I was seven when Diana died, and as a result the outpouring of grief was thing about her that I had paid any attention to. I became a complete Diana lover because of this. My belief in her perfection wanned as I learnt more about the soap opera. There was nothing I learnt that made me think "she was pathetic!", I just came to appreciate that she didn't glow, like the tears I saw as a seven year old, had me believe she did. She wasn't black hearted, but she just wasn't mentally healthy enough to handle the situation she found herself in
The Royal Family were not malicious, but they were ill equipt to deal with Diana's emotional instability. They could have just accepted Camilla's sexual experience in the 70's, and they could have just let Charles and Diana get a divorce earlier on, before infidelty was resorted to, but what's done is done, and they've learnt from their mistakes, as the acceptence of the newly minted Duke and Duchess of Camebridge proves
On the issue of charity, Diana was the first Royal to support AIDS patients, and campaign for the abolition of landmines, but all her other causes were ones that other Royals supported too. This is why the "People's Princess" tag annoys me. Does Princess Anne spend all her time at the spa?
Diana genuinely cared, but her black and white thinking had her convinced that because the Royals had increasingly rocky relationships with her, their low key support of their charities indicated a lack of real compassion.
As for the things that The Royal Family were made to do after Diana's death, I used to feel that they were right to comply, given that it was what the general public wanted, but now I feel that they shouldn't have, not because Diana wasn't worthy of any tribute (if they had stopped William and Harry from going to the hypothetical private funeral, then there would be cause for outrage) but because they didn't want to do it. They wanted to stay at Balmoral and comfort the young Princes. I find it ironic that people were calling for more normality, yet insisting that The Queen organise a funeral for a Daughter in law who she had been on very bad terms with, rather than being a shoulder for her grief stricken Grandsons to cry on.
The answer I gave to the poll was "other". There was no moral event horizon for me, its just easy to start seeing things in a new light, when a figure is so complex.