Princess Diana's Relationship with her Stepmother, Raine Spencer

[hsieh]

princess diana admitted on video tape that she once pushed her stepmom down the stairs because she was angry that her stepmom didn't say hi to her real mom during some event. if you or me pushed an old lady down the stairs we would be kissing the pavement with a german shepard attached to our leg and handcuffed. so my question is why does princess diana have so many fans when she admitted on tape she pushed her stepmom (an old lady at that) down the stairs because she didn't say hi to her mom?

 

[Paula**]

Oh my god I didn't know about that
Diana was a really good woman, but doing that was really cruel and almost a crime ;]
she was very wrong doing it oO

 

[Jackswife]

I think it's possible to be a fan of Diana's while at the same time realizing that she had her faults and flaws like anyone else. Not excusing her bratty behavior to Raine by any means-and there were other instances throughout her life when Diana could be very petty and cruel-but she had good qualities as well.

 

[Vanesa]

Well...I suppose that all of us have a "dark side"...I wouldn't push anyone down the stairs and much, much less and elderly lady. I think that Diana never accepted her parents divorce, but doing that is awful...

Vanesa.

 

[Chu-Chi]

That was mean but at the same time I can understand Diana's loyalty to her mother and wanting to "stand up" for her. And at the same time Raine could have said hello or at least be cordial...

 

[altagrace]

One aspect of popular culture -regardless of ethnic or cultural background- by that I mean popular nursery rhymes, legend, films, stories like Cinderella etc- is that the step-mother is almost always portrayed as "wicked" or "bad". And these images persist over the centuries. As a result of this somehow many people begin to assume a step mother is by definition bad for you and people accept that it is "OK" or fair game to hate a stepmother. Unfortunately when stories of step-mother "hate" are told 90% of the time people find good excuses for the vilain (oh well poor thing he/she misses her mom) And hardly anyone ever sticks up for the poor stepmother, do they....

 

[Vanesa]

Altagrace is right. You can't excuse Diana in this one. Her behavior toward Raine was awfully wicked. You can't said that she was a bad person for that, but when she pushed her stepmother downstairs, she did a very bad thing.

Just my opinion.

Vanesa

 

[sirmax]

princess diana admitted on video tape that she once pushed her stepmom down the stairs because she was angry that her stepmom didn't say hi to her real mom during some event. if you or me pushed an old lady down the stairs we would be kissing the pavement with a german shepard attached to our leg and handcuffed. so my question is why does princess diana have so many fans when she admitted on tape she pushed her stepmom (an old lady at that) down the stairs because she didn't say hi to her mom?

Seriously, I dont think that this is true. Many things were said after the Princess of Wales divorce and death. I admire HRH late Princess of Wales but there is things which is not to take for granted.

 

[michelleq]

Diana definitely had a dark side and it came out when she started believing her press. I was/am a big Diana fan, more so in the beginning. But towards the late 80's my admiration dwindled basically to her sense of style and the manner in which she raised her sons. I did not like what I perceived to be done against her, but again, she felt that she was the Heir to the Throne, not the spouse. We all have faults, but I had never read that she pushed her stepmom down the stairs. How horrible and vindictive. She projected a wonderful facade, but even in the end, it started to crack considerably. But I am still a big admirer of Diana, but she was not the great victim that she displayed to the world. She could sling it with the best. But again, she also had wonderful attributes.

 

[sirmax]

...I wouldn't push anyone down the stairs and much, much less and elderly lady....

Vanesa.

Just imagine pushing The Queen!!!!!!

 

[michelleq]

"Off with your head!!!"

Or the Corgis would attack.

 

[naida]

Diana was just a child when her mother left her and she didn't accepted other woman in her father's life. The step-mother was not ''elderly lady'' at that time. Later, Diana was very clause to her step mom, even more then with her mother.

Diana didn't have a dark side more then any one of us. She was very sensible and caring person.

 

[trippc]

I'm not excusing Diana's behaviour at all, but I think her stepmother was rather mean to her. I obviously don't know the full story, but I think its more than she just didn't say hello to her birth-mother.

 

[Charlotte1]

All the Spencer children disliked Raine, she married into the family when Diana was in her teens, so quite a long time after her parents divorced. Diana probably resented having to share her father with another woman. The children were somewhat nasty to Raine but saw her in a different light after Earl Spencer had a major stroke and Raine helped to nurse him back to being able to live a relatively normal life. The children then were fairly civilised to Raine, but after the Earl died she moved out of Althrop. Diana's brother had many of Raine's things packed into green bin liners and removed. After Diana was divorced she did become friendlier with Raine, much more than they had ever been when her father was alive.
Raine remarried a few years after Earl Spencer died, and she lost the Raine, Countess Spencer title as she took her new husband's name. But that marriage was short lived and she decided to go back to being 'Raine, Countess Spencer' obviously more social clout.

 

[assia]

I think that eventually they were quite friendly to each other. Didn't Diana help Raine to get a managing job at Harrods through Mohamed Al-Fayed ? I know that after her divorce Diana often went for lunch with Raine.So they did work out their differences.

 

[sirmax]

All the Spencer children disliked Raine....

She excused herself later on and Raine became one of her closest Spencer Family member.

 

[hsieh]

nobody has to say hi to you if they don't want to

That was mean but at the same time I can understand Diana's loyalty to her mother and wanting to "stand up" for her. And at the same time Raine could have said hello or at least be cordial...

you don't push a person (especially an old lady) down the stairs because they don't say hi to your mom. she could have died or broken a bone. not to mention the emotional cruelty of being pushed down the stairs. if diana was truley a good person she would not have done that. therefore i think diana was a person who put on a front. she married prince charles for the attention. nobody has to say hi to you if they don't want to. diana's action proved her mindset was "if you refuse to say hi to my mom i will punish you". that's a bad person.

