Engagement of Prince Harry of Wales and Meghan Markle: November 27, 2017

[jacqui24]

I'm sure ALL couples getting married feel that they "know what they are doigng." it doesn't stop there being a high divorce rate...

Uh, that’s not true.

I have friends who married because they feel in love, but it was obvious from the beginning that they just didn’t know who they are and what they want out of life. You can’t really tell if they have mutual long term goals of things in common from that standpoint. That, to me, is a big red sign.

I’ve had relationships when I was younger that I knew we had different thinking about what we want to do with life. I always knew that these relationship wouldn’t last, but you feel what you feel at the time. Just have to wait it out.

However, what I’m seeing with those two is there is a mutual commitment and goal to the same things in life goals. That’s a big key to success they seem to have understood.

of course they are in holiday mode. They've met up, privately, with H I suppose mostly meeting her abroad or flyng to the American continent to spend a few days iwht her. Tha'ts not normal married life.
And Harry has a good deal of leisure so he problaby doesn't have a very clear idea of "normal working life" and holiday time.. He is able to take a good deal of time off, and generally isn't tied ot a lot of duties.
I am sure the queen has considered all this but she has made mistakes before, in thinking that Sarah York was sutiable as a royal wife, or that Diana and Charles would work out.

Oh goodness, let’s try not to compare Sarah of York to Meghan. Sarah was highly immature and not quite that intelligent either. Far cry from who Meghan Markle is. And Andrew has his own issues. I feel like that couple fell apart because of immaturity combined with time apart and financial problems. As for Diana and Charles, the Queen certainly has different criteria then for Charles’ bride. Completely different situation.

From what I gathered based on what we found out from the couple. It almost seem like Meghan was living in U.K. while going over to Toronto for work for the last year of their relationship. While Meghan has a busy schedule, she does get chucks of time off. She’s off from November all the way until late March/early April and she has most of August off. From what we know, she’s spent most of that time with Harry in U.K.. What did we think they were doing during this time other than living together and Meghan see Harry off to work and mesh into their everyday life? He certainly didn’t take all of that time off.

 

[Mirabel]

The high divorce rate, I believe, is not due to the couple not knowing what they were doing going into the marriage but the assumption that because they were married, everything falls into place.

Life is difficult and so is marriage.

Absolutely!
Despite all evidence to the contrary, some people still seem to expect to find their soulmate and live happily ever after.

They never seem to get that there's no happily, there's just after. And sometimes it is happy and sometimes not so much.

 

[ACO]

Of course it is Holiday...They are spending a few days together in private possibly visitng family and friends, on and off.
Its not getting up every day, going to one's job.. being at home together at times.. which is normal life even for royals.
Meghan hasn't lived in th UK, she's just visited.
Kate and William have had a fairly normal life together for some time before their marriage, living together, going out to dinner etc. K wasn't doing royal engagements, but she and Will spent a lot of time together before they got engaged. he spent a lot of time with her family...
Meghan and Harry have had "fun time" on short visits.
Of course no one can say what will make a good marriage, and of course at times it comes down to "sticking it out" and working through the bad times. but that's not easy. Hopefully they are mature enguh to know this by now, but I don't think that they have septn a lot of time together (if they have tehn they're not working as hard as one would think), and they haven't gotten to know each other in a normal life (for royals) context. It would be the same if he weren't a prince..

Long distance is not easy and honestly usually falls apart pretty quickly when you start spending more time together. I wouldn't call it a holiday by any means especially with them dealing what they had to deal with. Also they did have significant time together. She was with him for months when the show was on hiatus at the start of the year. That is when the speculation of engagement went into overdrive because they realized she was going to sticking around the UK for weeks. They got to experience that "home life" for a while.

IMO, Meghan has been married before. She also had another 2 year relationship before Harry. Harry had his long term relationships too. They not new to this. They are in their 30s and full aware of what is going on. Meghan had to give up everything. I don't think she is just jumping into this blindly. And based on their joint interview I get the impression Harry had to do a lot of convincing that they were worth it despite the outside bagged that comes along with it.

Time will tell how it all shakes out. Marriage is hard work. I am wishing them the best of luck.

Long dating before marriage doesn't guarantee successful marriage though. Marriage is hard work, there has to be a lot of love, like, respect and hard work to make it work. Meghan and Harry actually worked hard to make this beginning 18 months work, I think they're dedicated to continue that hard work once married. Also, Imo, the love, like and respect are there too.

