Relationships of Prince Charles and His Parents

[Osipi]

Now that you mention it, I can very well see the similarities between Charles and his grandfather and the recognition of the character traits in Charles that her late husband had probably did really endear Charles to the Queen Mum.

Its probably why they grew to be so close to each other.

 

[Curryong]

King George V also had a quarter deck manner that terrified his sons all their lives. (He was better with his only daughter.) He also believed in 'toughening up' and thought the Royal Navy was the best way for his two eldest sons. His wife Mary was a very shy and rather emotionless woman who rarely interceded with her husband on her children's behalf.

Of course there are huge differences between George and Mary and Elizabeth and Philip in both personality and circumstances, but it's notable isn't it that their style of parenting produced in both cases an eldest son and heir who was nervy, self pitying and whiney as a young man.

 

[Denville]

Bullying parents often produce either bullies or chidlren who are shy nervy and lacking in confidence

 

[MARG]

I think Charles has long since grown out of his childhood shyness, nerves and lack of confidence. He was in his late twenties when he began The Prince's Trust. To pull that off he needed a vision, leadership skills and discipline just to get it off the ground.

The work for the Trust alone would have been impossible for a man who was shy, nervy and lacked confidence. So too with most of his other charities. Being able to 'sell' that vision to people that could contribute time and skills took considerable confidence and not a little charisma.

He has his father's attitude of "Just Do It", in this case, creating something to counter the cumbersome bureaucracies the young had to deal with and to create a vision that would attract that youth to a charity that could change their lives.

https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/about-the-trust/history

 

[Pranter]

Nowdays he appears to have a warm relationship with his mother...and at least a cordial one with his father....at least in public.


LaRae

 

[Duc_et_Pair]

I think the Prince of Wales probably is one of the most successful princes of Wales ever. However his unease when he does not hold the reins is visible. But he is in good company. Also King Willem-Alexander can appear unsecure, fiddling with his pocket like Prince Charles or clench his fist like King Carl XVI Gustaf. Also King Philippe of the Belgians is an introvert person by nature.

The only real self-assured persons (or making that impression) are King Felipe of Spain and Prince Henry of Wales. That Prince Charles is by nature an introvert person does not make him a weak leader, as his Prince's Trust, his Duchy of Cornwall or his sustainable projects (like Poundbury, etc.) show.

 

[AdmirerUS]

I think the Prince of Wales probably is one of the most successful princes of Wales ever. ...

Well, as he once said of his son, "He's had lots of time to practice."

 

[Osipi]

I think the Prince of Wales probably is one of the most successful princes of Wales ever. However his unease when he does not hold the reins is visible. But he is in good company. Also King Willem-Alexander can appear unsecure, fiddling with his pocket like Prince Charles or clench his fist like King Carl XVI Gustaf. Also King Philippe of the Belgians is an introvert person by nature.

The only real self-assured persons (or making that impression) are King Felipe of Spain and Prince Henry of Wales. That Prince Charles is by nature an introvert person does not make him a weak leader, as his Prince's Trust, his Duchy of Cornwall or his sustainable projects (like Poundbury, etc.) show.

It was Charles, who over decades and with his own visions of programs to inspire and encourage and support young people to get ahead in the world, that has turned The Prince of Wales into more than just a title for the heir apparent to the throne. He's made it into a lifelong career and with that has become a very astute businessman, has honed his ways of thinking to envision a better future and has accomplished things in many fields besides doing the "royal job". Artist, author, gardener among them.

I can't help but think that perhaps all of this was somehow attained by a parent who goaded him into things he didn't quite take to (such as Gordonstoun). He learned to spend time alone and be reflective. He learned that one doesn't quit what one's started and he's learned a daily regime of activity that is still a big part of his day to day life.

We may perhaps look on and see that Philip "bullied" his son as a youth but in the long run, there were a lot of positives that came out of it. Charles may not have appreciated what his father was trying to do at the time but growing older and reflecting on the past, he may very well have come to appreciate it. I think a Mark Twain quote says it better than I could.

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

 

[SLV]

I think the Prince of Wales probably is one of the most successful princes of Wales ever. However his unease when he does not hold the reins is visible. But he is in good company. That Prince Charles is by nature an introvert person does not make him a weak leader, as his Prince's Trust, his Duchy of Cornwall or his sustainable projects (like Poundbury, etc.) show.

It was Charles, who over decades and with his own visions of programs to inspire and encourage and support young people to get ahead in the world, that has turned The Prince of Wales into more than just a title for the heir apparent to the throne. He's made it into a lifelong career and with that has become a very astute businessman, has honed his ways of thinking to envision a better future and has accomplished things in many fields besides doing the "royal job". Artist, author, gardener among them.

I can't help but think that perhaps all of this was somehow attained by a parent who goaded him into things he didn't quite take to (such as Gordonstoun). He learned to spend time alone and be reflective. He learned that one doesn't quit what one's started and he's learned a daily regime of activity that is still a big part of his day to day life.

We may perhaps look on and see that Philip "bullied" his son as a youth but in the long run, there were a lot of positives that came out of it. Charles may not have appreciated what his father was trying to do at the time but growing older and reflecting on the past, he may very well have come to appreciate it. I think a Mark Twain quote says it better than I could.

I completely agree with these descriptions.

 

[Denville]

I dont think that bullying is ever acceptable. Its possible that Charles took some positives from Gordonstoun and Philips rather aggressive parenting, but I don't think there were many. And I believe without it, he might have become a less nervy person and been more confident. He might have then handled the end of his marriage better.

 

[Curryong]

Charles was well into middle age when the Dimbleby book was published. He made his feelings clear to Jonathon Dimbleby, viz, that he never felt truly loved and appreciated by his parents and had felt that emotional coldness all his life.

