Relationships between the Members of the Danish Royal Family

[Duke of Marmalade]

Alex basically acted as CP before Mary came on the scene and would have had to step back in terms of quality of events and limelight in order not to overshadow the new CP.

As you said, they may have ended up respecting each other but the beginning would have been very difficult, in that respect Mary was lucky that one strong princess was on her way out when another was on her way in and the strong princess who was out was only replaced by a princess who had no interest in following into the perfectionist and ambitious footsteps of her predessessor.

 

[Muhler]

Alex basically acted as CP before Mary came on the scene and would have had to step back in terms of quality of events and limelight in order not to overshadow the new CP.

As you said, they may have ended up respecting each other but the beginning would have been very difficult, in that respect Mary was lucky that one strong princess was on her way out when another was on her way in and the strong princess who was out was only replaced by a princess who had no interest in following into the perfectionist and ambitious footsteps of her predessessor.

Yeah, I think you pretty much nailed it.

Another thing is that I believe Alexandra would have maintained a much higher public profile, than our Marie - who is still in the process of finding her role.
The competition, at least in the eyes of the public (not to mention the magazines, good grief!) would have been much fiercer between Mary and Alexandra (no matter their personal relationship) at least until a kind of balance had been established.

Mary is also very much influenced by Frederik, in the sense that when he is around she's much less aware of her role. She is much more relaxed even to the point of being almost girlish. Her perfectionist streak takes second place. And that is something that is so very appealing to so many, me included.
Mary resembles QMII in the sense that they are both very good at their jobs, but when they are on the job with their husbands, that's when we often see the true QMII and Mary bubble up.

Marie is so fortunate that she seems to thrive at Schackenborg as well as Copenhagen, where, as I understand it, Alexandra is more of a big-city girl.
Result: Marie really has become "the lady of the manor". She and Joachim are the "royals of Southern Jutland" to a large extent. Simply because she, Marie, is there.
It's strange, come to think of it.
The lord of the manor is around - yeah, okay. Now the lady of the manor is here as well - and that matters locally!
Do you understand this, almost feudal, mindset I'm trying to convey?

 

[Nordic]

Mary and Alexandra will never be caught unprepared at an event - that could happen to Marie. But she would simply laugh it off I think - and get completely away with it!

Yes, but would Mary get away with things like that ? I doubt it. It's no surprise that she tries to do the best she can in her situation, whether she is a perfectionist or not.

Marie's life as a princess seems to be sooo much easier than Mary's...
She doesn't have half the demands on her, that Mary has. I have always had the impression that Marie is the one enjoying the attention (and nothing wrong with that) and that Mary has learnt to live with it, because she has to.

 

[American Dane]

Yes, but would Mary get away with things like that ? I doubt it. It's no surprise that she tries to do the best she can in her situation, whether she is a perfectionist or not.

Marie's life as a princess seems to be sooo much easier than Mary's...
She doesn't have half the demands on her, that Mary has. I have always had the impression that Marie is the one enjoying the attention (and nothing wrong with that) and that Mary has learnt to live with it, because she has to.

Completely agree with above especially the bolded

 

[Nordic]

Mary is also very much influenced by Frederik, in the sense that when he is around she's much less aware of her role. She is much more relaxed even to the point of being almost girlish. Her perfectionist streak takes second place. And that is something that is so very appealing to so many, me included.
Mary resembles QMII in the sense that they are both very good at their jobs, but when they are on the job with their husbands, that's when we often see the true QMII and Mary bubble up.

True, but it's obvious that it's easier to be girlish and playful if she has someone to be that with. She can't really be girlish and playful with the the mair or minister or some other dignitary sitting beside her.

 

[Muhler]

Yes, but would Mary get away with things like that ? I doubt it. It's no surprise that she tries to do the best she can in her situation, whether she is a perfectionist or not.

Marie's life as a princess seems to be sooo much easier than Mary's...
She doesn't have half the demands on her, that Mary has. I have always had the impression that Marie is the one enjoying the attention (and nothing wrong with that) and that Mary has learnt to live with it, because she has to.