Exactly. The timetable really doesn't matter. You see all kinds of examples. People who knew each other for a month who are on year 30. People who were together 10 years before marriage and divorced within one and everything in between. Everyone is different. It is about putting in the work and knowing what you both need and having that support. Their situation is extremely unique as their marriage is also their job and is heavily scrutinized. That is another reason I don't think they just leaping into this with blinders on.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

Previous ..Denville my worry is very much like you. The excitement of sneaking around from the press every couple of weeks meeting up has been fun and very very exciting. Will it be as good when all the boring times hit.? I love Harry and really hope this all works out and they last the distance. I trend to be a worrier and I’m worried about him.

I'm right there with you. I like Meghan and I am rooting for them and I am also a worrier. Anytime anyone brings up legitimate concerns especially about something logical like the amount of time a couple has known each other we get the same " I have a friend who knew a friend who knew someone who got married after 2 weeks" stories. I for one am not predicting or wishing for doom and gloom for this couple; I'm just acknowledging some concerns. I for one think you shouldn't get married when your in love; you should let the love high pass and then discover if you like, respect, and value the other person. To me H&M are still in the happy honeymoon phase; but I still love them together.

 

[Duc_et_Pair]

Unrealistic expectations for some folks. Marriage is dirty hard work at times.



LaRae

Why are the divorce rate, the child pregnacies and the single mums in the UK topping all statistics in Europe? Not necessarily connected with that (or is it?) are also the highest statistics in obesity, alcohol drinking and drugs related deaths. And that while -in foreign eyes- the UK is such a traditional society, with ye oldfashioned norms and values, Queen and Country, Sense and Sensibility, etc.

I hope that the second marriage of Meghan will last longer than her first one.

 

[Gaudete]

I understand people have concerns. I had concerns about Kate. I was wrong. I think it’s just a little unnecessary to spend the next few months wracked with anxiety about 5 or 10 years time. Nobody knows what will happen. And if, worst case scenario, it doesn’t work out? Well then they’ll get through it and so will the British people. For now however, we have to trust that it’s the right thing. I’m approaching this in the same way I approached Kate. If she’s good enough for the Queen, she’s good enough for everybody else.

 

[O-H Anglophile]

I'm right there with you. I like Meghan and I am rooting for them and I am also a worrier. Anytime anyone brings up legitimate concerns especially about something logical like the amount of time a couple has known each other we get the same " I have a friend who knew a friend who knew someone who got married after 2 weeks" stories. I for one am not predicting or wishing for doom and gloom for this couple; I'm just acknowledging some concerns. I for one think you shouldn't get married when your in love; you should let the love high pass and then discover if you like, respect, and value the other person. To me H&M are still in the happy honeymoon phase; but I still love them together.

And when people say their concerns are over the length of time Harry and Meghan have known each other, others counter it by pointing out their ages, life experiences, apparent commitment to their relationship and by providing stories of personal experiences- not friend of a friend of someone's stories. Some of us obviously view this from a different perspective or life experience.
BTW, on occasion even after over 30 years, I feel the love high for my husband.

 

[Denville]

I'm right there with you. I like Meghan and I am rooting for them and I am also a worrier. Anytime anyone brings up legitimate concerns especially about something logical like the amount of time a couple has known each other we get the same " I have a friend who knew a friend who knew someone who got married after 2 weeks" stories. I for one am not predicting or wishing for doom and gloom for this couple; I'm just acknowledging some concerns. I for one think you shouldn't get married when your in love; you should let the love high pass and then discover if you like, respect, and value the other person. To me H&M are still in the happy honeymoon phase; but I still love them together.

Of course they are still in the "happy honeymoon" phase. If they have really been spending so much time "living together" as people are now saying, all I can say is that they are not as busy with work as has been made out.
I think that while of course there are relationship that go wrong, even after years and relationships that work even when the couple haven't seent much time together, on average, its a better idea ot have spent time with your loved one, if possible to live together.. I don't believe that they have really spent all that much time together.
That said, Its up to tehm. I dont dislike Harry and I hope he will be happy but it is uip to them. I think that the hard wrok comes after marriage..

