Finding Freedom: Harry and Meghan and the Making of A Modern Royal Family

[carlota]

We all get why they could wait very long but 18 months (possibly only a year if the "secret engagement" is true) and not living in the same country 90% of that time is not long in this situation. And that was partly borne out in the 18 months (1 year if excluding maternity leave and planning time) they gave it before fleeing the country.

the rapidity of how quickly events advanced between this two is quite surprising indeed:

June 2016: met, shortly after they began a relationship
August 2017: visited Botswana and Victoria Falls
September 2017: appeared together in public (some say they were already engaged at this point)
November 2017: engagement was announced
May 2018: marriage
October 2018: pregnancy announced; first overseas tour
May 2019: archie born
January 2020: announced that they were stepping back

so in 3.5 years, they went from being bachelors living in 2 opposite sides of the world doing completely different things with their lives, to them becoming husband and wife, meghan becoming royal, becoming parents... and then in less than 1.5 years after marriage leaving the RF. it's all rather puzzling when looked from the outside.

 

[Alison H]

I've known people in workplace situations act as if the end of the world was nigh because someone used a black biro instead of a blue biro, or stopped for a cup of tea at half 10 instead of 11 o'clock. Quite seriously. People are very resistant to change and anyone wanting to do things differently. Given time, maybe things could have been changed to suit Harry and Meghan, but they seem to have wanted to change everything in five minutes, in a very rigid and formal set-up, and been unwilling either to compromise or to go gradually.

 

[Osipi]

I don't think it was in any way a snub to H&M to not allow them to have their own court. There's a lot more involved in these movings and shakings that aren't immediately visible. It is my opinion that the moves are all part and parcel of a gradual transition in preparation for Charles' reign.

As Duke of Cornwall and, perhaps, Prince of Wales, William will need his own household, staff, offices as he moves into the position of heir to the throne. Even now, Charles' household is pretty much its own entity that works in conjunction with the "Firm" and BP.

Moving Harry and Meghan and their staff and offices to BP sets them up separately from William's household when Charles becomes king. As it is now, Harry depended on Charles' household for public and private funding. Should they have remained, when Charles becomes king, they would still be under Charles' wing in all respects. They would have been moved away from William's household sooner or later anyways. Its the natural progression of things.

None of the Queen's children other than Charles have their own households. Why should Harry be any different? its the way the "Firm" works and going against the "Firm" wanting one's own way in things just isn't going to happen. H&M tried hard to change things to suit themselves and how they wanted things to be. It didn't float and was rejected and they had the option then of toeing the line according to "Firm" operations or leave. They chose to leave. It was their choice. Whatever happens now after the split happens and they'll have to make the best of it. Sink or swim.

Family feuds, what someone "might" have said and "might" have done and who caused what and rehashing every little tidbit of palace gossip isn't going to change one little thing than give us all something to fill pages of posts with and a chance to character analyze every little move a royal made since they urped a burp that was heard around the world or flashed a wee bit of panty line. We are never really going to know the inner workings of the BRF's family dynamics or their innermost thoughts and feelings.

 

[poppy7]

I've known people in workplace situations act as if the end of the world was nigh because someone used a black biro instead of a blue biro, or stopped for a cup of tea at half 10 instead of 11 o'clock. Quite seriously. People are very resistant to change and anyone wanting to do things differently. Given time, maybe things could have been changed to suit Harry and Meghan, but they seem to have wanted to change everything in five minutes, in a very rigid and formal set-up, and been unwilling either to compromise or to go gradually.

Amen to this. It is so so true. Certain institutions are very conservative and all are bureaucratic. Change happens but it is slow.

 

[Helen.CH]

There was a report (don't remember how credible it was) that William supported Harry getting his own court but ultimately it was decided by The Queen and Prince of Wales that Harry not get his own court and he and Meghan ended up joining the Buckingham Palace organization.

How wise this decision was, if true, look what H&M have done since "free",
leaving ruins everywhere they step in, sueing, complaining, whining hypocrites.

 

[Somebody]

the rapidity of how quickly events advanced between this two is quite surprising indeed:

June 2016: met, shortly after they began a relationship
August 2017: visited Botswana and Victoria Falls
September 2017: appeared together in public (some say they were already engaged at this point)
November 2017: engagement was announced
May 2018: marriage
October 2018: pregnancy announced; first overseas tour
May 2019: archie born
January 2020: announced that they were stepping back

so in 3.5 years, they went from being bachelors living in 2 opposite sides of the world doing completely different things with their lives, to them becoming husband and wife, meghan becoming royal, becoming parents... and then in less than 1.5 years after marriage leaving the RF. it's all rather puzzling when looked from the outside.

