"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[FigTree]

I get the impression that it was a both. I know when I was going through something similar with my SIL, I could not believe I was having an argument/discussion over the flower girl dress. I planned my own wedding and I couldn't understand why my SIL wanted to argue about the dress her daughter would wear. I finally had to tell her that I wasn't going to argue about it anymore.

Catherine is an extremely put-together, regal figure, and I imagine she must have seemed intimidating to Meghan (I know I'd be intimidated).

Apparently she’s not. She’s very nervous and shy.

But yeah people loose it over weddings and everyone is only concerned with their bit.

The dresses were badly fitted. Meghan’s too. But they she seems to like clothes too big for her.

 

[Prinsara]

Harry just wants all the good stuff about being royal without any of the responsibility. I’d have more respect if he just said that.

Speaking of the past not being dead, I'd have more respect for him if he learned anything about Uncle David. Anything at all. Up to and including the way he used to use F-bombs writing to his married girlfriend to describe both his childhood home and "the rest of the world".

 

[tommy100]

Shocking news for all, someone planning a wedding and someone who had just had a baby both got upset over a seemingly trivial matter. I'm sure that has never happened before

 

[Prinsara]

I've done the same thing with my books!

Claimed to be enlightened and that people need to be more aware and then not realize you quoted a huge racist and defender of segregation?

 

[kimebear]

I don't think the King is being cowardly, I think the Queen died only five months ago and we are still in the mourning period. He created William and the Prince of Wales to reflect his new status. Any other decisions, including the Sussex children's titles, can wait until the coronation. There is no emergency here. As Harry said "what difference does it make?"

There was no hurry to create William Prince of Wales either, but Charles did it almost immediately. It's the Duke of Cornwall title, which is automatic, that has most of the heir responsibilities attached to it, so the Prince of Wales elevation could have waited as well.

Charles acting so quickly for William, but leaving the titles for Edward and Harry's children up in the wind is not a good look for him. He must know that denying them the titles they were expecting isn't going to go over well with many people (especially when it comes to Edward and Sophie) and it's the inevitable drop in approval for him more than anything else that's staying his hand. It's cowardly.

 

[Curryong]

As I’m in Australia and it’s now the morning of the 10th of Jan I received my pre-ordered copy of ‘Spare’ on my Kindle at about 1 AM. Yippee!

I was too tired to read much of it earlier, but am going to take my time wending my way through it today. I’ve already read about Harry’s meeting with his father and brother after Prince Philip’s funeral and about Harry’s Ludgrove schooldays.

I have to say I commend the beautiful writing of Harry’s ghostwriter. Now to get stuck into the nitty gritty without the benefit of bad translations from Spanish or the distorted lens of the cherry picking British media.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

There was no hurry to create William Prince of Wales either, but Charles did it almost immediately. It's the Duke of Cornwall title, which is automatic, that has most of the heir responsibilities attached to it, so the Prince of Wales elevation could have waited as well.

Charles acting so quickly for William, but leaving the titles for Edward and Harry's children up in the wind is not a good look for him. He must know that denying them the titles they were expecting isn't going to go over well with many people (especially when it comes to Edward and Sophie) and it's the inevitable drop in approval for him more than anything else that's staying his hand. It's cowardly.

William is the new heir and will be representing his country with many dignitaries all around the world. There was a major reception before the Queen's funeral. The Prince of Wales title adds gravitas and prestige, which serves the UK and the Commonwealth. It is not a vanity issue, like it is with Harry and Meghan.

 

[Moran]

Out of all gems coming out of Harry's oh so enlightened mouth, I think I like best his touching eagerness to apologize, if only family tells him what his and his perfect wife did wrong.

When William told him what Meghan did wrong, Harry started immediately claiming bias and attacks against Meghan.

Yeah, eager to apologize. When Tom Bradby politely suggested that he might not be as saintly as he thinks himself, Harry looked at is he was ready to sent him to the Tower if only they lived in the good old days.

But he and Meghan were always ready to apologize. For real.

 

[kimebear]

William is the new heir and will be representing his country with many dignitaries all around the world. There was a major reception before the Queen's funeral. The Prince of Wales title adds gravitas and prestige, which serves the UK and the Commonwealth. It is not a vanity issue, like it is with Harry and Meghan.

For years, Camilla represented the country as the Duchess of Cornwall just fine. It's not as if the people that William meets don't know that he's the heir to the throne, even if he were to be called William Windsor.

 

[Ista]

This is not the place for a discussion of the King's plans for the monarchy unless it directly relates to the book we are supposed to be discussing, so let's move on.

In addition, short posts which add nothing to the discussion, according to the forum posting rules, are considered "empty posts" and may be removed.