No, she wouldn't. Or more correctly, she has set a standard, where it would cause raised eyebrows if she messed things up. - As did Alexandra.
On the other hand, Mary has so much credit in the bank that when she makes mistakes she gets of lightly. - Yeah okay, mistakes happen.
- Where in a similar situation our Marie would charm her way out, and get off because of her personality.
I don't buy the argument about the secondary Princess necessarily having an easier time. There are plenty of examples to the contrary.
It still depends very much on how she is and how she approach her role. It does help to stand a little to the back, but it doesn't protect you if you screw up too much.

Having said that, as much as I like Marie, she's not Mary. They are different, it's a different leaque. And Marie's approach to her role within the DRF may be less to do with lack of ambitions and more to do with realising her own abillities and being contend with being second.

I agree with you that Marie, and Alexandra too, likes the attention. Simply because of the attention, I believe. Where Mary is more reserved and perhaps more inclined to be aware of the attention in relation to her role as Crown Princess. In that respect she resembles Queen Ingrid.

QMII on the other hand also has a theatrical streak which sometimes surfaces. There is a little showwoman inside her wanting to get out.

True, but it's obvious that it's easier to be girlish and playful if she has someone to be that with. She can't really be girlish and playful with the the mair or minister or some other dignitary sitting beside her.

Hardly
But that doesn't mean she would be girlish with her husband either. There are other princesses who don't become girlish and bubble over in the presence of their husbands.

What I meant is that it's nice to see when that happens. It's nice to also see that side of their personality.

This illustrates what I mean: http://www.box.net/shared/fyc0yx3qisbq9nxnkbmu

 

[Nordic]

I don't buy the argument about the secondary Princess necessarily having an easier time. There are plenty of examples to the contrary.


What I meant is that it's nice to see when that happens. It's nice to also see that side of their personality.

Are there? Maybe I'm thinking mostly about the press. The tabloids that have written so many nasty, unfair and twisted articles about Mary, don't seem to bother to come up with these things about Marie. Or am I wrong? I don't follow the M&J threads at all. I have gotten this impression only by reading Danish newspapers.


I think there are lots of things we don't know about Mary's personality.
It would have been great to see pics of Mary playing air guitar at Frederik's birthday party...

 

[Muhler]

Are there? Maybe I'm thinking mostly about the press. The tabloids that have written so many nasty, unfair and twisted articles about Mary, don't seem to bother to come up with these things about Marie. Or am I wrong? I don't follow the M&J threads at all. I have gotten this impression only by reading Danish newspapers.


I think there are lots of things we don't know about Mary's personality.
It would have been great to see pics of Mary playing air guitar at Frederik's birthday party...

Oh yes, Fergie is one who springs to mind. She was welcomed as a refreshing addition to the BRF, albeit still a secondary princess.
As you know, that didn't turn out well. - And while she was still a princess mind you.
Princess Madeleine has had some hard time as well.

Actually the Danish press have been fairly lenient towards our Marie. She did however get a pretty rough treatment initially! She learned the hard lesson as one of the first things and she had to go from there.- Perhaps that was a blessing in disguise?

Yeah, I'd like to see Mary freewheeling (idiom) as well.
But on the other hand, when looking at QMII in full regalia, who would imagine her dancing around her husband, showering him with petals, while singing his praise?

 

[Duke of Marmalade]

No, she wouldn't. Or more correctly, she has set a standard, where it would cause raised eyebrows if she messed things up. - As did Alexandra.

I think the standard was set by Alexandra and Mary had to live up to it. Good for her that both women are similar with respect to determination, professionalism etc. Marie would have gotten into hot waters in this situation I guess.

Denmark was lucky to have Alexandra to set this standard, I believe. In other countries, the standards are much lower with the CP travelling for months, having burnouts or needing time off after a few weeks of "working" and nobody cares.

 

[Muhler]

I think the standard was set by Alexandra and Mary had to live up to it. Good for her that both women are similar with respect to determination, professionalism etc. Marie would have gotten into hot waters in this situation I guess.

