The Duchess of Cambridge Charities and Patronages 1: 2011- Sep 2022

[TLLK]

In the UK everyone, including volunteers, is vetted before they can get involved. All taxi drivers, school bus drivers, cleaners, teachers, you name it, has to go through these checks.

It's very similar in the U.S. I've been fingerprinted and checked at least 3 times as I am a teacher and volunteer. AYSO (youth soccer), Boy/Girl Scouts and other organizations require it as well.

 

[Kataryn]

That is all good and well done, but it#s so easy to put anybody who likes children and wants to help them under a kind of general suspicion.
Plus the way things are seen changes all the time - while we accept young girls dressed in very short skirts we cannot watch the once cult movie "Bilitis" without feeling that it caters to pedophilia.

There are many, many people in the Catholic scout movement and in the RC church who would never ever do something to hurt children. But there are those in every aspect of live who enjoy powergames and those using children are the easiest to come by - much satisfaction from not yet sophisticated or even suspecting children.

So what my friends, relatives and of course my family did was to take our children serious from a very early age and to tell them what to look out for, which situations to avoid (grown-ups eg normally don't ask children which way to drive but would do so in case of a planned abduction, so we advised them never to react and not to approach a car to answer questions). We told them that it is alright and necessary to say "no" to a situation they don't feel comfortable in. A cousin even explained what SSC means - not in a sexual way but you can judge any situation and your plan to become active in it considering the questions: Is it Safe? Is it Sane? And is it Consensual? Last point is important: never accept things you don't want to do (okay, you have to do your homework, be home on time and help with the household...!), have the courage to say NO! and try to omit all situations which you can't control (they are not safe) and don't do things that might turn out nasty (that would be not sane..)

Because IMHO the only way to really protect children from pedophiles and other ill-meaning folk is to make them into strong personalities who know they have a choice. Our children were raised not to be victims.

 

[Isabella]

As are schools, athletic teams, the internet, the Dairy Queen...

Indeed. It is the presence of children that attracts the pedophiles, and does not make such organizations, etc., inherently bad.

(Kataryn, I think you make some good points. I was taught from a young age to recognize inappropriate behavior/situations, and to tell my mother in particular if someone did do anything unusual. When I was a kid I thought she was just being annoying about such instructions, but once I was an adult, I realized how much it had helped, especially as I later found out that I had been quite close to some people who had been doing some horrible things).

 

[Ish]

I've worked with a few organizations that deal with kids and they actually go to lengths to try to prevent adults from preying on the kids. Typically there are criminal record checks carried out to ensure that people with any kind of undesirable record aren't working with the kids (I once knew a parent in his 40s who was told he couldn't be a Scout leader because he had a DUI when he was 19 on his record). A lot of organizations also training sessions on what is and is not appropriate behaviour when working with kids, and importantly how to spot signs of someone else acting inappropriately - and how to report it if you suspect it's happening.

The whole idea that Scouts, or the Catholic church, or other organizations that work with kids are associated with pedophilia in general is because when pedophilia is discovered it's reported. When it doesn't exist it's not reported. You don't pick up the paper and see the title "Scout Leader Not Molesting Children." The many people who work with kids who don't have any harmful intentions don't get recognized as such, but because the people who do have harmful intentions do get recognized and reported the general public ends up with a misconception of the relationships there. Most people who work with kids, regardless of the organization, aren't pedophiles at all.

 

[Frelinghighness]

Kataryn, I like your SCC formula. This is good for people of all ages, not just minors.

 

[MarNoe]

Teaching children how to be safe is by far the best. Of course it can backfire! I remember once when I was about 7 or 8 my father was supposed to pick me up from church. Well, he had too good a poker hand to leave so he handed his car keys to a friend and told him to pick me up. Boy was he mad when I refused to get in our (very distinctive) car with someone I didn't know! My mother had quite a job calming him down saying I did only what he told me to do.

