The Duke & Duchess of Sussex and Family, News and Events 4: April-June 2021

[ACO]

Not hard to overshadow someone who hasn’t been seen in over a month. Again, why are we making this about her?

 

[JR76]

I believe that most 'protocol' violations are invented by the media. I don't believe for a second that there's a protocol saying you must wear a hat when accompanying the Queen outdoors but not indoors, despite the Queen wearing a hat for both. There's definitely no protocol for nail varnish or tights.

Traditionally, according to rules of etiquette followed by very few these days, a lady would wear a hat both outside and also inside when paying a visit during the day but never inside her own home.

 

[Roslyn]

See, here is the problem for Meghan... She simply doesn't, I don't think, believe that there is any validity in giving people respect for higher positions they were born into rather than earned through hard work and/or talent and skill. She is an American, through and through, in that regard.

This is not just a view held by some Americans, I can point to a goodly number of Australians who feel the same, myself included, which makes her decision to marry Harry so quickly a very strange one.

Meghan might also believe, as I do, that when you marry someone you marry that person, not their whole family. That can work out just fine for ordinary people, but not so much when you marry a senior member of a royal family for whom being a member seems to count as a "job". She should have realised that, and if for some reason she didn't Harry should have and should have warned her.

I put a lot of this onto Harry. He ought to have foreseen these difficulties, and it seems he didn't or didn't care. If working within his family's rules was important to him, he should have ensured he married a woman who was prepared to go along with them, and not married someone from an entirely different background who had no desire to change her ways fundamentally, and no intention of doing so. I really don't think he foresaw the consequences because the evidence indicates that a lot of what has happened has come as a complete shock to him. What happened at the Prince of Wales commemoration event tells me he doesn't understand much about the royal family system works.

 

[Archduchess Zelia]

...

I haven't seen any posts expressing "outrage" on behalf of the Queen (...)

"Insulting and arrogant", "flaunting tradition", "petulant, arrogant, and incredibly condescending" and "arrogant and disrespectful" – just a handful of comments concerning Meghan's choice not to dress her bridesmaids in tights/wear a hat/wear the "wrong" colour nail polish. Sounds pretty offended to me.

 

[JessRulz]

....
You all agreed to our terms of service when you became a member of this forum. Our rules and FAQ clearly state that claims should be backed up by sources. Random anonymous people somewhere on the internet are NOT a credible source.

The TRF Mod. team has no intention in allowing this forum to sink into a parallel universe where hearsay, rumours and malicious gossip become fact. To make sure this does not happen we were sadly forced to suspend an account of a TRF poster today. Hopefully we will not need to do that again.

We therefore urge you all NOT to re-post all kinds of malicious rumours from 'somewhere on the internet'. You can save yourself the trouble as it will be deleted ánd it will result into firmer measures towards whomever it is who is deliberately spreading misinformation....

Repeating the above moderator warning from a mere TWO days ago, stating that rumours from social media/the internet without a credible source are not to be posted here.

Several posts doing just that have been removed.

Several off-topic posts have also been removed - let's try not to go off on tangents that have little to do with the topic but point-score and snark.

 

[_Heather_]

I doubt she feels much of anything on that regard since people still making a lot of this about her. The focus should be on Philip and HMQ. Meghan was fairly new in his life. I don’t blame her for not sharing anything because, let’s be real, she would be attacked for it. She being attacked for not even attending...

I honestly haven’t seen a single person either here or anywhere else attacking her for not attending. I’ve seen some question the reason she gave but none at all attacking the fact that she isn’t attending. In fact, most of the comments I’ve seen have been glad that she won’t be there and thought it to be the right move.

 

[King of the Jungle]

Agreed. To me- it’s also the intent of people involved that matters.

Thing is- no matter what happened- I don’t think there was an intent to hurt Harry and Meghan. Using the supposed racist comment as an example- I simply don’t believe whatever may or may not have been said was intended to be hurtful. It didn’t sound like this was said in a fit of anger. It sounded like a discussion at some point in time. If it happened at all. I suppose you can argue that I’m giving the family the benefit of the doubt, but I don’t see why said individual would purposefully set out to hurt Harry with whatever was said for no apparent reason.

This interview was nothing but Harry and Meghan going out of their way to hurt their family IMO. All of them. Every single one got impacted by that racism comment. It was an intentionally, knowingly hurtful act on their parts. This interview did nothing but cause hurt and almost assuredly further fracture relationships.

