more concerned on that account in regards to Ingrid and Magnus, whom she has on her own account parented more permissively than Marius.

Tatiana Maria said:

In regard to the speculations about the Crown Prince Couple's parenting (my view is that while some speculations are reasonable, it is impossible to draw any definitive conclusions):

It is perhaps pertinent to recall that Crown Princess Mette-Marit in her 2017 open letter to the media stated that she had held Marius to different (stricter) standards of behavior than his younger siblings. Thus, those who have concluded that her parenting of Marius was lax should be even more concerned on that account in regards to Ingrid and Magnus, whom she has on her own account parented more permissively than Marius.

"The role [of Marius] has also proved difficult to interpret for people around us in private. Ever since he was tiny. Everything from parents who have come with concerns and well-intentioned advice to teachers who have always had different expectations of Marius for his behavior than of others.​

And I'm no better myself. As a mother I often have expectations of Marius for his behavior that are unrealistic, and different than what I would have had of his siblings."​

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Marius 20 år

Åpent brev fra H.K.H. Kronprinsessen i anledning Marius' 20-årsdag.

www.kongehuset.no

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As for Crown Prince Haakon, he spoke in his 50th birthday book about feeling self-conscious about journalists witnessing rather ordinary events in his parenting of Marius, so it seems doubtful that his parenting style was unorthodox or that he is unaware of normal expectations (and for his sake, one hopes he has developed a thicker skin since then).​

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"Once Marius was three years old, we permanently moved in together. Suddenly Mette had to go do something [?], and there were he and I. He was three and started acting up somewhere. I became uncertain, people stared and probably thought: "That boy doesn't want to be with the crown prince!" But I loved being with Marius."​

"I remember an Easter in Sikkilsdalen. We had taken part in the traditional Easter race at Setra. Mette had gone back to the cabin, I was outside with Marius, then he became acutely tired and very unhappy. He laid down and did not want to leave - while the journalists stood filming and taking pictures. Okay, what would the experts do? Well, I solved it my way: "If you come home now, you'll get lots of candy." The journalists heard that. Not my proudest moment."​

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Slik er hans forhold til Marius Borg Høiby

I boken som ble gitt ut om han i fjor, forteller kronprins Haakon åpent om hvordan det er å være bonuspappa til Marius Borg Høiby.

www.klikk.no

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I'm sorry , but "stricter standards " , Marius has been allowed to host convicted criminals at Skaagum , allowed to take illegal drugs , brushed off the attempted selling of silverware , and frankly IMO the attempted murder of a member of the Norwegian armed forces charged with protecting the NRF . If these are the "stricter standards ", MM has held Marius to , well God help the NRF and Norway . To correct myself , MM did not actually say stricter . just different . It's only Marius , thus far ,who has become a drug / alcohol / gangster / abuser under her and the NRF,s loving care . God help Norway to keep her other children from following their " fun , inspirational brother .

That letter has come back to bite her as it reads to me more like she was just trying to throw them off Marius’ scent. Haakon - that was probably too much reality for a Friday night…how old was he anyway?

Nothing is conclusive at all, and the issues are a lot more understandable than the way they were handled then and now. I’m really flabbergasted by the dereliction of responsibility and duty here.

kalnel said:

I agree with the idea that the CP couple should have taken steps to deal with Marius, but it sounds to me like they have been trying. After all, Marius himself says he has been to rehab in the past, so they must have confronted him about this previously and tried to get him help.

For all we know, perhaps the reason he has been living at Skaugum was their (failed) attempt to keep him a little closer and, hopefully, out of harm's way.

The fact that MM called one of the victims suggests that they are involved with Marius's life and know his friends. That could be a very concerning thing, since some of his friends allegedly are criminals, but it is a sign that they are engaged with him. (Her call still strikes me as a terrible lapse in judgment, but it's consistent with her other lapses in judgment.)

I'm not concerned about the supposed incident with the guard, since that comes from Marius, who would not be a very credible reporter in my mind. It doesn't take a big leap to imagine him blowing this up to try to seem cool.

The story about the gas card is concerning, because it shows that really bad people are moving freely around the CP family home. The fact that it went undetected for a year isn't surprising, since it could be a card that many have access to. But, we don't know what steps, if any, Haakon or his household manager took once they uncovered the incident.

There's a lot to criticize in terms of how they have or haven't reacted so far, but unless they speak out, we won't know their perspective. (And, I'd still be advising them to remain silent until the whole thing is wrapped up in court.)

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do we know what mm call was about?

