Diana's Legacy: What is left or what will be left?

[Ish]

Yes, you make a good point. There are treatments for mental illnesses, and perhaps she should have investigated those more rather than indulging in new-age therapies and occult practitioners. But then isn't denial a huge part of serious mental illness? I realize that her having a mental illness has never been "medically confirmed", but it wouldn't be. That will be up for the historians to discover when things are unsealed some time in the future.

That is very true, although I have to wonder how a woman who claims to have attempted suicide by throwing herself down a flight of stairs while pregnant can deny that she herself is depressed, if not mentally ill, and not seek out some degree of help.

That's not meant to be an attack on Diana, because I realize that that line of thinking is common among people who have a mental illness. Denying that you have a problem, refusing to get help, and blaming others for your problems is something that happens with mental illnesses. Not that Diana was the only one responsible for her problems, but she did avoid accepting any responsibility for them.

I think in the argument of "Diana was mentally unstable and needed help" we can criticize Charles and other members of the family for not recognizing that she needed professional help. Diana not getting help herself can be seen as a result of her illness, but that her husband didn't seek to help his wife is very much negligence on his part, although it is likely that at least part of his attitude can be attributed to the stigmatization of mental illness.

 

[sirhon11234]

IMO Diana did have periods when she was mentally ill. I don't believe that it's wrong to say she suffered mentally throughout some parts of her life. Sadly some of her detractors have used her mental illness as a means to put her down.
I wish one day there will no longer be a stigma of mental illness.

 

[Dman]

Diana had her moments but she had all her marbles too. She once said that she was "thick as a plank" but she meant it as a joke and didn't like that her quote stuck with the media. I think she was a smart cookie but had her own way of dealing with things and she admitted in her 1995 interview that she knew some of her actions got her into trouble and wasn't for the best.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

...I think in the argument of "Diana was mentally unstable and needed help" we can criticize Charles and other members of the family for not recognizing that she needed professional help. Diana not getting help herself can be seen as a result of her illness, but that her husband didn't seek to help his wife is very much negligence on his part, although it is likely that at least part of his attitude can be attributed to the stigmatization of mental illness.

I am not sure that Charles and/or her sisters didn't try and get help for her. Long before the Morton book, there were reports that Diana suffered from an eating disorder. The reports arose because one reporter (camping outside their home) noted a car that came and went regularly, checked out the license number, and found that it was registered to a doctor who specialized in eating disorders.

I suspect Charles called him. Charles may have done so after speaking with Diana's sister, Sarah, who confronted Diana about her eating disorder. It's also possible that Diana could have called the doctor herself. If Diana did, Charles wouldn't have had to do so.

From personal experience, there is very little the family can do if the person with a mental illness refuses to get help. You also have to remember that eating disorders were only recognized as a psychiatric illness in the late 70s, so it is understandable that Charles and the royal family didn't know a lot about them in the early 80s.

 

[Dman]

We don't know that Diana refused to get help for her disorder. A lot wasn't known about it in those days but Diana said that she did her homework about the disorder. She did get some control over the situation though.

 

[MARG]

Diana had her moments but she had all her marbles too. She once said that she was "thick as a plank" but she meant it as a joke and didn't like that her quote stuck with the media. I think she was a smart cookie but had her own way of dealing with things and she admitted in her 1995 interview that she knew some of her actions got her into trouble and wasn't for the best.

She may very well have been a smart cookie. But suffering from depression or such does not render one insane nor a reservation in the nearest rubber cell. Conversely, throwing yourself down a set of stairs is not the act of someone "in their right mind", but rather "while the balance of her mind was disturbed".

I find it a little difficult to cope with the notion that one is either "sane" or "barking mad". We do not live in a black and white world but rather that of the myriad shades of grey. There are so very many types of mental health issues and varying levels and degree if any given diagnosis. And the notion that her husband or family was to blame if she did not receive help is a nonsense. The victim needs to want help and unless they are a danger to themselves or others necessitating a committal to a mental health facility, there really is nothing anyone else can do.

I believe that Diana was certainly mentally unwell at times but was also sharp, witty and astute at others. She was, like most people, a complex human being.

 

[Dman]

A special programme made to celebrate Princess Diana's 30th birthday on July 1st 1991- Sorry if this been posted already.