Denmark was lucky to have Alexandra to set this standard, I believe. In other countries, the standards are much lower with the CP travelling for months, having burnouts or needing time off after a few weeks of "working" and nobody cares.

Yeah, but then both women had and has a pretty impressive mentor in QMII, who again had even more impressive mentor in Queen Ingrid.

 

[Nordic]

Actually the Danish press have been fairly lenient towards our Marie. She did however get a pretty rough treatment initially! She learned the hard lesson as one of the first things and she had to go from there.- Perhaps that was a blessing in disguise?

But on the other hand, when looking at QMII in full regalia, who would imagine her dancing around her husband, showering him with petals, while singing his praise?

I meant in Denmark.
If being called a "blabbermouth", which was her own fault, BTW, really is the worst thing that has been written about her, Marie really hasn't suffered that much, IMO...She hasn't had the full machinery of EB on her back so far, like
Mary has had. Maybe the CP has her position to thank for that.

Queen M dancing and showering PH with petals must have been about 40 years ago, right?!

 

[Muhler]

I meant in Denmark.
If being called a "blabbermouth", which was her own fault, BTW, really is the worst thing that has been written about her, Marie really hasn't suffered that much, IMO...She hasn't had the full machinery of EB on her back so far, like
Mary has had. Maybe the CP has her position to thank for that.

Queen M dancing and showering PH with petals must have been about 40 years ago, right?!

Being ridiculed and dismissed is hardly fun. Not as one of your first experiences with the press.

IRRC PH was showered with petals when he turned 70.

 

[Nordic]

Being ridiculed and dismissed is hardly fun. Not as one of your first experiences with the press.

No, of course it isn't, but after that she really hasn't had very much heat from the press.

 

[camelot23ca]

I meant in Denmark.
If being called a "blabbermouth", which was her own fault, BTW, really is the worst thing that has been written about her, Marie really hasn't suffered that much, IMO...She hasn't had the full machinery of EB on her back so far, like
Mary has had. Maybe the CP has her position to thank for that.

Queen M dancing and showering PH with petals must have been about 40 years ago, right?!

I think the difference in treatment when comparing Mary with Marie is based on their respective positions in Denmark. Mary, as the wife of the Crown Prince and future King, has a much more high profile role to play. I think Mary and Frederik, (and their children), are seen as individuals but also as representatives of Denmark, so there may be a lot more emotion wrapped up in how people think of them. The stakes are higher for The Crown Princess than they are for the wife of the second son and that would be true regardless of who Frederik and Joachim married.
There seems to have been a huge amount of expectation and excitement surrounding Mary from the time she married Frederik. I think that's overall a good thing but it also means she's never had the luxury of remaining in the shadows for awhile to learn the ropes and maybe make a few mistakes without having it turn into a major deal. She's had to be 'on' right from the start and I think she's taken this very seriously.

 

[MARG]

. . . . . . Queen M dancing and showering PH with petals must have been about 40 years ago, right?!

I had to laugh when I read you somewhat snarky comment, most probably based on the regal pose that Queen Margrethe strikes when on duty. But you forget, this is the Queen that wears The Poppies with the same élan as the crown jewels!

. . . . . . . IRRC PH was showered with petals when he turned 70.

. . . . . . Isn't that wonderful! Oh to be a woman married that long and still be so much in love with him to behave like a young woman in the first romantic blush of love, dancing around and showering petals. How utterly divine, romantic and downright enviable.

 

[Nordic]

I had to laugh when I read you somewhat snarky comment, most probably based on the regal pose that Queen Margrethe strikes when on duty. But you forget, this is the Queen that wears The Poppies with the same élan as the crown jewels!

. . . . . . Isn't that wonderful! Oh to be a woman married that long and still be so much in love with him to behave like a young woman in the first romantic blush of love, dancing around and showering petals. How utterly divine, romantic and downright enviable.