Reputation expert (sociologist/lecturer at Kristiania University College) Trond Blindheim says: Marius' case, full of violence, cocaine and damage creates huge negative headlines. The NRF doesn't understand the extent of the negativity in the people. No matter where they are and what they visit the press is only interested in getting answers about the Marius case. Most people are shocked by what many believe is a lack of equality in front of the law. The NRF has known about his life with criminal friends and cocaine, without having caught on. (..)

We'll see what happens next week at the Finnish state visit, if the press shouts questions about Marius.

Tatiana Maria said:

It is perhaps pertinent to recall that Crown Princess Mette-Marit in her 2017 open letter to the media stated that she had held Marius to different (stricter) standards of behavior than his younger siblings. Thus, those who have concluded that her parenting of Marius was lax should be even more concerned on that account in regards to Ingrid and Magnus, whom she has on her own account parented more permissively than Marius.

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There’s technically nothing in Mette-Marit’s passage saying she was “stricter” with Marius, just that she found herself with unrealistic expectations of him that were different (for no explained reason) than those of his siblings.

Those “unrealistic expectations” could easily be standards for his siblings or peers that Marius couldn’t reach. PR-speak is malleable by nature.

Prinsara said:

There’s technically nothing in Mette-Marit’s passage saying she was “stricter” with Marius, just that she found herself with unrealistic expectations of him that were different (for no explained reason) than those of his siblings.

Those “unrealistic expectations” could easily be standards for his siblings or peers that Marius couldn’t reach.

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That's the way I took it as well.

Tatiana Maria said:

CP Haakon: Well, I solved it my way: "If you come home now, you'll get lots of candy." The journalists heard that. Not my proudest moment."

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Additionally, hopefully Haakon did not continue parenting like that for the next twenty-odd years (probably not, since he knows it was the wrong thing to do), but it is funny.

Poor man.

I don't see how "different" standards needs to be interpreted as "stricter" standards. Different is different. Marius is not in the line of succession. Mette's two younger children are. That alone would imply that standards are different.

The Norwegian press is losing its collective mind over this issue before all the facts are known and before it is fully played out. Marius is a troubled man who has engaged in criminal behaviour for which he will be held to account by the courts. Maybe the Crown Prince and Princess made mistakes in parenting, but he is an adult now and fully accountable, as long as he is not so mentally ill that he is not criminally responsible. The press loves a juicy story, and they love to see people of privilege mess up. The King is not responsible for Marius' behaviour. As a family member, Marius may be loved, even if his behaviour is considered abhorrent and completely unacceptable to that same family. The guy is messed up but that doesn't necessarily mean the NRF is messed up.

The letters to the public and media from Mette Marit that people mention - how long ago was the most recent one?

If it’s been more than a couple of years, well, I assume Marius’s behaviours started sometime in adolescence and escalated over time. I don’t think MM publicly complaining about how the press treated Marius sounds like the best way to address things, but if Marius was younger when she so, then the issues in question may not have been nearly as bad as what they’ve become. A parent wanting privacy for her messed up kid is different than the same parent trying to cover up criminal or violent behavior.

I think there are some problems that are private, and even public families should be able to deal with them (effectively or not) without the press getting involved. There was no true need for the public to have been informed if Marius had issues with drugs or alcohol in his late teens and early 20s, and he was spoiled and spent more time partying than working. Especially since he was never going to be expected to play an official role in the Norwegian RF. Mette Marit wanting privacy and making excuses under those circumstances is understandable. Similarly, if the Norwegian press knew about some of these issues years ago I think they did the correct thing in not reporting on them, once again provided they weren’t looking the other way on things like assault.

camelot23ca said:

Similarly, if the Norwegian press knew about some of these issues years ago I think they did the correct thing in not reporting on them, once again provided they weren’t looking the other way on things like assault.

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I mostly agree, but there’s currently the question of how actively involved he was in distributing drugs, not just recreational use — and when that started.

That’s equally something that can’t be waved away.

camelot23ca said:

The letters to the public and media from Mette Marit that people mention - how long ago was the most recent one?

If it’s been more than a couple of years, well, I assume Marius’s behaviours started sometime in adolescence and escalated over time. I don’t think MM publicly complaining about how the press treated Marius sounds like the best way to address things, but if Marius was younger when she so, then the issues in question may not have been nearly as bad as what they’ve become. A parent wanting privacy for her messed up kid is different than the same parent trying to cover up criminal or violent behavior.