The Princess Of Wales At 30 - YouTube


Never Seen This Video before of Diana Shopping at Tesco:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl7YPbSu1O8

 

[Dman]

Queen of hearts: Princess Diana remembered 16 years on:
THE Princess of Wales died 16 years ago this Saturday. As the buzz builds around a major new film about her life, four of our favourite writers describe what Diana meant to them-
Queen of hearts: Princess Diana remembered 16 years on | Royal | News | Daily Express

 

[Valerie Rose]

Thankyou for that link, Dman: lovely articles. Unforgettable time.

 

[COUNTESS]

Those who have needed a scapegoat, have used a dead woman to promote their unsavory thoughts. Some lived less than exemplary lives, but they are alive, today and can spread anything they want. She had problems, she married problems, she was kind and decent. She was beautiful and had two wonderful children, who still mourn her. That is the testament.

 

[Kotroman]

Wikipedia's got a fascinating article about another Lady Diana Spencer, who was meant to marry a Prince of Wales and who also died young. Apparently, the future Princess of Wales was named after this lady See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana_Russell,_Duchess_of_Bedford

 

[COUNTESS]

Kate could not exist, today, in the world she is allowed to live in, without her mother-in-law's rocky life. All that is modern and acceptable is because of what went before. The RF was dragged into acceptance, that the time of their being sacrosanct, was gone. Diana was multi-faceted. She had good point and bad. Difficult and loving. She wasn't the one dimension view of the RF until that time. By the way, it is not fans, she was part of a historical venue, not a music or movie star. She is part of history, I am sure the RF wishes she wasn't.

 

[blauerengel]

I fully agree with you,COUNTESS,Diana certainly changed the BRF and these changes have allowed her children and Catherine to have a very different life and much more freedom than she had when she married into the family.
I only wish that these reforms and changes had been possible without so much tears and unhappiness,in other European dynasties the transition into modernity was less rocky and dramatic,without so much suffering for the people involved.

 

[Tsaritsa]

I fully agree with you,COUNTESS,Diana certainly changed the BRF and these changes have allowed her children and Catherine to have a very different life and much more freedom than she had when she married into the family.
I only wish that these reforms and changes had been possible without so much tears and unhappiness,in other European dynasties the transition into modernity was less rocky and dramatic,without so much suffering for the people involved.

Blauerengel, omelettes can't be made without eggs first being broken.

 

[georgiea]

I fully agree with you,COUNTESS,Diana certainly changed the BRF and these changes have allowed her children and Catherine to have a very different life and much more freedom than she had when she married into the family.
I only wish that these reforms and changes had been possible without so much tears and unhappiness,in other European dynasties the transition into modernity was less rocky and dramatic,without so much suffering for the people involved.

So true to you both-COUNTESS + blauerengel. I think Diana, Princess of Wales paid with her life for the BRF to modernized.

 

[blauerengel]

Blauerengel, omelettes can't be made without eggs first being broken.

Well,it reminds me of people who believe the only way to solve a crisis is war...
Everyone his own opinion, but I prefer to disagree on this point

 

[US Royal Watcher]

Well,it reminds me of people who believe the only way to solve a crisis is war...
Everyone his own opinion, but I prefer to disagree on this point

I agree. The Queen has proven over the years that she is a reasonable, nonjudgmental, and realistic woman. Things were changing even before Charles and Diana's marriage went on the rocks in the late 80s. Andrew married Sarah, even though she had a "past," and Prince Edward was allowed to leave the military and have a different career. Princess Margaret divorced even before Charles and Diana started dating. I also think that Princess Anne would have been allowed to remarry even if Charles and Diana had been extremely happy at the time.

Another change is that people who marry into the royal family will be much more carefully vetted. I'm not talking about virginity. Changing times, not Diana, forced the royal family had to accept that future wives would not necessarily be virgins. But the family will know future spouses much better. There will still be divorces, however, and Diana and Charles paved the way for that in the future. Hopefully future couples will not feel the need to air their grievances the way Diana did.

Diana changed the way some members of the royal family approach public engagements--although Anne still does things her own way. Some of them are more hands on and relaxed.

The other change, and this is also Charles's legacy, is that future parents will be more hands on than the Queen was. Diana didn't do this alone. One of the reasons Charles married her is that he wanted a loving mother for his children. She was certainly a demonstrative, but not a perfect, mother.

 

[Skippyboo]

If Andrew was the heir instead of the spare would Sarah still be okay? I agree that the virginity issue is gone but what if Kate's former boyfriends had spoken out describing their wild nights with the future King's girlfriend.