I included some other key events - others might want to add even more.

Early July 2016: met for the first time
Mid/Late July 2016: Harry asked Meghan to join him for holiday in Botswana which she did
November 2016: Statement by Harry confirming relationship
March? 2017: Meghan closing TIG
June 2017: interviewed for cover article in VF
August 2017: visited Botswana and Victoria Falls
September 2017: cover article in VF published & appeared together in public at Invictus Games
November 2017: engagement was announced
May 2018: marriage
October 2018: pregnancy announced; first overseas tour
May 2019: Archie born
September 2019: Southern Africa tour with Archie
November 2019: Family leaves for Canada
January 2020: announced that they were stepping back

 

[Helen.CH]

I really don't know. I find them hard to follow. I begin to think more and more that Harry wasn't really committed to the royal role.. and Meg even less so. Perhaps they undertook it in a spirit of "we'll give it a go but if we're not happy in it, or aren't free to do things the way we want to, we can quit fully or partially.."
I think that when they did decide to leave it was "we'll stay part time" because that would give them security of being royal, the various financial helps like free security adn Frogmore as a base in the UK .. and the rest of their time they'd spend in the US making money...
and possibly they were thinking that if the money making did really well, they would still do a bit of charity work, and work for the queen but the business career would take precedence.
Neither of them seemed to realise that they could not be half in and half out.. and I think that Harry was quite sullen about it.. as well as Meg....

Making money is a point I cannot understand, they have enough money, heritage to come and like the Yorks have shown before, the firm would even pay if things went wrong . So what on earth does motivate them to make more money?
But of course this is in the dephts of human character.
And this rivalry between the brothers, If it's true it's just another proof how far H's opinion is from reality, he had all the chances and what did he do? Working or I say playing a little bit soldier but when not being protected and filmed in Afghanistan he got bored of it. Going out in Naziuniforms or playing strip poker, how old was he then? Instead of creating his own career he played along, has no working experience, no studies done, just nothing and now he wants to save the world with his c-class actress?
I just cannot believe any of their points. If he and them really deeply think they are going to make a difference, it is pretty sick.
The book is just another sign how things go wrong when you let those two run their own thing, I think the firm can be really happy they're off.
I think 2020 will kill their idea and if there is a time after Covid nobody will take much notice of H&M, if they really wanted a quiet life, here you are.

 

[Eskimo]

The revelations so far in the book have done nothing to change my mind. I think H&M view themselves as the Patron Saints of Perpetual Victimhood

 

[Betsypaige]

What he's alleged to have said is very mild to me. Who wouldn't be concerned about a sibling potentially rushing in to marriage during a long distance relationship where you're both on best behaviour for the short amount of time you spend together? Then add in the insanity of being a potential royal wife and Duchess without knowing much about it. All of which was echoed in the media and here at the time.

It's not like William didn't have personal experience about waiting despite the ever present Men in Grey Suits allegedly trying to organise a wedding the second they left uni.

We all get why they could wait very long but 18 months (possibly only a year if the "secret engagement" is true) and not living in the same country 90% of that time is not long in this situation. And that was partly borne out in the 18 months (1 year if excluding maternity leave and planning time) they gave it before fleeing the country.

Oh I agree....also, Harry has had a couple of relationships that ended because his girlfriends didn’t want that kind of lifestyle. William was only showing how much he cared about his brother, but of course Harry took it as something personal against him and Meghan. It must be hard to deal with him when anytime someone expresses concern Harry gets so upset.

 

[Betsypaige]

I do think that giving them their own Court would have been an unwise decision. What do you think they would have done had they be given their own court that would have made it so dangerous? Would it have given them more freedom to do what they wanted with fewer boundaries?

I think they would have tried to do a lot more, they’d have tried to push the boundaries, change from within. IMO, they couldn’t be trusted. Harry and Meghan wanted to do things their way; they aren’t team players, they don’t respect the Institution.

 

[suztav]

Bottom line: The Crown must always win. And, it does, always win!

Poor Meghan ... she thought that she could overcome 1,000 years of British history. You think she would have learned from her mother-in-law.

As for Harry -- poor soul!

 

[Betsypaige]

Amen to this. It is so so true. Certain institutions are very conservative and all are bureaucratic. Change happens but it is slow.

Even so, there is only so much change that would happen. Harry and Meghan didn’t just want one big change, like getting rid of primogeniture, which fortunately is no more. They don’t like the monarchy, they don’t like what it represents, and they don’t respect it. They wanted to create a revolution from within, I think they would have been a pain in the Royal derrière because they’d always have been dissatisfied with something, and I think they would have needed constant scrutiny.