I think there are some problems that are private, and even public families should be able to deal with them (effectively or not) without the press getting involved. There was no true need for the public to have been informed if Marius had issues with drugs or alcohol in his late teens and early 20s, and he was spoiled and spent more time partying than working. Especially since he was never going to be expected to play an official role in the Norwegian RF. Mette Marit wanting privacy and making excuses under those circumstances is understandable. Similarly, if the Norwegian press knew about some of these issues years ago I think they did the correct thing in not reporting on them, once again provided they weren’t looking the other way on things like assault.

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With today's announcement that Mette-Marit is stepping back from duties to get lung treatment, she probably won't be in a situation where she has to answer any media questions about Marius for a while -- maybe even until after a trial.

Agreed with the other comments, there are two different issues with Marius: addiction and being violent. The first doesn’t excuse the second. And agreed, it is not the parents fault.

But can it be proved? He is innocent unless proven guilty.

Marius has already admitted to abusing his girlfriends. Am we imagining that? While everyone is busy protecting him, who’s looking after the wellbeing of his victims?

Logically everyone knows his behavior is not the fault of his parents. But if he’s been “acting up” for a long time or have mental illness or they’ve had endless conversations with him, why wasn’t this turned over to a correction professional?

He is troubled. He was predisposed. I will roll with those arguments, but what I find more concerning is the inaction or the inability to make decisions and find solutions to the issues before people get hurt.

I’ve said in my very first post here that I felt sorry for Mette-Marit and I still do. Especially since her condition has worsened. However, sympathy, understanding, compassion or not, the NRF has a big problem so who’s responsible for that part?

Obviously I hope MM benefits from her new round of treatment . It was made clear in the original announcement that her condition was life limiting and would greatly impact on her ability to carry out official duties . A devastating blow to her family . As to Marius , I'm sorry but yes his behaviour is the responsibility of his parent's and step parent's and their enabling action's . The facts speak for themselves , rampant hard drug / drink abuse documented from his 20's , associating with criminals in Skaugum , thefts of royal property , attempted murder of a serving member of the Norwegian armed forces charged with protecting the CP couples estate , admitting to physically / mentally abusing his partner , his stated belief that nothing he did would ever be mentioned in any press . Marius himself stated that he had been in therapy , so yes his family tried that route , but frankly if you know you are never going to face any consequences , why would you take it seriously . He did not . MM taking him out to shop for new furniture was not a good look . This is a very troubled grown man , not a boy . The NRF , CP couple need to acknowledge facts , re group and stand up for Norway and its people .

Every criminal or abuser has parents but when the criminal/abuser is grown up/ legally adult , he/she becomes 100% responsible for their actions. Full stop.

sunflowers said:

Every criminal or abuser has parents but when the criminal/abuser is grown up/ legally adult , he/she becomes 100% responsible for their actions. Full stop.

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You’re right legally it is indeed full stop, but it’s not as simple as that I’m afraid. Those other criminals or abusers don’t have the benefit or the privilege of parents shielding them from consequences of their actions. There are those who do, but that’s a miscarriage of justice. We are discussing what could have been the cause and what was done or not done to prevent the current situation.

fabaunty said:

Obviously I hope MM benefits from her new round of treatment . It was made clear in the original announcement that her condition was life limiting and would greatly impact on her ability to carry out official duties . A devastating blow to her family . As to Marius , I'm sorry but yes his behaviour is the responsibility of his parent's and step parent's and their enabling action's . The facts speak for themselves , rampant hard drug / drink abuse documented from his 20's , associating with criminals in Skaugum , thefts of royal property , attempted murder of a serving member of the Norwegian armed forces charged with protecting the CP couples estate , admitting to physically / mentally abusing his partner , his stated belief that nothing he did would ever be mentioned in any press . Marius himself stated that he had been in therapy , so yes his family tried that route , but frankly if you know you are never going to face any consequences , why would you take it seriously . He did not . MM taking him out to shop for new furniture was not a good look . This is a very troubled grown man , not a boy . The NRF , CP couple need to acknowledge facts , re group and stand up for Norway and its people .

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I don't disagree with most of your points, but what would the CP couple even say?

If they comment on anything about Marius now, I imagine it could become relevant in his court case, so that's impossible.

They're not going to make public references to the victims, since they've already come under fire for MM calling one of them.

They're not going to spell out what they've done for Marius over the years, as that would be a breach of privacy, opening the door to them discussing all kinds of private matters.

They're not going to call themselves bad parents, because, well, why would they? If they've done all they believe they can do, I'm sure they don't view themselves that way.

They're not going to discuss criminals at Skaugum, since that would draw more attention to MM's past associations.

They're not going to discuss security issues, because that would create new security problems.

They're not going to criticize the police or any government agency for its handling of Marius, since that would veer into politics.