Also Charles and Diana and now William and Kate could raise their kids without being the head of state. The Queen didn't have that choice in 1952.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

If Andrew was the heir instead of the spare would Sarah still be okay? I agree that the virginity issue is gone but what if Kate's former boyfriends had spoken out describing their wild nights with the future King's girlfriend.

It was certainly easier that Andrew married Sarah, especially after Diana had two boys. But I think if Charles hadn't married Diana, he would have had to reconsider that particular limitation--especially if it had become apparent Diana was not ready for marriage.

There are many young women who have refrained from sex, but they are a minority, and were in 1980. Diana was an anomaly within her own social circle. If 31-year old Charles had met a young woman he truly cared about and was otherwise perfect, I think the Queen would have bowed to reality and trusted that any past "friend" would be discrete.

If one of Kate's former boyfriends decides to speak out, they will deal with it. Most guys (or girls) would never do so, but it is only a matter of time before it happens.

 

[Dman]

Diana was a brilliant mother to William & Harry. Very hands on like their father and they were very loved by both. She may be gone but they carry on the love she gave them.

 

[Binny2]

Diana was a brilliant mother to William & Harry. Very hands on like their father and they were very loved by both. She may be gone but they carry on the love she gave them.

I don't think she was a brilliant mother. She wasn't even a good mother. She was an Okay mother. She couldn't control her symptoms and used her children to vent her emotional garbage. JMHO.

 

[Andolini]

I think Diana and Charles were both the best parents they knew HOW to be. it is very, very difficult being a parent, impossible to be a perfect parent. One thing, IMO, that I do not doubt is that both Charles and Diana really loved their two children. Maybe they did not always show this love in the best way possible at the time, but they loved their kids very much nonetheless. Just my 2 cents

 

[Dman]

William & Harry knows that their parents were good parents and they don't have a problem telling everyone this.

 

[PrincessKaimi]

There are no perfect parents, and the people whose views matter most are the children themselves.

 

[wyevale]

Diana, Princess of Wales paid with her life for the BRF to modernized.

Silly woman paid with her life because SHE DIDN'T FASTEN HER SEATBELT.

 

[Osipi]

Diana didn't pay for anything in losing her life. Her life was taken away from her.

Death is not a cashier's check or a promissory note and most certainly not a punishment. Some would even say its a reward we work all our lives toward.

 

[NGalitzine]

William and Harry were largely raised by nannies and by the school masters/tutors/housemates. No doubt both Charles and Diana loved their sons but I think it is true to say the boys were unfairly used during the War of the Wales.
I think Dianas legacy is that she remains a very divisive figure.

 

[Iluvbertie]

How anyone can describe Diana as a 'brilliant' mother is beyond me. She used, and emotionally abused, those boys and they are still suffering from that abuse today, particularly William. She encouraged them to not follow the rules e.g. taking Harry to a movie that was rated higher than his age - she snuck him in the side door but was found out and then tried to justify it as a 'birthday treat'. She publicly tried to destroy their father and the family that gave them a special status in the world in both book form as well as interview and lied to William about what she was going to say 'you will be proud of me' was what she told him - not 'I am going to trash your father and tell the world he isn't up to the job and you should be king next not him.'

Hardly 'brilliant' but adequate - all parents make mistakes in raising their kids and she made heaps of damaging mistakes that were also played out on the world stage - such as telling the press where she would be with them boys for a good photo op - and then she complained about the press and their coverage of them.

 

[BritishRoyalist]

I have to agree. She was a good mother for the fact that she loved her Sons but in no way was she Brilliant! That is a overstatement. She was not even close to Brilliant, She was far from brilliant And for the reasons that you listed above! On a Grade scale I would give Diana a B- at most.
.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

I doubt that either Harry or William is going to criticize either Diana or Charles publicly. Diana was a good mother, if not a very good mother for the boys when they were young. It was unfortunate that she fired their nanny when William was 4, but everyone makes mistakes. Although most people credit Diana for the decision to send the children to Eton, it was a joint decision with Charles.

Charles was a better parent when the kids were older, and certainly the better parent after the marriage broke down. Diana was NOT a good mother during the late 80s and into the 90s--and, no, Charles did not do exactly the same thing Diana did. It was terrible the way she treated William as a confident.

Good mothers wear their seatbelts--especially when racing down a street at twice the speed limit.

It will be interesting to see if George is sent to a boarding school. He will certainly be taken to amusement parks, movies and fast food places, as Diana and Charles (to a lesser extent) wanted.