 

[Denville]

Making money is a point I cannot understand, they have enough money, heritage to come and like the Yorks have shown before, the firm would even pay if things went wrong . So what on earth does motivate them to make more money?
But of course this is in the dephts of human character.
And this rivalry between the brothers, If it's true it's just another proof how far H's opinion is from reality, he had all the chances and what did he do? Working or I say playing a little bit soldier but when not being protected and filmed in Afghanistan he got bored of it. Going out in Naziuniforms or playing strip poker, how old was he then? Instead of creating his own career he played along, has no working experience, no studies done, just nothing and

Of course they dotn have enough money. They were getting £2M a year from Charles adn they probably still are. really don't know what you mean about the Yorks.. or about Harry being bored with Soldiering.. He only got bored when he had to give up active serivce...

 

[Denville]

I think they would have tried to do a lot more, they’d have tried to push the boundaries, change from within. IMO, they couldn’t be trusted. Harry and Meghan wanted to do things their way; they aren’t team players, they don’t respect the Institution.

I don't really know what they wanted and tend to think that it was just to be free to do whatever they liked.. perhaps fire off the occasional political comment?

 

[duchessrachel]

The thing that stands out the most to me about Finding Freedom more than likely being factual is that Harry and Meghan have not denied anything in it. They did say they did not participate in the writing of it, but did not take issue with the content. For two people as sue happy as them, I would think there would already be lawsuits pending if they did not agree with the book. However, far from showing that they were mistreated , as I am sure they hope people will think, it shows them to be unappreciative, spoiled, entitled, and self-centered.

 

[Denville]

Even if they had nothing to do with it, I agree that they probably hoped it was from a favourable journalist and it would give a picture of them as two free spirits ready to lead a new life in the US and shaking off the shackles of the old fashioned UK Monarchy...
but it seems that they come across as silly, throwing fits about trivial things...

 

[Hallo girl]

Harry & Meghan wanted their lives to matter, but they couldn’t overshadow the other members of the family. Harry wanted his wife to be treated fairly and not as some interloper. None of that is wrong or deserving of 3 years of racist, biased, misogynistic lies and stories. What I don’t understand is the uproar about this book as compared to others that are written with and without the approval of the BRF. Is it because it pulls the veil back and exposes the machinations of the royal houses?

The Windsors care deeply what the public thinks of them. All the pageantry, nationalism, photo exclusives, tours are meant to further the monarchy beyond Elizabeth’s death. Hence the 4 generation picture at Christmas. Everything is to ensure the monarchy is strong enough to withstand political upheaval, Brexit, feckless heirs and unpopular heirs. The public must never question their funding of the family. Books like Finding Freedom show this family is no better than your neighbors.They have petty jealousies. They allow their employees to run amok. There are misunderstandings and slights. All the Windsors have are titles and gobs of money they inherited, not earned. Strip all of the pomp & circumstance away and they are simply a dysfunctional family with a creaking, antiquated business run by a CEO, who should step down and allow new blood in. I actually hope things do change so the next generation won’t be stifled in their pursuit of their happiness. That Charlotte, Louis’ lives will matter beyond their usefulness to Future King George.

Well to be honest with you she is our CEO and we are quite happy with her.

Meghan had a great deal to offer and could have encouraged change from within , but IMO she believed her own hype and thought she could go in and change a 1000 years of history just by being there. There is more to it.

 

[Denville]

What did she have to offer exactly? She did some charity work as a kid, so do loads of people. She was an actress and was employed, that's a plus but she was never a brilliant actress or very successful. She was pretty enough to make a living at the job...She had a blog, so do all actors nowadays...
Far as I can see all she had to offer was that she was confident in speaking in public, due to her acting training, and was willing to do the royal job (for a year).

 

[Heavs]

What did she have to offer exactly? She did some charity work as a kid, so do loads of people. She was an actress and was employed, that's a plus but she was never a brilliant actress or very successful. She was pretty enough to make a living at the job...She had a blog, so do all actors nowadays...
Far as I can see all she had to offer was that she was confident in speaking in public, due to her acting training, and was willing to do the royal job (for a year).

Well most of that was seen as a potentially good thing. Not to mention a bi racial woman who had been divorced as a senior royal was seen by some as reflecting the times and how things had moved on from virgin teenaged Earl's daughter in a generation.

