A Thread about Frederik and Mary's Marriage

[Chimene]

Oh boy, we're still talking about this? They are doing just fine, and if they are not, I'm sure we will find out. I don't see the point in arguing about something that may or may not happen. Unless of course you wish something bad to happen, which would not be good for those two precious little kids. Let's think positive, I like the scenario much better that way!

 

[Linda Hsu]

The imaginations of some, I tell you...

Exactly my sentiments! The imaginations of those same old posters......they have been endlessly bashing Mary and Frederik for ages.

 

[Sister Morphine]

Oh boy, we're still talking about this? They are doing just fine, and if they are not, I'm sure we will find out. I don't see the point in arguing about something that may or may not happen. Unless of course you wish something bad to happen, which would not be good for those two precious little kids. Let's think positive, I like the scenario much better that way!

for hitting the nail on the head.

 

[MissSaga]

I think because Frederik and Mary are patrons of different organizations, they simply attend different functions. I also think that Mary, being the independent type of person, doesn't need Frederik to hold her hand every time she performs an official duty.

I wholeheartly agree. And whenever we do see them together, they're lovely.

I believe that they are very happy, but that they have matured, and become more reserved with kisses in public and so, now they've been married for three years. And they did many more public engagements together before, obvioustly because Mary was new in the game. I've posted some pictures is the loving looks and gestures thread, and in every event in 2007 they attended together, they've looked very in love.

Moreover, they just had a baby, it seems very, very wrong to be discussing this.

 

[MissSaga]

On what pictures is their body language mostly cold seeming, I wonder.
On the last ones with their children or when they were leaving the hospital?
The Easter pictures? The pictures from the Norwegian birthday celebrations?
The Australian holiday pictures? Or the pictures of their trips to Brussels, St.Petersburg or Bornholm?
IMO there are actually a lot of pictures showing their good relationship during the past year.

Moreover Frederik seems as happy as a lark since he is married to Mary.
Constantly smiling from one ear to the other.
Would he look as happy if he had spent the last 3 years - and not just 3 days - with Victoria?
I doubt it (since I believe Victoria is quite a bossy woman).

And I don't see any love or sexual attraction between those two in the pictures taken during the state visit.
In my eyes the pictures simply show a complicity between two persons who are somehow sitting in the same boat.
(Btw, have you ever seen pictures of Frederik and Victoria during the opening of the Oresundbridge in 2000.
That's what I would call cold body language.)

I agree though that Mary and Frederik should do more together, not because I think there is something wrong,
but simply because I like them very much as a couple.
They never did a lot of work together in Denmark, so actually nothing has changed in that respect.
But they did more and longer official trips together in the beginning.
And that's what I miss a bit.

Very good post, Ricarda.

 

[wiwaxia]

I think Frederik more relaxed, and happier than he has for a long time during the recent Sate Visit from Sweden, he does seem so at ease with CP Victoria, quite a pleasure to see his enthusiasm return after a very long break!

 

[Linda Hsu]

I too feel that these so-called rumours, interpretations of still pictures etc. that end up with a conclusion of marriage trouble are a bit too contrived, too planned to have any creditability.

They just had a baby - the pictures we have seen in that connection are pictures of a clearly happy couple which adore their children. We have seen pictures of a Frederik who looks adoringly at his new little daughter. So what exactly is all the marriage trouble based on? Seems very contrived to me.

I saw the live footage here when he received Victoria and her parents at Copenhagen harbour at the state visit; Victoria and Frederik shared a car and he talked animatedly with her in the car, making gestures and Victoria laughed and smiled. My interpretation is that Victoria got a healthy dose of babytalk before the doors of the car were closed - and that she got that because Frederik considers Victoria to be family and a good friend. Some people can after all be friends with people of the opposite sex.

Frederik and Mary are 'new' parents, once again. Cut them some slack for God's sake from all these invented problems. IMO all new parents deserve some extra consideration till they have gained a foothold with the new family structure, and that includes Frederik and Mary. Everything else just seems mean.

Very beautifully said! UserDane! You just took every word right out of my mouth!

Amen

 

[Jasl]

no-one even predicted that Joachim and Alexandra would get divorced, yet we're still convinced that we can tell someone's marriage is on the rocks from seeing a few pics/ photos. Goes to show that people can "put on a good show" and fool everyone, and the difficulty in reading people based on a moment in time or a couple of seconds of vid

IMO, Frederik and Victoria get on very well and have fun together. But he's hardly going to fall for her in that way. He would have done that ages ago if he really wanted to.

I really find it laughable how some people get offended because people get on the defensive when their air their negative views. Like, hello...! When people hear/see something they don't agree with, that's what they do - argue back! That's the way it is in real life.

 

[HRH Kerry]

I was never really a fan. It wasn't that I didn't like them, I just never really ventured into the DRF forum to know them. I mean there are so many forums and threads that sometimes you tend to overlook a few. However, I recently watched the video of their wedding and fell in love with this couple. Now I'm trying to play catch-up and learn all I can about them. I was very touched watching Prince Frederik await his bride with tears in his eyes. Clearly a man who followed his heart.

 

[dazzling]

IMO even if the couple did have problems (every couple hae problems, no marriage is perfect) they will figure/sort it out. Frederik is in a harder position in getting/thinking of a divorce since he is next to the throne. Yes id agree there are some pictues where they dont look comftable next to each other but that doesnt mean trouble or argument it could be that one of the two werent ready for the picture or for an event but had to attened. thinking positive always helps

 

[Christo's Girl]

Exactly, no marriage is perfect. It isn't flowers and kisses constantly.