 

[King of the Jungle]

It's very silly of Harry to dwell on and repeat the bridesmaid dress story.
It is not respectful to either woman.
Clearly Meghan was at a stressful low due to her father and the wedding being so close. Her texts are sharp. Kate trying to solve the dress being too big (which was her duty as Charlotte couldn't do it) was an added frustration at the same time. The dress ended up being sorted.
How could Kate have known of Meghan's tears when they were in different houses? I think Kate sensed Meghan's wedding exhaustion and disappointment over her father and so sent flowers as a gesture of goodwill, acknowledging that everything was happening at once.
I don't see either woman being owed an apology. Harry should have trusted his first instincts that Kate wouldn't mean to cause harm. He shows himself to be now very petty. Is he suffering an illness or paranoia?

 

[FigTree]

It's very silly of Harry to dwell on and repeat the bridesmaid dress story.
It is not respectful to either woman.
Clearly Meghan was at a stressful low due to her father and the wedding being so close. Her texts are sharp. Kate trying to solve the dress being too big (which was her duty as Charlotte couldn't do it) was an added frustration at the same time. The dress ended up being sorted.
How could Kate have known of Meghan's tears when they were in different houses? I think Kate sensed Meghan's wedding exhaustion and disappointment over her father and so sent flowers as a gesture of goodwill, acknowledging that everything was happening at once.
I don't see either woman being owed an apology. Harry should have trusted his first instincts that Kate wouldn't mean to cause harm. He shows himself to be now very petty. Is he suffering an illness or paranoia?

The dresses weren’t really fixed. They weren’t fitted right on the girls.

 

[TLLK]

Going a bit off topic, but the Sussexes currently have something more pressing to deal with than Spare and the interviews. The entire Montecito community along with other sensitive areas of Santa Barbara Co. are under an evacuation order due to the threat of mudslides. The region's vegetation that holds the ground in place has still not grown back from the 2017 wildfires. Good luck to all in this affected area.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1612556977464393734

IMMEDIATE EVACUATION ORDER issued to the ENTIRE MONTECITO COMMUNITY. Includes all 15 zones of the Montecito Community, all Toro Canyon & Padaro Lane residents in the Carpinteria-Summerland Fire Protection District & all residents of Sycamore Canyon in the City of SB and Montecito

 

[FigTree]

Going a bit off topic, but the Sussexes currently have something more pressing to deal with than Spare and the interviews. The entire Montecito community along with other sensitive areas of Santa Barbara Co. are under an evacuation order due to the threat of mudslides. The region's vegetation that holds the ground in place has still not grown back from the 2017 wildfires. Good luck to all in this affected area.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1612556977464393734

Bit tricky for them where are they going to go with all that security.

 

[Sunnystar]

Going a bit off topic, but the Sussexes currently have something more pressing to deal with than Spare and the interviews. The entire Montecito community along with other sensitive areas of Santa Barbara Co. are under an evacuation order due to the threat of mudslides. The region's vegetation that holds the ground in place has still not grown back from the 2017 wildfires. Good luck to all in this affected area.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1612556977464393734

That's really unfortunate and I hope they are safe and their home doesn't wind up being damaged or destroyed.

 

[Curbside]

Going a bit off topic, but the Sussexes currently have something more pressing to deal with than Spare and the interviews. The entire Montecito community along with other sensitive areas of Santa Barbara Co. are under an evacuation order due to the threat of mudslides. The region's vegetation that holds the ground in place has still not grown back from the 2017 wildfires. Good luck to all in this affected area.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1612556977464393734

Back to Tyler Perry's mansion they go!

 

[tausi]

Well, to be fair, the BRF (and my country as well) was in part founded on racism. Not many say the N-word, but they do accept racist tropes.



Meghan was portrayed as coming from a poverty-stricken background. She was portrayed as an Angry Black Woman. These tropes were portrayed by the media for financial gain.



WRT to the Oprah interview, recall that Meghan was never a part of the conversations (at least it doesn't appear to be the case). She did wonder why these discussion about skin color, the titles Archie would have, and security, were happening.



Here's an excerpt of the conversation with Oprah:



Meghan: That was relayed to me from Harry. Those were conversations that family had with him. And I think . . . 



Oprah: Whoa.



Meghan: It was really hard to be able to see those as compartmentalised conversations.



Oprah: Because they were concerned that if he were too brown, that that would be a problem? Are you saying that?



Meghan: I wasn’t able to follow up with why, but that — if that’s the assumption you’re making, I think that feels like a pretty safe one, which was really hard to understand, right? Especially when — look, I — the Commonwealth is a huge part of the monarchy, and I lived in Canada, which is a Commonwealth country, for seven years. But it wasn’t until Harry and I were together that we started to travel through the Commonwealth, I would say 60 per cent, 70 per cent of which is people of colour, right?



And here she discussed Archie possibly not getting the same title as the grandchild of the monarch:



Meghan: But the idea of our son not being safe, and also the idea of the first member of colour in this family not being titled in the same way that other grandchildren would be . . .  You know, the other piece of that conversation is, there’s a convention — I forget if it was George V or George VI convention — that when you’re the grandchild of the monarch, so when Harry’s dad becomes king, automatically Archie and our next baby would become prince or princess, or whatever they were going to be.