 

[Squidgy]

Diana was a complex person and had very complex relationships, especially with her family. I admired her very much as a person, but was certainly not blind to the fact that she, like all of us, had her share of faults. One of them, I think, was her need to exaggerate the truth. I believe her brother even commented on this to the press at one point. When she says on that Settelen tape that she pushed her step-mother down the stairs, I really believe she is being very liberal with the truth. She also says on that tape that she slapped her father in the face because he didn't tell any of his children that he was marrying Raine - they found out by reading about it in the newspapers. Who knows what really happened? Personally, I think that Diana felt like a victim for most of her life, and that when talking to Settelen, she tried to make herself come across as someone who was fighting back. Hence perhaps the need to exaggerate ... And we need to remember that this tape was made just 3 months before her separation from Charles - in Sept 1992, when Diana was under so much stress. I think at that point in her life, she was a vulnerable person, trying to give the impression of being strong!

I think she had a lot of anger not just towards Raine, but also to her parents. Her mother, for not being around for much of her childhood, her father for seemingly abandoning the kids by marrying Raine. Perhaps Raine was the safest person to take this anger out on. Since they had never been extremely close, Diana by expressing her anger, would really have nothing to lose.

It is worth remembering that they did seem to patch things up. Within a year of her father dying, Diana extended an olive branch to Raine by inviting her to lunch at KP and thanking her step mom for taking care of her father. From then onwards the two would often lunch together & attend other social events.

They seemed to be on good terms when Diana died. Just two months before her death, the two ladies were seen sharing a laugh at a preview for Diana's auction dresses.


Photos: Corbis & Getty

 

[Warren]

Thank you Squidgy for your considered take on events.

Since we don't know the facts of the "pushing Raine down the stairs" story it may be better to follow Squidy's lead and concentrate on the changing nature of the relationship between Diana and her stepmother.

I would also ask members to consider the use of language in their posts and to avoid inflammatory and sweeping statements.
We have no intention of returning to the era of helmets and flak jackets.

thanks,
Warren
British Forums moderator

 

[msleiman]

Where did she say that she pushed Raine down the stairs? I remember something about this, but I was thinking that it was her sister Sara that did it not Diana.

 

[ysbel]

Diana made the statement on a tape she was making for the Andrew Morton book. The transcripts are on this site from NBC. Like Warren and Squidgy I take with a grain of salt a lot of what Diana said during these interviews.

But I agree its disturbing whether Diana really pushed Raine down or or just said that she did. I wouldn't like it if one of my friends did that or even exaggerated when said that she did.

 

[msleiman]

Even if she is making it up, that is bad enough. I really can not understand why any one would do that, must less tell anyone about it. If she had really pushed Raine down the stairs , I can not see why Raine or her father would talking to her again. I would not care if she was my daughter or the princess of wales. I would never speak to her again. That is just wrong.

 

[maryshawn]

Diana and her stepmother became quite close in the last years of Diana's life. They lunched together often and Raine became a close confidante. I think earlier in their relationship, all of the Spencer children were very unaccepting of Raine and treated her poorly. By the time Earl Spencer married Raine, they'd become used to him focusing strictly on them. When Raine came on the scene, the amount of time he spent with them changed. When he had his stroke, Raine, according to some of the children, kept them away from his bedside, supposedly to help him rest and heal. That irritated them. Then, as it became more expensive to keep up the family home, Earl Spencer sold off some valuable portraits and paintings. The kids blamed that on Raine, saying it was being done in order to keep up her grand style of living. They tried to intervene but Earl Spencer told the media his children, including Diana, had no idea how much it cost to keep Althrop running and chided them for their "juvenile" behavior.

The interesting thing is that while the children bucked Raine and were quite harsh with her, they accepted their mother's new husband readily and liked him very much. I'm not sure why that is but perhaps it's because of their concern that their father was going to sell off most of Althrop's valuables--and blamed Raine for it.

 

[rhenae]

I don't really know what to believe about Diana pushing Raine down the stairs, but thankfully in later life they became good friends. I even think that I read somewhere that Diana said she was closer to Raine than her own mother. If it were true I can kinda sympathize with Diana by taking up for her mother. I am glad that they were able to become friends.

 

[TheTruth]

I think the good relationship between Diana and Raine began when Johnnie died. At the funeral, Raine was devastated and I think Diana took her hand and help her to walk behind the coffin. Since then, we could see that Diana and Raine were in good terms.

 

[Brooklyn]

Thanks for posting those photos of Diana and Raine. It is good to see that they were able to put aside their differences and enjoyed some happy times.

 

[TheTruth]

Yes, although it's sad that didn't happen with Diana and her Mother Frances ...

 

[TheTruth]

Another picture of Raine and Diana taken in 1996. It shows again that she was very close to her stepmother in the end of her life.
ImageShack - Hosting :: 2466795300101609354hogdhz9.jpg

 

[BeatrixFan]

When I met Raine Spencer, she was walking extremely badly and she asked if she could hold onto my arm which I of course allowed her to. She was a gorgeous character and I really didn't know much about her then but when I ask the person hosting the event about her walking, she said that she'd walked badly since "the stairs incident".

 

[TheTruth]

When I met Raine Spencer, she was walking extremely badly and she asked if she could hold onto my arm which I of course allowed her to. She was a gorgeous character and I really didn't know much about her then but when I ask the person hosting the event about her walking, she said that she'd walked badly since "the stairs incident".

I believe that if Diana actually did it and injured Raine to this point, I don't think the 2 women would have been in good terms after.