They're not going to criticize the media, because that would only enflame media coverage.

So, that leaves saying nothing. And, given MM's retreat from public life because of illness, that's certainly the way they plan to go.

That's really all they can do.

We don't know what was done or not done. At this stage, the parents and family are not responsible. There is no evidence of any cover-up beyond what many a parent would do for an offspring. Many wealthy people/people of privilege become addicted, ill, or violent, and the appropriate authorities should know how to act. If the health care system or the justice system failed in their mandate, that is another matter. Marius must soon be brought to justice or receive treatment or both.

kalnel said:

I don't disagree with most of your points, but what would the CP couple even say?

If they comment on anything about Marius now, I imagine it could become relevant in his court case, so that's impossible.

They're not going to make public references to the victims, since they've already come under fire for MM calling one of them.

They're not going to spell out what they've done for Marius over the years, as that would be a breach of privacy, opening the door to them discussing all kinds of private matters.

They're not going to call themselves bad parents, because, well, why would they? If they've done all they believe they can do, I'm sure they don't view themselves that way.

They're not going to discuss criminals at Skaugum, since that would draw more attention to MM's past associations.

They're not going to discuss security issues, because that would create new security problems.

They're not going to criticize the police or any government agency for its handling of Marius, since that would veer into politics.

They're not going to criticize the media, because that would only enflame media coverage.

So, that leaves saying nothing. And, given MM's retreat from public life because of illness, that's certainly the way they plan to go.

That's really all they can do.

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Obviously I agree that they cannot comment on an ongoing criminal case , no argument there . I would certainly never call them 'bad parents', or expect them to label themselves as such . After all they have two other almost adult children . They have tried therapy , by Marius's own admission . I doubt it was only a one time effort . MM's past associations were highly publicised before her marriage , she famously gave a tearful candid interview about her past actions . A line was drawn under her past , I would never hold her behaviour before she had Marius against her . As to security , well at Skagumn , obviously Marius has seriously compromised it , and I'm , sorry but MM and Haakon could not have been in the dark . As to media , well MM has history there , slightly different this time as a criminal investigation is ,[ at a snail's pace , considering that Marius has already admitted his guilt }, ongoing . He firmly believed that as far as the media was concerned he had a free pass , as did those he associated with . I truly hope that the added stress on the Crown Princess's health , due to the fact that his behaviour has finally been made public can be mitigated by Marius finally growing up , and realising his behaviour is detrimental not only to his future , but also to his undoubtedly loved Mother's health .

fabaunty said:

Obviously I agree that they cannot comment on an ongoing criminal case , no argument there . I would certainly never call them 'bad parents', or expect them to label themselves as such . After all they have two other almost adult children . They have tried therapy , by Marius's own admission . I doubt it was only a one time effort . MM's past associations were highly publicised before her marriage , she famously gave a tearful candid interview about her past actions . A line was drawn under her past , I would never hold her behaviour before she had Marius against her . As to security , well at Skagumn , obviously Marius has seriously compromised it , and I'm , sorry but MM and Haakon could not have been in the dark . As to media , well MM has history there , slightly different this time as a criminal investigation is ,[ at a snail's pace , considering that Marius has already admitted his guilt }, ongoing . He firmly believed that as far as the media was concerned he had a free pass , as did those he associated with . I truly hope that the added stress on the Crown Princess's health , due to the fact that his behaviour has finally been made public can be mitigated by Marius finally growing up , and realising his behaviour is detrimental not only to his future , but also to his undoubtedly loved Mother's health .

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Exactly. Which doesn't leave them room to say anything right now.

Should they do what virtually NO parents would do? Call the authorities and say “He’s here, he’s guilty/crazy; come and get him?” I admire their restraint.

ladongas said:

Should they do what virtually NO parents would do? Call the authorities and say “He’s here, he’s guilty/crazy; come and get him?” I admire their restraint.

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Basically: Yes.