And while the focus seems to be on mending relationships with Charles and William....I’d be surprised if those are the only relationships out of sorts at the point.

Yes. The Queen and the BRF never said anything nasty and were welcoming.

Some people in the UK might have expresed disapproval, as might have the media .. so for the interview to target the family was particularly hurtful and below the belt for all the World to see.

 

[Sunnystar]

This is not just a view held by some Americans, I can point to a goodly number of Australians who feel the same, myself included, which makes her decision to marry Harry so quickly a very strange one.

Meghan might also believe, as I do, that when you marry someone you marry that person, not their whole family. That can work out just fine for ordinary people, but not so much when you marry a senior member of a royal family for whom being a member seems to count as a "job". She should have realised that, and if for some reason she didn't Harry should have and should have warned her.

I put a lot of this onto Harry. He ought to have foreseen these difficulties, and it seems he didn't or didn't care. If working within his family's rules was important to him, he should have ensured he married a woman who was prepared to go along with them, and not married someone from an entirely different background who had no desire to change her ways fundamentally, and no intention of doing so. I really don't think he foresaw the consequences because the evidence indicates that a lot of what has happened has come as a complete shock to him. What happened at the Prince of Wales commemoration event tells me he doesn't understand much about the royal family system works.

I almost included Australia in my original comment because, from what I've seen from a lot of our Aussie posters, especially during the brouhaha over Prince Philip receiving the Australian honor/order a few years ago, there seems to be a similar mentality toward respecting people due to birth order/inherited wealth, power & position versus earning respect through hard work, talent, skill and effort.

Meghan clearly views herself as a self-made success, so I think she was never going to understand, at a very deep, visceral level, that no matter how much work she put into doing her job as Duchess of Sussex well, no matter how much natural talent she had for making great speeches, no matter how skillfully she could work the line at receptions or walkabouts, even if all of that added up to her being more capable/better at the job than any other married-in member of the Royal Family, she was never going to walk ahead of or get the same level of support as the Duchesses of Cambridge or Cornwall and, as long as HM The Queen is alive, she'd also often be walking behind the Countess of Wessex, simply because she was the wife of a younger son/grandson.

And, I agree, much of the blame here, rests on Harry, for not making sure that Meghan really understood what she was getting into. I think Harry was more than happy to move the relationship along very quickly, especially after she relocated to the UK, because he didn't want Meghan deciding this life wasn't for her after all once she got the full taste of the invasive British media. He wasn't going to let her go the way he did with Chelsy or Cressida (assuming that he and Cressida were much more than an idle, on-again/off-again fling, which I've never been certain about).

 

[UglyAmerican]

I think part of the problem is that Meghan cares about very different things than Harry's previous girlfriends, or anyone Harry loved in any way before that. Prior to meeting Meghan, Harry's complaints about the media had focused on dangerous and harassing behavior to get photos, or illegal things like hacking phones, not the veracity of what they printed. Fair or not, he'd grown up with the expectation that unfair and untrue stories would be printed about him all the time, and that the proper response was to ignore them. That was how it had always been for every member of his family, so that was normal to him. While prior girlfriends may have tried to avoid the press, I always had the impression that was mostly because it was unpleasant to be chased through the streets by a pack of cameramen, not because they were horrified that the press might report on where they went shopping. I don't think he anticipated, or could have anticipated, how much that particular issue was going to bother Meghan. Meghan herself may not have realized how big a problem it would be for her until they were already married.

 

[MARG]

I honestly haven’t seen a single person either here or anywhere else attacking her for not attending. I’ve seen some question the reason she gave but none at all attacking the fact that she isn’t attending. In fact, most of the comments I’ve seen have been glad that she won’t be there and thought it to be the right move.

While various morning talkshow hosts have floated the idea the the reason Meghan is not attending the Funeral is because she doesn't want to go rather than she was advised against it by her doctor. There were also mutterings that "they had lied" about her due date to make it look right. I was unaware that they had announced a due date especially as she could yet miscarry (heaven forfend).

However, as most of us are aware, Meghan looked quite advanced or carrying a large baby during the Oprah interview and hers is a high risk geriatric pregnancy made even more risky by her previous miscarriage. I don't know what most women would do in her shoes but common sense tells me that an 10 or 11 hour transatlantic flight would not be one of them. And then there's Archie . . . add a boisterous toddler to that flight and then wonder how to get him to understand self-isolating in a strange place, would not even be a starter.

