moby
Serene Highness
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2003
- Messages
- 1,316
I’ve also enjoyed reading the different takes here. There are certainly strong points to argue for or against the affair. Just some thoughts based on what I’ve read—
— On expecting Mary not to “tolerate” Fred’s infidelity, if this is indeed a case of one, what does that mean? Marriages are complex, some people’s hard lines are different from others’. Their positions aside, there are children to consider, all of whom, even the oldest two, are still very young. Just because this generation of royal women are not expected to “tolerate” infidelities, doesn’t mean they would automatically end their marriages when faced with this kind of crisis. If Mary chooses to forgive Fred, insists on couple’s therapy, insists on a change in behavior from him but ultimately decides to keep her family intact, then that is ultimately her choice and I find it problematic and unfair that there is an expectation for her to react in a certain way, one that ideally fulfills expectations of what modern royal women are supposed to do.
— I’ve also read that Fred was trying to fly under the radar and did not inform the authorities of his arrival. I find that tough to believe. It’s courtesy to let Spanish authorities know because though he is not yet Head of State, he is still a very high-ranking official and one close to the Spanish King. His security is partly the responsibility of either guardias or policía nacional (not sure which exactly) once he’s in Spain. If anything untoward had happened to him in those moments from arrival till Spain was officially notified he’s in the country, that would have been embarrassing for Spain. If I were Felipe, I’d be livid, so I do think there was some communication regarding his arrival and stay in the country. It’s not being casual flying under the radar and going against protocol, it’s being irresponsible.
- I get the wisdom behind palaces keeping quiet and not responding to salacious gossip, but I think this is not one of those instances. Frederik is deemed to be casual and a relaxed person, can’t it not be arranged for him be able to informally drop a few lines of “This story is absolutely false. It’s important for me to say this because I want there to be no doubt in anyone’s mind that it is untrue and they do nothing more than hurt my family,” or something like that, much like Prince William’s throwaway but impactful “We’re very much not a racist family” comment.
- I have no definitive judgment on the whole thing. I wasn’t there, can’t say if an affair happened or not but I judge Frederik for bad judgment. As has been pointed out, crucial questions seem to be (1) How long has he known Casanova and to what extent? Close friend he’s known for a while, or casually and spent the most time with her just that day as a stand-in for the friend who fell ill? (2) If the former, whose friend is she, his, Mary’s, or theirs? (3) Does the covid-ridden friend actually exist?
- Back to Frederik’s bad judgment, amazing to see years and years of good PR go down the drain from a few photos and stories. He really should have known that one can’t be too careful with these things. An important layer to this story is that he was seen with this particular woman with this particular reputation, that’s why the story is so believable. If he was just seen out to dinner, El Retiro, the Thyssen with her, that would have been story enough but being seen coming and going from her apartment? Oof.
— On expecting Mary not to “tolerate” Fred’s infidelity, if this is indeed a case of one, what does that mean? Marriages are complex, some people’s hard lines are different from others’. Their positions aside, there are children to consider, all of whom, even the oldest two, are still very young. Just because this generation of royal women are not expected to “tolerate” infidelities, doesn’t mean they would automatically end their marriages when faced with this kind of crisis. If Mary chooses to forgive Fred, insists on couple’s therapy, insists on a change in behavior from him but ultimately decides to keep her family intact, then that is ultimately her choice and I find it problematic and unfair that there is an expectation for her to react in a certain way, one that ideally fulfills expectations of what modern royal women are supposed to do.
— I’ve also read that Fred was trying to fly under the radar and did not inform the authorities of his arrival. I find that tough to believe. It’s courtesy to let Spanish authorities know because though he is not yet Head of State, he is still a very high-ranking official and one close to the Spanish King. His security is partly the responsibility of either guardias or policía nacional (not sure which exactly) once he’s in Spain. If anything untoward had happened to him in those moments from arrival till Spain was officially notified he’s in the country, that would have been embarrassing for Spain. If I were Felipe, I’d be livid, so I do think there was some communication regarding his arrival and stay in the country. It’s not being casual flying under the radar and going against protocol, it’s being irresponsible.
- I get the wisdom behind palaces keeping quiet and not responding to salacious gossip, but I think this is not one of those instances. Frederik is deemed to be casual and a relaxed person, can’t it not be arranged for him be able to informally drop a few lines of “This story is absolutely false. It’s important for me to say this because I want there to be no doubt in anyone’s mind that it is untrue and they do nothing more than hurt my family,” or something like that, much like Prince William’s throwaway but impactful “We’re very much not a racist family” comment.
- I have no definitive judgment on the whole thing. I wasn’t there, can’t say if an affair happened or not but I judge Frederik for bad judgment. As has been pointed out, crucial questions seem to be (1) How long has he known Casanova and to what extent? Close friend he’s known for a while, or casually and spent the most time with her just that day as a stand-in for the friend who fell ill? (2) If the former, whose friend is she, his, Mary’s, or theirs? (3) Does the covid-ridden friend actually exist?
- Back to Frederik’s bad judgment, amazing to see years and years of good PR go down the drain from a few photos and stories. He really should have known that one can’t be too careful with these things. An important layer to this story is that he was seen with this particular woman with this particular reputation, that’s why the story is so believable. If he was just seen out to dinner, El Retiro, the Thyssen with her, that would have been story enough but being seen coming and going from her apartment? Oof.