Absolutely! I agree. My comment was certainly not meant as somewhat snarky...Maybe I should have used this smilie:
I probably had the picture of the young Henri in my mind... I could have danced around him myself, throwing petals...

I would love to see The Poppies on Mary...It would give people something to write about...

 

[marine2109]

Margaret: Think that Frederick wanted me

Billed-Bladet - Margrethe: Tænk at Frederik ville have mig med

Google Google Translate

 

[Muhler]

BB has a number of short articles about the various Monarch's relationship with their children-in-law. In particular the crown Princes/ses.

BB's Marianne Singer writes that QMII has a good relationship with her daughters-in-law and although she's not the one to offer advise all the time: "One shouldn't trouble people with that. But we have talked about things and they have asked: Should we do that? Do you, mother-in-law, think that's a good idea? Things like that. Fortunately they are sweet (good) to come if there is something they are in doubt about".
QMII praise her daughters-in-law for being super-moms and a good support for their husbands and good representatives for Denmark: "I think they are doing absolutely splendidly both of them".

She said about Mary to CNN: "I genuinely like her and she knows that, I hope. And if you genuinely like a person then it's so much easier to help them".
QMII is in no doubt Mary will become a good queen: "I have a great confidence in her. She has been very, very competent, in the sense that she has tackled her role herself, so it has been easy helping her".

The others mentioned are Queen Sofia and Letizia, Queen Sonja and Mette Marit, Queen Silvia and Daniel, Queen Elizabeth and Camilla, Queen Paola and Mathilde and Queen Beatrix and Maxima.

 

[Sun Lion]

Hi Everyone,

Here's a question I've had for a little while, that the recent abdication of Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands has brought up again - and this seemed the best thread to ask.

Is there the private formality amongst the DRF members, that there is in other Royal Houses?

I remember an anecdote coming out some years ago - (can't remember who sorry, but some-one who hadn't seen it before and so remarked on it publicly) - about witnessing the after midnight breakup of a private dinner party of a few of the older members of the British Royal Family - who'd known each other all their lives - Princess Alexandra, and the Duke of Kent I think, with Queen Elizabeth, and spouses.

Everyone bowed or curtsied, as well as expressing the usual warm farewells of family, even though it was very late and there was no-one about - i.e. private formalities after a family get together.

I also remember the authour Gwen Robyns, who became a personal friend of Princess Grace, saying in an interview on TV about how she, being somewhat older, sat down at the table at a private family lunch and then realised that Princess Grace and the three children stood about waiting - for quite a while. They didn't sit until Prince Ranier arrived and sat down.

I've seen some public bowing and curtsies amongst the DRF, and can imagine staff giving a nod of the head at the beginning of the day's work or start of a meeting, but is there this same level of formality in private amongst the actual family? Or maybe just to Queen Margrethe as Sovereign?

Does Princess Marie curtsey to CP Mary as her role has a higher status? Does Joachim to Frederick?

The Australian women's magazines have taken Queen Beatrix's announcement and printed up a two page story - "Mary To Be Queen" - ! - (with an old photo of Mary, with Frederick, formally attired with their white elephants, waving as if at their coronation already.)

I can see CP Mary will need to curtsey to CP Maxima when she is crowned, but is there an order of precedence amongst all the Crown Princess of Europe?

I'm thinking they're all on an equal footing at the moment, though there was some magazine buzz a while back about the British "blood" princess vs those who married "higher" and who had to curtsey to who, and I remember the anecdote of Princess Michael of Kent telling Diana not to think of curtseying to her if they met on their shared staircase - after Diana lost her HRH and went down in rank.

How formal with each other are the DRF behind closed doors?

Thanks Everyone,

Cheers, Sun Lion.

(P.S. - another interesting British Royal Family formality was - is? - the father kissing the sons on the forehead as a greeting.)

 

[Muhler]

It's my clear impression that members of the DRF don't bow and curtsey in private. They kiss each other on the cheeks but that's about it.