And no matter who is right or who is wrong, the family rift would inevitably add an unacceptable level of added stress to her both medically and emotionally.

 

[Alison H]

Other than talkshow hosts, who'll say anything, I haven't heard anyone pass much comment on Meghan's non-attendance. It's just not sensible for a heavily pregnant woman to make a 10 1/2 hour flight, and then another 10 12 hour flight a few days later.

 

[Hallo girl]

Meghan was in a no win situation with regards attending the funeral. But to be honest I have not read or heard, other than social media, any criticism of her decision.
Even on here when debating the 30 there were suggestions that the in laws should be asked to step back.
Royals are never precise with their due date, it is always kept quite vague as in early spring or late summer.

 

[Heavs]

In the mainstream British press/TV commentary there seems to have been acceptance that she couldn't be there for the stated medical reasons. There's also an open understanding that it's probably for the best due to everything that's happened.

There will always be muttering - there are mutterings about other people being there/not being there (especially if Edo and Jack should be there) but for the most part I haven't seen a huge amount of discussion about Meghan, not compared to the uniform debacle and the William and Harry (Peter) issue.

Online criticism/adoration is an entirely different matter from mainstream media IMHO.

 

[Denville]

In the mainstream British press/TV commentary there seems to have been acceptance that she couldn't be there for the stated medical reasons. There's also an open understanding that it's probably for the best due to everything that's happened.

There will always be muttering - there are mutterings about other people being there/not being there (especially if Edo and Jack should be there) but for the most part I haven't seen a huge amount of discussion about Meghan, not compared to the uniform debacle and the William and Harry (Peter) issue.

Online criticism/adoration is an entirely different matter from mainstream media IMHO.

I dont think that anyone would expect her to go, with her pregnancy.. but it problaby is for the best that she has a reason not to go...

 

[ACO]

It was a nice image to see Harry sandwiched by William and Kate. Then we saw the brothers walking together talking. Hopefully this will be the start of the healing. It will take a lot of time but it can be done.

 

[Curryong]

Yes it was hopeful to see the three of them walking off together after the service. A nice sight to see.

 

[Heavs]

It was good to see the three of them together but I don't think we can read anything into it other than they have made sure to put everything else aside and concentrate on their grandparents.

We'll see what happens over the next few weeks for any real indication. Not sure much of substance will be said until they can be sure Gayle King won't repeat it on TV.

 

[Betsypaige]

It was a nice image to see Harry sandwiched by William and Kate. Then we saw the brothers walking together talking. Hopefully this will be the start of the healing. It will take a lot of time but it can be done.

I’m very about that; I’ve never felt their relationship was beyond repair..

 

[Frelinghighness]

The emphasis on his duty and service may have resounded. However the Duke’s pleasure that William had chosen such a level headed wife is how he put it I think, has been a blessing.
Too bad for the tabloids and social media, the BRF is steady as she goes with minor course corrections. Drama doesn’t figure into it.

 

[Alisa]

I am inclined to think it was strategically done by the Duchess of Cambridge for her and William to sandwich Prince Harry and then for her to drop off and go with the Countess of Wessex and Lady Louise.

That way the media can see the brothers talking and in pleasant moods. Very clever Kate!

 

[ACO]

I’m very about that; I’ve never felt their relationship was beyond repair.

Were there any images of Harry and Charles ? Everyone is focused on the brothers, but to me the rift between father and son is just as tragic.

Charles was mostly ahead of his sons. So no images with either. I wasn't expecting the image with the brothers but was pleasantly surprised.

This is a small step but that really is all it takes when there is a rift. Maybe after Meghan gives birth and a little time has passed, we might see the Sussex family travel back to the UK for a visit. I wouldn't rule it out.

This was a lovely service. I am glad Harry was able to bid farewell.

 

[muriel]

It was a nice image to see Harry sandwiched by William and Kate. Then we saw the brothers walking together talking. Hopefully this will be the start of the healing. It will take a lot of time but it can be done.

Yes it was hopeful to see the three of them walking off together after the service. A nice sight to see.

One can hope that, this indeed, was a signal of the beginning of the healing process, and the path to rebuilding that relationship, though I remain sceptical. Events of the last 16 months have been so damaging, that it will take a vry long time for any form of trust to return. I sincerely hope that we do not hear about any family conversations that may or may not take place from Gayle or Oprah or any of the "friends" of the Duchess in the US ever.