The institution itself has adapted and changed over the millennium but you don't make changes by coming in to an old firm and demanding nebulous change right now then leaving as quickly as quickly as you arrived when there's resistance because there a dozens of other people involved. It's taken many of the now successful married ins and born royals in various reigning Houses to find their feet.

It seems a lot of their complaints involve them not being given a free reign to do exactly what they wanted, which is a no go in any business. Or miscalculating that they were so popular and modern that they should be allowed to do what they thought was best. Which again is not the way any sustainable company works.

I still really like things like "Together" that as a very practical and touching project. More of things like that and less of pettiness could have worked and then things could have gradually changed for them, especially when Charles became King.

 

[Denville]

Well most of that was seen as a potentially good thing. Not to mention a bi racial woman who had been divorced as a senior royal was seen by some as reflecting the times and how things had moved on from virgin teenaged Earl's daughter in a generation.

The institution itself has adapted and changed over the millennium but you don't make changes by coming in to an old firm and demanding nebulous change right now then leaving as quickly as quickly as you arrived when there's resistance because there a dozens of other people involved. It's taken many of the now successful married ins and born royals in various reigning Houses to find their feet.

It seems a lot of their complaints involve them not being given a free reign to do exactly what they wanted, which is a no go in any business. Or miscalculating that they were so popular and modern that they should be allowed to do what they thought was best. Which again is not the way any sustainable company works.

I am not so sure she really wanted to change anything per se, except when it impinged on her freedom. OK she seems to have given Harry a tutorial or 2 in "liberal Democratic viewpoint" on politics..
But you can't really change the monarchy into a liberal republican body, it just isn't one.. nd even modest changes take time. Really I don't get the impression she was all that bothered about primogeniture or curtsying to the queen or any of the things that might have bothered some Americans.
Perhaps she didn't really intend to stay that long, so it didn't impinge on her life that much and she was happy to play along with the rituals for a while, as she was aware that becoming a royal duchess would make her famous....
Call me cynical - but i cant help feeling now that the main thing was to secure a way to be half in and half out.. which ultimately they dint get. That way she would have been able to keep up her "royal brand" exposure, have the security of being royal, and also have the freedom to spend time in the US and make their own money.
I think the fact that they went to the US was a sign that that was always their real goal, not leading a life of quiet charity work in Canada with maybe a teeny bit of money making on the side...

 

[Alison H]

Diana left school without a single O-level, and had no experience of anything very much when she married Prince Charles, but, whatever faults she had, she used the Royal platform to very good effect. The pictures of her shaking hands with people living with HIV did a huge amount to change attitudes, because anything that a senior Royal does makes headlines. There is quite a bit of scope for each individual to focus on causes that are important to them personally - Eugenie with scoliosis, Beatrice with dyslexia, Camilla with osteoporosis, Charles with organic foods. Meghan had a great opportunity.

 

[Tatiana Maria]

Harry and Meghan didn’t just want one big change, like getting rid of primogeniture, which fortunately is no more.

The British monarchy continues to practice primogeniture. It is anticipated that the throne and the bulk of the financial inheritance will be passed to the Queen's eldest child (Charles), followed by his eldest child (William), and so forth.

 

[Denville]

Diana left school without a single O-level, and had no experience of anything very much when she married Prince Charles, but, whatever faults she had, she used the Royal platform to very good effect. The pictures of her shaking hands with people living with HIV did a huge amount to change attitudes, because anything that a senior Royal does makes headlines. There is quite a bit of scope for each individual to focus on causes that are important to them personally - Eugenie with scoliosis, Beatrice with dyslexia, Camilla with osteoporosis, Charles with organic foods. Meghan had a great opportunity.

Diana did but I think it took a while for her to get into big scale charity work and to learn a bit about the background of charities. And I think she didn't really approach them from an intellectual point of view, at least at first.
But IMO Meghan wasn't all that into the causes per se... She has the general "liberal Democratic" (in the American party sense) viewpoint on things, but IS her heart really in doing good? or is it more about Meghan and her being seen as a philanthropist?
There's no law that says anyone has to be a charity worker or activist or donor.. but I just am increasingly cynical about her commitment to charities. I Cant help feeling that insofar as they quit the RF it was more to do with having freedom and making money.. tho' I think that part of their preferred self image is to be glitzy global philanthropists like Angelina Jolie or the Clooneys. Its part of the "new royalty".. that you make a lot of money in Hollywood or business and then appear at Red Carpet events for various charities and do a bit of visiting places that aren't so glamourous (with a camera crew).
But I think it isn't really what genuine charity work is about. the people who really do it are little old ladies who work in a shop, or cook Meals on Wheels...or people who visit the old and sick, or who work in war torn countries.. and who DONT get their names in the paper...
Yes if Meg's heart was really in some causes, the RF is as good a place to work for them as any other place.. her visiting them or doing a bit of hands on work, would help a lot... But she didn't want to stick it out with the RF..
Since they left, there have been one or 2 sightings of her doing something.. a couple of Canadian charities got a visit, and they delivered food . Maybe they are doing a lot privately but i feel if they were, it woudl show up on the net at some stage...