Mary and our Marie do indeed curtsey to QMII and PH, when the show is on. However, I haven't noticed Marie ever curtsying to Mary. Just as I haven't seen Princess Benedikte curtsey to QMII. - That would also strike me personally, and I think most Danes as well, as a bit odd. They are after all close family.
That thing may change once Mary become a queen, but we'll see.

Joachim doesn't bow or even nod his head to Frederik, not even when the show is running. That would be seen as very odd by the Danes and I think Frederik would be very uncomfortable with that.

I don't believe there is an order of precedence among the European CP's. Most of them are personal friends and they probably regard each other as a kind of colleagues. And as such the formalities are not that important.
The current CP's will bow/curtsey to WA&M simply because they become king and queen but once the doors are closed I think they will be just as informal as they have always been amongs each other.

 

[Sun Lion]

Hi Muhler - thanks for such speedy feedback.

I'm not suprised at your info regarding the Danish Royals - makes sense to treat each other as family members rather than as their roles.

(I think that's why the witness to the dinner party amongst the British Royal leaked his story - it struck him to see such formality amongst people well-known to each other, who presumably just finished a jolly evening in each other's company, and with no-one else about to notice any formality or it's absence - to still act in this very formal way with one another.)

Cheers, Sun Lion.

 

[Roskilde]

I think this gif is pretty interesting.
We always see how Mary curtsey to Margrethe when the show is on. But when the cameras are off it is a completely normal and warmly hug between mother in law and daughter in law

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0ujswTK1m1qgmfwso1_r1_250.gif

 

[Archduchess Zelia]

Is that from Kongehuset Indefra? It's a really lovely gif nevertheless. It's so nice to see what a great relationship QMII has to Mary (and Marie and Alexandra, for that matter).

 

[FasterB]

Is that from Kongehuset Indefra? It's a really lovely gif nevertheless. It's so nice to see what a great relationship QMII has to Mary (and Marie and Alexandra, for that matter).

Yes, that´s from "Kongehuset Indefra"

 

[Roskilde]

Queen Margrethe last year about helping CP Mary along in her role in the mornarchy

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lywk5khhAJ1qgmfwso1_r1_500.gif


'I really like her very much indeed and she, I hope, knows that and feels that, ‘cause when you really like people, you can help them so much more easily, but she’s been very, very competent in the way she’s tackled her role. So it’s been very, very easy to help along, and she comes and asks me, “What should we do about that?” “What do you think about that?” I feel very confident in her, and I think we’ve got a very good relationship indeed. A warm relationship.'

 

[Rocketmom]

Any speculation on how Mary and Marie get along? When I've seen them in videos--in very limited times on Youtube--they don't really seem to interact with each other. They each just seem to stay with their own families.

 

[Muhler]

Any speculation on how Mary and Marie get along? When I've seen them in videos--in very limited times on Youtube--they don't really seem to interact with each other. They each just seem to stay with their own families.

There are plenty of photos of the two of them chatting and smiling.

It's my clear impression that they get along fine. I don't think they are particular close and I don't think they call each other to chat every week.
My impression is that when they meet, they have no problems chatting away and feel comfortable in each other's company.
Frederik and Joachim also laugh and chat when they meet.

And nowadays they can call, text or use Facebook when updating each other, so they don't have to see each other every week in order to keep in touch.

 

[hkittybaby]

Any speculation on how Mary and Marie get along? When I've seen them in videos--in very limited times on Youtube--they don't really seem to interact with each other. They each just seem to stay with their own families.

I was wondering about their relationship too.

They seem to be friends although not the best friends.

When they're are together we rarely seem them chatting or close to each other.

 

[dbarn67]

They seem to get along fine. Well enough for Mary to give Marie some of her daughters hand-me-downs. We saw them getting along and laughing together at the Malene Birger fashion show last fall. IMO they are friendly sisters-in-law.

 

[liv]

They seem to get along fine. Well enough for Mary to give Marie some of her daughters hand-me-downs. We saw them getting along and laughing together at the Malene Birger fashion show last fall. IMO they are friendly sisters-in-law.

Yes. and Mary is godmother to little Prince Henrik