 

[bethaliz6894]

keep in mind to, don't make the kids kiss grandma or an aunt and uncle if they don't want to. they need to be able to say no to anyone and everyone when they feel the need to.

 

[Grandma828]

When children are on group activities, there should always be 2 different adults.

 

[TLLK]

Kataryn, I like your SCC formula. This is good for people of all ages, not just minors.

Excellent advice Kataryn.

 

[Kataryn]

Thank you for the appreciation.

I just told my husband and he laughed and then asked me to convey a warning for those who do not know: before you talk about SSC (idea of checking things if they are Safe, Sane and Consensual) - it's a term from the BDSM-movement originally, so maybe, if you want to talk about it, you should word it a bit differently...

(Sorry, I wasn't aware where that came from, just found the term easy to remember and good advice - which it is!)

 

[Baroness of Books]

ROFL, a "50 Shades of Gray" safety tip?

 

[Nice Nofret]

SSC - how funny, thanks for sharing , but very sound advice nonetheless.

 

[SLV]

Thank you for the appreciation.

I just told my husband and he laughed and then asked me to convey a warning for those who do not know: before you talk about SSC (idea of checking things if they are Safe, Sane and Consensual) - it's a term from the BDSM-movement originally, so maybe, if you want to talk about it, you should word it a bit differently...

(Sorry, I wasn't aware where that came from, just found the term easy to remember and good advice - which it is!)

What is BDSM?

 

[Lumutqueen]

What is BDSM?

Bondage, Discipline, Sadomasochism or sadism and masochism

 

[Nice Nofret]

google is your friend

Bondage, SadoMasochism

 

[Ish]

I love that this is the way this conversation has turned... From the Duchess and Scouts to bondage....

 

[Isabella]

I've learned a lot of things in this last page of the thread that I really wasn't expecting .

 

[Kataryn]

Allow me to cry MEA CULPA - I was only aware that the term originally has a somehow "sexual" background, that's why I wrote that my cousin of course didn't use it in a sexual connection with the kids, but I wasn't aware it came from the "50 Shades..." corner.

Well, thinking about it, it surely is good that people with that sexual orientation are trying to act safe, sane and (very important, I think consensual....

But sorry that I took this thread into deeper waters than I wanted to.

 

[Baroness of Books]

No problem from my end, Kataryn; whatever keeps you safe from wherever it comes. Sometimes, you can get practical tips from the most unlikely sources. That did give me a good laugh, though!

 

[Lumutqueen]

How did Catherine's current events turn into the definition of BDSM?

 

[SLV]

Bondage, Discipline, Sadomasochism or sadism and masochism

Ouch!
Thanks, I guess. :-\

 

[NGalitzine]

How did Catherine's current events turn into the definition of BDSM?

Not sure, but definitely more interesting than a visit to a Scout camp

 

[Kataryn]

How did Catherine's current events turn into the definition of BDSM?

Come to think of it, I guess it's that the same formula, thought up to protect adults on playing to be "helpless" is useful as well to protect helpless children from preying adults. Somehow the same need there.

 

[Zonk]

Lets get back on topic.

 

[Lumutqueen]

Not sure, but definitely more interesting than a visit to a Scout camp

If discussing BDSM is more interesting than talking about royal current events then I think you're on the wrong forum.

 

[NGalitzine]

If discussing BDSM is more interesting than talking about royal current events then I think you're on the wrong forum.

I have a wide range of interests. Focussing on only one thing makes people boring. Were you not the one who explained what BDSM meant?

 

[Roslyn]

If discussing BDSM is more interesting than talking about royal current events then I think you're on the wrong forum.

Perhaps the royal current events are just mind-numbingly boring.

 

[cepe]

Perhaps the royal current events are just mind-numbingly boring.

The solution is with you - just dont bother reading them

 

[Roslyn]

Fair point, well made.

 

[Ish]

I do believe we're supposed to get back on topic -and leave the BDSM behind...