They are not normal parents. They have options but also responsibilities beyond that of normal parents.
The NRF had the option of having Marius committed by force. Don't believe for a second they couldn't if they really wanted to, especially after asking for help/advise by the government.
They could have police officers or private security following Marius around, with an OK to interfere when needed. - If Marius wasn't happy about that, well he could always move out of Skaugum, get a job and... Oh, wait...
They could move him with a small team of specialists to a cabin on an island in the general vicinity of Lofoten and treat him there.
They could set up a police guard outside Skaugum and vet Marius visitors. - National security and all that.
They could take away his car, I doubt he could pay for one himself.
Or let him lose his drivers license. Shouldn't be a problem! He could then bicycle to Oslo, wouldn't be as cool though.
Cut his allowance.
Kick him out of Skaugum.
- The point is, which has been made repeatedly, that the NRF in general and the CP-Couple in particular had a range of options that normal parents wouldn't have. But they chose to do basically nothing. They forgave and indulged Marius at any opportunity.
How in the name of the Holy Teapot, could Marius deserve a lengthy vacation to Italy? A cabin in the mountains wasn't good enough? And who paid for it?
He's a confessed drug user with an alcohol issue, as well as anger-problems and he almost ran over a guard. Yet, he still has a car. Who pays for it? Who pays for taxes and insurance? It probably ain't Marius. - Why can't he take a taxi? Or walk? How come he still deserves to to drive a car?
He was recently seen with mother buying furnitures? A good guess could be that he trashed his home and furnitures once again. Well, he can go buy his own furnitures, right? Or get some in a second hand store? Or sit on boxes and sleep on a mattress on the floor. - And who pays for these furnitures? Marius? Yeah right.

So, where are the consequences?
If you are a normal Norwegian and you thrash your home. You get kicked out.
If you destroy your own furnitures. Too bad if you can't afford new ones.
If you DUI, you lose your license. No more driving for you.
If you hang out with hardcore criminals, the police will likely sniff around your pace 24/7.
If you are under investigation for a number of pretty serious crimes. You don't go on holiday abroad. Not if you want to convince anyone about how repentant you are.
If you do something criminal you'd likely end up in a police cell, so fast your feet won't touch the ground.
If you and your criminal friends raid your parents home, don't expect to get any more money from them.
If you are a normal Norwegian and you don't have a job, you have no money either. Welfare ain't that much and it comes with conditions, like not leaving Norway while looking for a job or being required to show up for meetings at the job-center and being send out to do some work - while still on only welfare. Because I somehow doubt Marius can possibly qualify for unemployment benefit. As in qualify at all.
- All that are the consequences a normal Norwegian would face. But not Marius. Not funny, lively, caring Marius.

That irks me. And it is my clear impression that it seriously irks a lot of Norwegians as well.

ladongas said:

Should they do what virtually NO parents would do? Call the authorities and say “He’s here, he’s guilty/crazy; come and get him?” I admire their restraint.

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They are not showing ' restraint ' , They , especially MM are , as , they have done over at least the past decade continuing , enabling his criminal destructive behaviour . Their tactics / attempts at guiding Marius on a less self destructive path have proved useless . MM's evident guilt at the , [in her own imagination] , position her marriage to Haakon placed Marius in has seen him grow into an entitled , addicted , abusive , individual , free from any financial / legal / public / press restraints any " normal " adult individual would be under . I fully accept that Marius has had an unusual path to adulthood compared to most 27yr olds , but he is an adult , its time MM stopped feeling guilty , especially considering her serious health issues , and grew up , pretending all is well , holidays in Italy , stays in hunting lodges a shopping trip to buy new furniture !!!! no . We all know who paid the bill . No I'm not Norwegian , but in GB our royal family have had to make painful decisions , prince andrew & prince harry . No public comment apart from a brief press announcement . Everyone understanding the families position , despite how painful it was in private . My heart goes out to not only the King and Queen , but especially to Marius's victims .

Two thoughts: with the exception of the pictures from Italy, we obviously don’t know what he is actually doing - the “shopping trip” pix may not be contemporaneous. He seems to have been more or less invisible. Perhaps he has turned state’s evidence and is cooperating with police to ‘roll up’ the gang of criminals. That would be a smart move and would require him to remain out of sight.

Oh, and ‘innocent unless proven guilty’. He may have had more privileges and opportunities that the average lout (!), but he doesn’t have fewer rights.

ladongas said:

Perhaps he has turned state’s evidence and is cooperating with police to ‘roll up’ the gang of criminals. That would be a smart move and would require him to remain out of sight.

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Immunity for Marius will not look good at this point, even if he’s fully aiding the police to round up his “friends”, I fear. He’s become too publicly unsympathetic.

And while he does indeed retain his legal rights, he’s publicly confessed to violence against a partner, vandalism, and illegal drug use, and all of that should hold up in court.

No he doesn’t because he has more. If it were anyone else, evidence would have been gathered, the girlfriends would have been questioned, and investigations would have begun or wrapped while the defendant would have waited his judgement under strict supervision or in jail. I don’t have any issue with the fact that he has more privileges than most, he didn’t ask for it and it wasn’t his choice, but to say some are not being fair or overreacting is making light of the victims experience, in my opinion.