 

[O-H Anglophile]

I really don't get why some consider living together prior to marriage an important aspect to a successful marriage. Shared philosophies and goals seem much more important to me. And a few shared interests, to enjoy together.
Harry & Meghan seem to have that.

 

[Gaudete]

It’s interesting to see how much things have changed. When they said that they had been living together, my grandmother was appalled! People are at such polar opposites these days that they’ll never please everyone all of the time. They’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t. But such is the life of a Royal today.

 

[Osipi]

I really don't get why some consider living together prior to marriage an important aspect to a successful marriage. Shared philosophies and goals seem much more important to me. And a few shared interests, to enjoy together.

Add to that the strength and the fortitude to get through those "I love you dearly but I really don't like you too much right now" times. They happen in every marriage. They're the true test of a couple's mettle.

Show me a couple that never have had a disagreement or troubled times and I'll show you a couple that is divorced.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

And when people say their concerns are over the length of time Harry and Meghan have known each other, others counter it by pointing out their ages, life experiences, apparent commitment to their relationship and by providing stories of personal experiences- not friend of a friend of someone's stories. Some of us obviously view this from a different perspective or life experience.
BTW, on occasion even after over 30 years, I feel the love high for my husband.

And I can counter that with saying I knew 3 couples who knew each other for short periods of time and didn't spend a lot of time together; 2 of those couples thought they were deeply in love and all ended in messy divorces. 1 were Harry's parents 2 were his aunt and uncle. I'm not saying this will happen to H&M, just wanting people to stop brushing off concerns about the length of time by just using personal experiences. AGAIN!!!!! I love these 2 together! Not only because I like Harry and think Meghan is a doll but because she is pissing off so many old stuffy disgusting close minded journalists.

PS Hey UK you guys are obese too? Awesome, shout out from the fat USofA

PPS Denville you're right the hard work comes after marriage.

 

[Gaudete]

PS Hey UK you guys are obese too? Awesome, shout out from the fat USofA

LOL! And destined to get even bigger once we get our American trade deal. Meghan won’t struggle to find familiar items here in a year or so. Though she doesn’t strike me as the type who would eat Twinkies. (My favourite US import. Thanks ya’ll!)

 

[Skippy]

Add to that the strength and the fortitude to get through those "I love you dearly but I really don't like you too much right now" times. They happen in every marriage. They're the true test of a couple's mettle.

Show me a couple that never have had a disagreement or troubled times and I'll show you a couple that is divorced.

All couples have disagreements, arguments and possibly even fights. That is also what keeps a relationship healthy too. Never having any disagreements doesn't sound real to me and having them isn't anything to be ashamed of.
Harry and Meghan will also have them (and who knows, maybe they have already had them).

Cupid shoots arrows, but life can shoot thorns. Big bloody thorns.

 

[Countessmeout]

Reality is Meghan could live with Harry for ten years and she would never get a sense of her future until they married. Plain and simple. She will never know what it is to be a royal duchess until she is a royal duchess. She would not be allowed to accompany him to events, or even family holidays, before engaged. She would not have had the routine, press, or anything.

Honestly her moving to London before engagement may have broken their relationship. Meghan is not some fresh out of college school girl who is okay with making her man top priority, and not having a career. She has been working since she was in high school. She had a developed career that she worked long and hard to create. She had charity work which she was passionate about being involved in. If she came to London to live, and gave that all up, to 'play house' and see how things were, how long would she be happy? Yes she is giving it up now, but she is giving it up for something. Being a royal is a career. She is not retiring to be a stay at home mother, she is changing jobs. If she was stuck in Notts cottage most of the time due to security, Harry was traveling all over and she couldn't go, and she had to give up all that defined her life, I am not sure it would last.

Making a long distance relationship work is harder then living with someone. Being able to continue and deepen a relationship when you are only over the phone, skype and the rare visit is not the same as being close every day. They have proven they have the skills, and desire, to make things work.

They also both have been in serious relationships before. They both have seen what makes things work and not work. They also have a better idea of what they want from a partner, then they had when younger.

Marriage is about putting in the work. About loving your partner even when you might not like them so much. Harry and Meghan are adults enough to know this and will make it work.

 

[O-H Anglophile]

Add to that the strength and the fortitude to get through those "I love you dearly but I really don't like you too much right now" times. They happen in every marriage. They're the true test of a couple's mettle.