Oprah: So, for you, it’s about protection and safety, not so much as what the . . . what the title means to the world.



Meghan: That’s a huge piece of it, but, I mean, but . . . 



Oprah:  . . . and that having the title gives you the safety and protection?



Meghan: Yeah, but also it’s not their right to take it away.



Oprah: Yeah.



Meghan: Right? And so, I think even with that convention I’m talking about, while I was pregnant, they said they want to change the convention for Archie.



Oprah: Mmm.



Meghan: Well, why?



Oprah: Did you get an answer?



Meghan: No.



Oprah: You still don’t have an answer?



Meghan: No.







I think the tabloid frenzy eventually spilled over to the more traditional media.



The other part of this is the "hate" social media accounts. One of the saddest parts of the docuseries was when Bot Sentinel traced the origins of the Twitter hate accounts and found several associated with Meghan's half sister. And Queen Camilla's official biographer is one of the main Twits re-tweeting the worst hate accounts.

BOT sentinel is not a credible source and Twitter disagreed with their analysis

 

[Prinsara]

Either Harry will use this as a fairly justified excuse not to do Colbert, it will be a distanced interview...or he's not there right now and Meghan is dealing with it with her staff.

How do they tell people to evacuate when the roads are also flooded and they say not to drive? It's obviously a major emergency, I just don't understand the logistics.

 

[VictoriaB]

Reviews of Spare from the Times (https://archive.vn/tVt0c), Telegraph (https://archive.vn/An9TT) and Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/jan/10/spare-prince-harry-review-attempt-reclaim-narrative).

 

[TLLK]

Or a good hotel in nearby downtown Santa Barbara which isn't under an evacuation order. As long as they don't have to bunk down with the UCSB Gauchos in Isla Vista, they should be fine.

 

[Somebody]

In terms of the coronation, the perspective of the former head of counter terrorism might be interesting. When questioned about the security risk for the coronation (after a discussion on Harry's comments on the Taliban), he said that he would invite Harry to the coronation quoting (military philosopher) Marcus Aurelius: "The best revenge is not to be like your enemy" - adding, "so, don't dignify Harry by seeming to be tried and I would invite him for that reason and that reason alone".

 

[Moran]

I hope everyone is OK. Mudslide is a horrible thing.

How were the text messages about bridesmaid dresses still available? Meghan couldn't hand over her texts to court because her phone was set to delete old texts after a certain period and these were definitely older than the ones the court required.

 

[Sunnystar]

I hope everyone is OK. Mudslide is a horrible thing.

How were the text messages about bridesmaid dresses still available? Meghan couldn't hand over her texts to court because her phone was set to delete old texts after a certain period and these were definitely older than the ones the court required.

Screenshots live forever. My guess is that Meghan made sure that conversation was saved.

 

[Moran]

Screenshots live forever. My guess is that Meghan made sure that conversation was saved.

Nothing says good intentions like making screenshots of tense conversations with your future in-laws so you can always revisit them and remind yourself how hard done you were.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

The pictures of the texts do not look real. I think it is a graphic to illustrate the article. I have an iphone and my name doesn't appear beside the text. The only time that the sender's name appears is when it is a group text.

 

[Car8007]

I've always been fond of Harry and William-watched them both grow up and grew up myself in the same generation as Charles and Anne-but I've worried about Harry for years. It's as if he's still lost, in spite of now getting away from the royal family and having Meghan and his kids. He's certainly in a better place than his days of drinking, drugs and carrying on, but he seems so bitter and unhappy about his past. At some point he needs to accept that past, move on and embrace his entire family.

 

[Sunnystar]

The pictures of the texts do not look real. I think it is a graphic to illustrate the article. I have an iphone and my name doesn't appear beside the text. The only time that the sender's name appears is when it is a group text.

It depends on your phone and the settings as well as the text/messenger service you're using as to how recipients and senders are identified.

 

[Alisa]

wow...a screenshot of the exchange. Was it Scobie or Gail King who said the Sussexes had receipts?

One wonders what other conversations were screenshotted and saved.

In a way, I am happy we got to see in black and white what the exchange was. The "Meghan made Kate cry"was such a big story.

In my opinion, neither women came off well.
I could definitely sense a passive aggressiveness on the Catherine's part and Meghan seemed annoyed and frustrated.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

I think the argument was because post-partum hormones and pre-wedding jitters don't mix.

I appreciate folks explaining that texts may look different on other phones but there is no copyright notice on the photo, so I am still skeptical that it came from the book.

My understanding is that Harry and Meghan have a 25 page response to the bullying accusations with proof that it was all a lie. I'm looking forward to seeing that.

 

[Prinsara]

Harry's version of asking the Queen for permission to marry: https://archive.ph/DgKC3