Here is the point that just cannot be gotten around: Both for reasons of their own doing and for other reasons beyond their control, the York princesses have a poor public perception. Now, anytime they do something like go to Necker with the Bransons, or party with the Ecclestones, or go out clubbing, they are seen in a negative light -- and not just by the DM. It is unfortunate, but it is true. Diarist's comments show that well beyond the DM, socially they are disapproved and a bad perception has grown up around them.
So, in order to turn things around and get themselves into a position where eventually they can be more normal and not have everything they do dissected by the press and public, they have to be above reproach for a while. No clubbing, no Branson/Ecclestones/Euro trash partying, no hanging out too publicly at social events where their troubled mother is welcome.
That is why there was surprised commentary that they bypassed the Queen's lunch for the Branson wedding. If they were in good standing, I doubt it would have been a big deal and no one would have paid much attention. I just wonder where the PR people are... It's going to take a lot of good behaviour for them to be taken seriously. And Zonk, you are right: it isn't fair, but sometimes fair has nothing to do with it.
Everything you have said is true, Susanna, right down to the fact that basically some things are not fair.
The point I was trying to make was this: we are told that Prince Andrew still harbours a wish for his daughters to be part of the 'family firm', i.e. working royals. I don't have a problem with the York Princesses going to the wedding per se - as Zonk rightly points out, the Queen had no difficulties with this. BUT - and this really is a big BUT - if Beatrice and Eugenie still hope to be working royals, they have to 'keep their noses clean' and because - UNFAIRLY as I admit it is - the two princesses are being held to a higher standard than other royals, apparently because of - as I said, unfairly - the perceived 'lapses in judgement' on the part of their parents, Beatrice and Eugenie have to strive to appear 'whiter than white'....
Thus, I can well understand that the Queen would have no difficulties with B and E going off to Necker as 'private individuals', as potential royal family recruits, they really have to distance themselves from too much 'high life'. For example, I daresay they are off to Paddy McNally's Verbier chalet soon for their annual ski-ing holiday. Again, nothing wrong with that per se, particularly as McNally is a longtime family friend who can be relied on to be discreet, but in practice, as we all know, there are going to be some 'First they party in luxury in Necker and now, barely 4 weeks later, they ski in luxury in Verbier' pictures.
Without wishing to stray too much OT, I think that Edward and Sophie really have it right - not too many pictures of them 'living it up', ever. Even their beach holiday was spent in Portugal; no doubt it was at a pretty upscale holiday, but the image was one of enjoying the type of beach holiday that many of HM's ordinary subjects do - in other words, sandcastles and swimming in a place without the huge exclusitivity tag that Necker-the-private-island- has.
Thanks for allowing me to clarify my thinking,
Alex