Show me a couple that never have had a disagreement or troubled times and I'll show you a couple that is divorced.

Very true-you have to persevere through the bad times and not abandon ship just because the waters have gotten a bit rough.

Sometimes one half abandons the relationship, but it seems some divorces are because people are selfish or didn't realize marriage is not always perfect.

 

[soapstar]

Let's keep this on Harry and Meghan, please.

 

[ACO]

It’s interesting to see how much things have changed. When they said that they had been living together, my grandmother was appalled! People are at such polar opposites these days that they’ll never please everyone all of the time. They’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t. But such is the life of a Royal today.

That is kind of amusing. It is fascinating though. Their interview eased a lot of my concerns. The fact they basically been living together their entire relationship, where for a good 6 months was in secret, told me a lot about how much they wanted it to work. Marriage is not easy but they clearly put a lot of thought and hard work into it their relationship so far, so I can't imagine they will suddenly stop now.

I also agree up-thread with the person who said that had Meghan just gave everything up without the ring and no real guarantee and was fiddling about Nott Cott doing nothing as Harry worked... they likely wouldn't be getting married. I think they work because they both respected each other's work obligations and Meghan literally just transitioned from one career to another.

 

[TLLK]

Reality is Meghan could live with Harry for ten years and she would never get a sense of her future until they married. Plain and simple. She will never know what it is to be a royal duchess until she is a royal duchess. She would not be allowed to accompany him to events, or even family holidays, before engaged. She would not have had the routine, press, or anything.

Thank you for pointing this out Countessmeout. I've read over and over about a person who married into a royal family "should know" exactly what they're required to do as a royal because they dated someone for ______ length of time or because their families have been associated with ruling families for years. AFAIK most royal house do not begin their "royal education" programs until the engagement has been announced. Also they are aware that engagements can be ended ie:Sweden's Madeleine and Jonas so they're not as heavily invested until after the weddings IMO.

 

[CyrilVladisla]

In the engagement photograph I like how Meghan's hand is placed directly over Harry's hand. Their eyes express their jubilancy very beautifully.

 

[Princess Squirrel]

I knew Meghan was 'the one' from when Harry first made a statement telling the press to leave her alone. I told my MIL they would get married. I don't think she believed it though because she just said let's see what happens.

I agree with other people who have said that, because of their ages, Harry and Meghan know what they want. Two important facts are that marriage is more likely, statistically, to work out, the older the couple are on getting hitched, and also, statistically, length of time spent together before marriage has been proven to make no difference to success or longevity.

I had a LDR with my husband, who is also American. He was my penpal before either of us had the Internet. After a year he visited me in London and I knew within a week that I wanted to marry him. Indeed we did marry soon after despite never having lived together. The hard work part of marriage is true but in our case it has always been tougher due to the fact, I now know, that my husband is autistic. We only recently found out and had a definite diagnosis. Even given this extra obstacle, we've now been married over 19 years.

I found the comment about waiting to get married until after you're no longer crazy in love kind of odd. I am still crazy in love with my husband. I'm currently at my mum's and very excited about seeing him tomorrow and spending time together over Christmas, even though I only got here yesterday!

I also find it strange that Meghan and Harry are being berated for not living together for ages before deciding to marry, whereas Charlene and Albert were berated because they did just that! Sometimes whatever royals do, they can't win!

 

[Curbside]

In my opinion, Meghan and Harry have a lot of shared values. I don't think there are many actresses who travel overseas on humanitarian missions, speak at the UN, and make videos about women's menstruation, who are also financially secure and basically don't need to "marry up." Meghan doesn't need Harry--she just wants him.

 

[HereditaryPrincess]

I actually think that Meghan and Harry only knowing each other for a short amount of time may not be such a bad thing. I’ve only known all of my friends now for just over a year (with the exception of one whom I’ve known for 10 years and another for 5) but it feels like we’ve known each other for a lifetime. I’m closer to them than I’ve ever been to anyone else and find it much easier to open up to them than people I’ve known for a long while. Sometimes knowing someone for a short amount of time is refreshing because they only know you in the now, and you can have fun telling them anecdotes of your past and hear opinions about you from fresh eyes. Furthermore, for Harry, his long term relationships (Cressida, Chelsey) never worked out so I think Meghan is the one. As others have mentioned, they do seem to get on very well and that should be what’s important, rather than the length of their friendship.