 

[Moonmaiden23]

I would SO love it if the Sussexes decide to bring the new baby back to Britain for a family christening. Few events have the power to heal like the birth of a child.

I will keep my fingers crossed and remain hopeful that all is not lost here.

 

[ACO]

One can hope that, this indeed, was a signal of the beginning of the healing process, and the path to rebuilding that relationship, though I remain sceptical. Events of the last 16 months have been so damaging, that it will take a vry long time for any form of trust to return. I sincerely hope that we do not hear about any family conversations that may or may not take place from Gayle or Oprah or any of the "friends" of the Duchess in the US ever.

Or the front page of the Times or Telegraph via Roya or Tominey via "sources"? Same coin, different side.

Anyways I just hope this can be the start of healing on all sides. Seeing the Queen sitting alone looking a bit fragile... I just hope she can have her family mended in some way. None of them are perfect. I am sure there was hurt done on all sides. They don't hate each other. It can be done with work.

 

[Betsypaige]

Charles was mostly ahead of his sons. So no images with either. I wasn't expecting the image with the brothers but was pleasantly surprised.

This is a small step but that really is all it takes when there is a rift. Maybe after Meghan gives birth and a little time has passed, we might see the Sussex family travel back to the UK for a visit. I wouldn't rule it out.

This was a lovely service. I am glad Harry was able to bid farewell.

Thanks ! I’m sure Charles was glad to see his sons together ...and, I certainly think he’s seen/talked to Harry.

Every journey has to start with a single step...and there is no time like the present. However long Harry stays, it’s a beginning ...I won’t rule out his return to the U.K. - with Meghan and kids in tow, either. That would be something to look forward to.

Or the front page of the Times or Telegraph via Roya or Tominey via "sources"? Same coin, different side.

Anyways I just hope this can be the start of healing on all sides. Seeing the Queen sitting alone looking a bit fragile... I just hope she can have her family mended in some way. None of them are perfect. I am sure there was hurt done on all sides. They don't hate each other. It can be done with work.

Exactly. They all do love each other deeply, and I hope that they are remembering that today.. I’m sure HM and Charles have been devastated by this rift - and so even just a small step in the right direction is very positive.

 

[muriel]

Or the front page of the Times or Telegraph via Roya or Tominey via "sources"? Same coin, different side.

Don't really want to be side tracked, but the UK media speculating or suggesting what may or may not be going on is very different, in my opinion, to Gayle repeating on national television a conversation she had with Meghan or Harry.

 

[Heavs]

It was only a couple of months ago that the press were full of "they're all close again, Zooming everyday and looking forward to meeting up for family time at the Diana statue unveiling, maybe even Balmoral." Then the interview happened.

It was very good that they were able to chat a bit and maybe this is the start of dialogue but I think it will be a long road, although this may be the start.

 

[Sandy345]

I'd like to see both couples together, getting along.

 

[cathy50]

It was only a couple of months ago that the press were full of "they're all close again, Zooming everyday and looking forward to meeting up for family time at the Diana statue unveiling, maybe even Balmoral." Then the interview happened.

It was very good that they were able to chat a bit and maybe this is the start of dialogue but I think it will be a long road, although this may be the start.

After all we have seen from Harry being "emotional" it is possible that now he has been without his wife back to his old lifestyle during a few tense days simply changed him back to what he seemed to be, less complicated, a little easygoing, close to W&K.
But like so often this is only an idea. Time will tell, and especially when/if there will be new leaks, telling friends of H&M or if Harry now understood something of his grandfathers sense of service and respects his folks and the life they have chosen. hopefully he has.

 

[ACO]

It was only a couple of months ago that the press were full of "they're all close again, Zooming everyday and looking forward to meeting up for family time at the Diana statue unveiling, maybe even Balmoral." Then the interview happened.

It was very good that they were able to chat a bit and maybe this is the start of dialogue but I think it will be a long road, although this may be the start.

This is true but it also goes to show how little we know. People also were convinced that Harry wouldn't be welcome and apparently it was so bad they wouldn't even talk. They didn't have to do this. They could have maintained the distance we saw majority of the service and no one would have thought twice.

Instead we saw the brothers come together. Time will obviously tell but from the reaction I heard from the media... it is clear, despite the ranting all week, that deep down they do want this family healed. Heck that seems to be he new narrative now. The hope this small olive branch between them is the beginning.

Who knows. I am just glad we had that small moment. Death puts a lot into perspective.