 

[Moonmaiden23]

I always got the feeling that Meghan's commitment to her animal charities like Mayhew was genuine. I am not sure she is a good enough actress to fake what seems to be a real connection to dogs.

As for tutoring Harry in liberal "wokeness"...he didn't need it. He seemed to lean in that direction way long before Meghan entered the picture.He was simply emboldened by having a fellow traveler as his wife

 

[Denville]

I always got the feeling that Meghan's commitment to her animal charities like Mayhew was genuine. I am not sure she is a good enough actress to fake what seems to be a real connection to dogs.

As for tutoring Harry in liberal "wokeness"...he didn't need it. He seemed to lean in that direction way long before Meghan entered the picture.He was simply emboldened by having a fellow traveler as his wife

I don't know of any evidence that harry was a "liberal thinker" before Meg came along. Maybe im mistaken but didn't he say to T Markle to give Donald Trump a chance as President? and as a member of the RF, he would not have spoken about anything political anyway...

 

[ACO]

Harry was going #HeForShe and talking feminism and the like long before Meghan was in his life. He didn't need her to think those thoughts.

 

[Betsypaige]

Diana left school without a single O-level, and had no experience of anything very much when she married Prince Charles, but, whatever faults she had, she used the Royal platform to very good effect. The pictures of her shaking hands with people living with HIV did a huge amount to change attitudes, because anything that a senior Royal does makes headlines. There is quite a bit of scope for each individual to focus on causes that are important to them personally - Eugenie with scoliosis, Beatrice with dyslexia, Camilla with osteoporosis, Charles with organic foods. Meghan had a great opportunity.

She didn’t want that. She wanted to do things her way, she didn’t want to adjust to the monarchy. This goes for Harry, too. In words and actions, they have shown how they have no respect for the institution; to them it’s archaic and out of touch, and they don’t see anything good about it in its current state.

 

[Claire]

I read in the newspaper , unsure when, that FF was meant to come out last year, but it was held back as they wanted to cover Archie and the visit to Africa. Okay _ if the book was written up for publication in September it would have been the first source for many of the tabloid headlines that hit around September 2019 - January 2020. Of course I think it might be considerable thinner. Will take a look when I read the book.
How long did it take for the book to be written and taken to the publisher before it was pulled. It just looks like Meghan and Harry didn’t have a year marriage before they wanted to have their version put out. Has anyone else looked at the timing of the book compared to the events? Of course you can rewrite a book , but why would they have wanted a book written at that point in time?

 

[Denville]

She didn’t want that. She wanted to do things her way, she didn’t want to adjust to the monarchy. This goes for Harry, too. In words and actions, they have shown how they have no respect for the institution; to them it’s archaic and out of touch, and they don’t see anything good about it in its current state.

I dont think they are really all that concerned about in itself. I mean I don't think they burn with indignation at the thought that its a monarchy and therefore not egalitarian.. or that it has all these old fashioned rituals that they think of as "out of touch..."
but they care about how it impinges on THEIR lives. I think that there is a bit of simmering resentment in Harry that because he was born 2 years later, HE wont ever be King or POW..
I don't think that Harry ever really took much interest in politics till he got Meghan. He would hardly have been saying stuff like "Give old Trump a chance" if he were a card carrying liberal...

And I think that Harry and Meg also resent the convention that senior royals can't engage in business, because that put paid to their plans to do exactly this. But I don't think that either of them really is concerned about the inherent conservatism of monarchy...

 

[Helen.CH]

Even if they had nothing to do with it, I agree that they probably hoped it was from a favourable journalist and it would give a picture of them as two free spirits ready to lead a new life in the US and shaking off the shackles of the old fashioned UK Monarchy...
but it seems that they come across as silly, throwing fits about trivial things...

As I said before I wonder if the book offers any or much concerning its subtitle" making a modern royal family". I doubt the two authors are capable to imagine and write about auch a topic, this requests a lot of knowledge beginning with deep knowledge of history..... and their sources do not know better.
but like so many other things ever since H&M are playing along they might have believed two little journalists could do that, unrealistic as its best like always.