 

[Terri Terri]

From their engagement interview....Prince Harry indicated that he knew that he was in love with Meghan very quickly but that they still had to sit down and have some blunt/Frank conversations. It sounds like Harry really tried to warn Meghan what she was letting herself in for and the sacrifices that she would have to make.

 

[Pranter]

I think after the news broke she was made very aware of how things were going to be.


LaRae

 

[ACO]

I think after the news broke she was made very aware of how things were going to be.


LaRae

I think he issued that statement because she was overwhelmed and likely was on the verge of walking away. I think stuff was not well which made him go to the extreme. He has seen this life ruin relationships and I suspect he didn't want to take that risk again. Until it was official he couldn't actually protect her.

 

[MARG]

I don't think all the telling in the world can prepare you for the media interest. I had a wee laugh at the way Harry had organised the media introduction . . . with a large pond between them! I checked out the video of William's engagement media introduction and both William and Catherine being totally blinded by the camera flashes and drowned out by the shutters.

But Harry and Meghan strolled down into the garden dedicated to Diana and did it their way. You just got to love it that these two seem totally immune to pressure to perform the "Royal" way, preferring rather to do things their way. This attitude leaves us with an unwritten book because we don't know how they are going to act. Certainly not like William whose interaction with the media is nevertheless starting to loosen up.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

I think he issued that statement because she was overwhelmed and likely was on the verge of walking away. I think stuff was not well which made him go to the extreme. He has seen this life ruin relationships and I suspect he didn't want to take that risk again. Until it was official he couldn't actually protect her.

I'm going to disagree here. I don't think she was on the verge of walking away, over whelmed, yes, but not at him. I think so many things happened at once, when the press got a hint about them. They tried to bribe anyone around her to spill info about her, her mother was harassed, threats of fake nudes being released, the need to call the police to her house, the racial ubdertones in articles, social media harassment etc. He had never witnessed it to this level, and his previous girlfriends had faced some of it too. I think he just has put Meghan and this relationship as his #1 priority from the start, which is why he released the statement. Not because she was going to dump him. Jmho.

 

[jacqui24]

I think he issued that statement because she was overwhelmed and likely was on the verge of walking away. I think stuff was not well which made him go to the extreme. He has seen this life ruin relationships and I suspect he didn't want to take that risk again. Until it was official he couldn't actually protect her.

I don’t think she was going to walk away from Harry simply because of strangers’ behavior. We know it was like an onslaught neither of them expected. They were probably too busy fending off one thing after another. What we do know is that Harry is extremely protective of Meghan, and likely issues that statement because he is tired of the woman he loves being smeared by the same stories over and over again. There were some discussions between KP communications and some of the more credible royal reporters, like Camilla Tominey, and what basically was communicated was that they just kept seeing those same stories coming up night after night even after they pushed back behind the scenes. They eventually did take legal actions against some. But that process takes time whereas they can run another headline the next day without consequence righ away.

But if she would’ve walked away that soon, then the relationship wasn’t that solid. And if it wasn’t that solid already, Harry wouldn’t have issued that statement. He would’ve handled it differently and more like how he handled the break up with Cressida in the press. That statement would’ve put Meghan is an awfully awkward position had the relationship not worked out. So both of them had to have a great level of confidence in the relationship for that statement to go out. I highly doubt he did it because he would’ve lost her if he didn’t at that point. He did it because it does send a message in a way “legitimizing” her with the press. Royal wives are obviously under the protection of the royal family and advisors, so the media treads more carefully, however, they often feel like royal girlfriends are free for all because they don’t have that protection. Harry’s statement did show that they will step in on her behalf if things got out of control and it did rein a lot of them in.

 

[ACO]

Yeah you're both probably right. It just was so extreme and unlike anything they have done that I felt it was likely some last grand thing to show her how serious he was about her and prove he was worth the trouble. And that is likely still the case but the intentions of why were different. Correct in they do seem solid and per that interview that seemed to have talked a lot about all the baggage that comes with being with a royal. At the time she just was getting in from all sides so maybe she her first taste of it even shocked Harry. They also alluded to that as well. He was shocked and this is from a man who has lived it his entire life. So I guess it does make sense from that standpoint.