I think the problem is that they enabled him, whether it was out of pity or guilt, the outcome was always going to be a disaster. Same as Andrew. Harry by his own admission resented his brother all his life, that’s not on Meghan, however questionable I find her.
No, this all boils down to, in my opinion, a failure of leadership on the part of Buckingham Palace. Harry should have been made to understand his role in the family. I have no evidence that they didn’t, but he clearly doesn’t get it. They also spent a lot of time cleaning up his messes, and I’m making an assumption here, without any consequences.
They approved that marriage with a boatload of red flags. I understand they wanted Harry to be happy. They were also afraid of the racist label, and guess what…they got called racist anyway. Harry has a history of making bad choices. He acted out for attention and they come in and sweep everything down. The problem became that they were willing to clean up after him because he’s flesh and blood (not a very good management strategy for people in the business of projecting a certain image, but I digress), but he brought in someone whom he expected them to do the same for, and that’s where anticipating and managing expectations fell apart for them.
Harry tells us he was miserable for years and I have no reason to doubt him, but what’s important to remember is our feelings are not always the best indicator of what is true or right. For example, I can say something to my sister and she gets upset by it. Now it might have not been my intention to hurt her feelings, but you feel what you feel and I get it. Those situations are best ironed out in private, especially for people in that kind of position.
What's also clear, and here I agree with you, is that Harry was so very good at taking direction that almost everyone adored him and he was only second to the beloved QEII. When I said he had potential, that’s what I meant. Professionally speaking, responsibility is the ability to put something, whatever that may be, above yourself. He is obviously someone who requires a lot of guidance, and even with a ton of resources at his disposal, he fumbles left to his own devices or in the wrong environment.
Thanks for your great post, very thought-provoking!
The bolded bit is a very good point. For example, if a post describes me (or other critics of H&M) as "haters" I just ignore it now. It's not true or constructive, nor is it for anyone to tell another person how they feel (an honest mistake is one thing).
In PH's case, therefore, I accept he has (or had) those feelings, and I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he didn't exaggerate how he felt to sell more copies of his book, which I should add I have not read (the sample of the beginning was quite enough). I accept that it is
his "truth", which is different from
the truth.
Does PH even know what he really wants? He was admired, even loved by many here in the UK; I liked him myself. He had no want of money and we now know he did what he liked (and got away with stuff he shouldn't have done) but he was still unhappy. Now he has gone, does he have a clear idea of what he wants to achieve or what would make him feel fulfilled and of greater worth? Does he like living in California? Even as far as Invictus is concerned, he is essentially a figurehead (other people do all the hard work), but the irony is that it was created for him after he left the forces - if I recall correctly - to give him purpose and focus. I do like to think that up to a point BP and Charles did try hard with Harry, and I believe William did the absolute best he could (ditto Catherine), but it's one thing to try and help someone and another thing to get them to listen and engage. As you say, he needs a lot of guidance; who is guiding him now? For what it's worth, IMO he was happiest when he was in the Army - as he said himself. If so, why did he leave, especially if the discipline presumably was good for him?
What is clear now is that although here in the UK we sort of accepted PH for what he appeared to be, the "loveable rogue who lost his mum", the reality was very different. His mother's death, while tragic and undoubtedly traumatising, made an existing situation worse, and as you say BP enabled this. Giving him a good public image took precedence at some point over trying to reform his character. I do agree with everything you say in about PH in your post, and it's important to remember that William lost his mother too, and he turned out very differently.
As I said in my previous post, I don't think PH has ever learned to dissemble, and I saw for myself occasions where he did look happy and relaxed with William and/or Catherine, but perhaps he was happy for another reason, has forgotten that there
were happy times - or because he was so unhappy, they didn't really count.
And absolutely, MM was not responsible for how PH turned out before she met him. Nevertheless, as I said in another post, they were rather like Bonnie and Clyde; they got together and it was only a matter of time before all hell broke loose. At the time of course, here in the UK, welcoming MM and glad that PH had found a partner, we were blissfully unaware of what was to follow.