Charles may well feel differently now, who knows. He may feel content, he might believe that, in his parents' old age, nothing would be gained by going over old ground. He probably feels genuine affection for them both and doesn't want any hurt to continue.

By the way, I don't think Prince Philip has mellowed. It wasn't that long ago that he was snapping at a photographer at a services dinner to 'get on with it!' Some people don't get soft and cuddly in old age and Philip's one who hasn't, IMO.

However, there were certainly hurt feelings and resentments towards his parents in his mid forties when the Dimbleby book came out and Charles could well nurse those today in his more private moments. These sort of emotions don't miraculously disappear in old age, however much a person may try to intellectualise them.

 

[Iluvbertie]

I dont think that bullying is ever acceptable. Its possible that Charles took some positives from Gordonstoun and Philips rather aggressive parenting, but I don't think there were many. And I believe without it, he might have become a less nervy person and been more confident. He might have then handled the end of his marriage better.

If he was more confident at 32 he wouldn't have been pressured into marrying Diana in the first place and may very well have never married.

 

[Mbruno]

If he was more confident at 32 he wouldn't have been pressured into marrying Diana in the first place and may very well have never married.

I didn't really have the opportunity to follow the story of Charles' and Diana's engagement, but I have noticed that many posters on TRF and other forums, especially those who are more openly on "team Charles" if you will, vehemently deny that Charles has ever been "pressured" into marrying Diana, either by his family or anybody else. So, was he pressured or not ?

 

[Osipi]

I think that's a topic for another thread. Lots of threads pertaining to that marriage under the Diana, Princess of Wales subforum.

 

[Mbruno]

I think that's a topic for another thread. Lots of threads pertaining to that marriage under the Diana, Princess of Wales subforum.

I suppose that, if he was pressured by his parents to get married with someone he didn't want to marry, that would fall into the "relationship between Charles and his parents" category and, therefore, that discussion would be suitable for this thread.

The problem is, again, that, according to some posters here, there has never been any such pressure. As I said, I am ignorant on the topic.

 

[Iluvbertie]

I am pro-Charles and very much believe he was pressured by both his parents - Philip in particular with the letter that he sent - and the press who were calling for a marriage and saying how suitable Diana was.

Lacking the confidence to say 'no' to everyone he married Diana even though he wasn't confident that it was the right thing to do.

 

[Denville]

Charles was well into middle age when the Dimbleby book was published. He made his feelings clear to Jonathon Dimbleby, viz, that he never felt truly loved and appreciated by his parents and had felt that emotional coldness all his life.

Charles may well feel differently now, who knows. He may feel content, he might believe that, in his parents' old age, nothing would be gained by going over old ground. He probably feels genuine affection for them both and doesn't want any hurt to continue.

However, there were certainly hurt feelings and resentments towards his parents in his mid forties when the Dimbleby book came out and Charles could well nurse those today in his more private moments. These sort of emotions don't miraculously disappear in old age, however much a person may try to intellectualise them.

I think that Philip isn't soft and cuddly but I believe that Charles has made peace with his past and with his parents.
In the Dimbleby time, he was just at the end of a horrible marriage, and was very miserable. I think that he will always feel that he was a bit short changed, that he didnt' get much love and attention from either parent as a little boy, but he's not going to moon and moan about over that forever.
Its true, i think he DIDNT get enough love and caring..He has a justifiable beef.. but I think that now, he's older, they are older, and he can see their good points and knows that they did and do love him, even if nether of them was good at showing it..
I think that he has mellowed, now he's in a happy marriage, has his boys all grown up and sorted out and has grandchildren.. and has a decent prospect of being King in due course and his wife being queen.

 

[Denville]

I suppose that, if he was pressured by his parents to get married with someone he didn't want to marry, that would fall into the "relationship between Charles and his parents" category and, therefore, that discussion would be suitable for this thread.

The problem is, again, that, according to some posters here, there has never been any such pressure. As I said, I am ignorant on the topic.

There was pressure, but it was not really direct pressure from Philip.. it was more complicated than that. The fact was that he had reached an age where he was expected to marry. It was his duty as POW to marry and produce children. He knew that, but I think he also knew that he wasn't really all that keen on marriage at that time.. and that he had a stronger love for Camilla than he was likley to have for another woman.

But he's a dutiful man, he beleived it was the right thing to do, to get married and have a family and get on with his work as POW.
And If he'd asked his parents, direclty at the time Im sure both of them woudl have said "Yes Charles, you're over 30 now. If you dont get married soon, its going to look a bit odd. You're not likely to get a woman who hasn't had boyfriends and a sex life, who is any way close in age to you and the longer you leave it the worse it will get. And you'll be a lot older than your kids..."
So when he had been dating Diana, the press were pushing for an engagement - then Philip DID write to him and say in effect "Get on with it for Gods sake". He was impatient with Charles' dithering and he and the queen felt that the whole courtship with the press fuss about Diana was too much to take and that they didn't want it going on any longer..
There was a lot of pressure. But I think that if Charles had been a bit stronger minded, he might have resisted and said that he wanted to wait, or that he didn't beleive Di was the right one for him and broken off with her.
It woudld have resulted in bad headlines but maybe it woudl have been better if he had done so, stopped seeing her after a month or 2 and waited another year before marrying.

Having said that, he was getting older, It was hard to resist the conclusion that the time HAD come for him to get married...

 

[Denville]

If he was more confident at 32 he wouldn't have been pressured into marrying Diana in the first place and may very well have never married.

Of course he would have married. Mabye not Diana but it was his duty to marry...and he has always been conscientious about that.