Concerning the marriage of these people whom I don't know I must admit one thing. The pictures taken of Mary with Christian at the seaside this past winter on that cold grey day. Mary looked lonely too me and I felt bad that she was at home and Fred was off sailing. Sometimes I wonder if she was sort of using the media(in a good way) to send a message to Fred?

 

[magnik]

They are normal people and their marriage is normal like many other around the World with good nad bad days.

 

[dazzling]

BTW, If we all judge by pictures then were wasting time I think, because people with troubled marriage’s are going to play all safe and over do it buy holding hands more then used to and kissing, hugging etc to prove they’re fine. Fred & Mary are acting on how things are they don’t over do it because they don’t have to prove anything.

 

[stellam]

Dazzling, I just love the last few words of your comment "they don't have to prove anything."

Stellad

 

[HRH Kerry]

BTW, If we all judge by pictures then were wasting time...

Also, if the camera is snapped just as someone looks at ...where they're walking then it can be perceived as that person is sad and there's trouble in the marriage. Please give me a break! Anything to sell a picture or a bogus story no matter how much it may hurt the innocent parties involved. Like if it was really true they would actually run and tell the media!

 

[princess gertrude]

Many of you are right, marriage is a lot of work! I've been married 5 years to a wonderful man, but that's not to say that some days I don't want to just "ring his neck" because of something he said or did. No marriage is perfect and if someone tells you their's is --- they're lying through their teeth. Also, marriages do "cool off". At the start, it's passion and fire, and slowly those things are replaced with companionship, loyalty and in my marriage lots & lots of humor. Just thoughts from an "old" married woman.

 

[Duke of Marmalade]

IMO she seams to have a lot of strenght, naturalness, vigour, positive energy, she likes to be amoung people, she knows how to speak in public. We cannot say the same for Frederick.

I agree. And I think Fred is well aware that Mary and the kids are his best assets. Where would he be without her? She looks like she's wearing the trousers and he's the type of man who exactly needs this kind of woman. She's good for him and he better walks the line - and it seems he does as he has only eyes for his family. Don't think in a second their marriage is in trouble. To me he looks like he'd prefer to be second in line and Joachim doing the job but unfortunately that's whishfull thinking. Fred will need Mary's strength in the years to come and I am convinced they'll be doing fine, although from time to time she'll have to give him a reality bite

 

[crisscross1]

To me he looks like he'd prefer to be second in line and Joachim doing the job but unfortunately that's whishfull thinking. Fred will need Mary's strength in the years to come and I am convinced they'll be doing fine, although from time to time she'll have to give him a reality bite

I agree with you Duke of Marmalade, I also think that Fred would have preferred to be the second born, he seems so introvert and shy.

 

[Duke of Marmalade]

I agree with you Duke of Marmalade, I also think that Fred would have preferred to be the second born, he seems so introvert and shy.

Yep, and given it seems he was only able to have a good relationship with his parents as an adult and speaks not well about his childhood / growing up I am sure being the heir was a heavy burden on him throughout his life.
Finding someone in Mary who wants to share this burden and give him the opportunity to have a loving family is certainly precious and special to him. It shows when they interact with Christian - a loving dad who does not want to repeat the mistakes his own father made with him.
No question he has matured since he is with her / has his own family.

 

[crisscross1]

No question he has matured since he is with her / has his own family.

Absolutely, I have always seen him as a nervous little boy and Mary does bring out the best in him. Being a shy person myself, I know exactly how he feels.

 

[HRH Kerry]

Mary does seem to be a very strong and independent woman. Now that you guys have mentioned it, Frederik does seem a little shy. I had no idea that his childhood wasn't vey happy though. What can I say? I'm new in this thread.

 

[Duke of Marmalade]

Mary does seem to be a very strong and independent woman. Now that you guys have mentioned it, Frederik does seem a little shy. I had no idea that his childhood wasn't vey happy though. What can I say? I'm new in this thread.

I remember this famous speech - don't know the occasion - where Fred mentioned that if there is any truth in the saying "you love the ones you punish" his parents must have loved him and his brother very much. It's not the exact wording but I hope the message comes across. He stated that he did not have a happy childhood in terms of being loved or being shown that he's loved by his parents. QM was always very busy and she does not look like she's very much into children, even her own grandchildren. Seems Henrik was very hard on the boys and they had a cold upbringing.
Having experienced such a childhood of course he wants to do better and give a stable and loving background to his own family.

 

[Duke of Marmalade]

Absolutely, I have always seen him as a nervous little boy and Mary does bring out the best in him. Being a shy person myself, I know exactly how he feels.

Hi Crisscross1

There is nothing wrong with being shy - I guess there are situations where everybody is - but it might not be very helpful for a heir of the throne.
Chosing a self assured woman like Mary with all the assets she brings along is the best thing Frederik could do

 

[HRH Kerry]

Thanks, Duke of Marmalade. Kind of sounds similiar to Prince Charles' upbringing in a way. Mary definitely compliments him well.

 

[Duke of Marmalade]

Thanks, Duke of Marmalade. Kind of sounds similiar to Prince Charles' upbringing in a way. Mary definitely compliments him well.

How true ... another shy heir to the throne. Shame he was not lucky in terms of finding a partner that suited him at the right time.

 

[ricarda]

I agree. And I think Fred is well aware that Mary and the kids are his best assets. Where would he be without her? She looks like she's wearing the trousers and he's the type of man who exactly needs this kind of woman. She's good for him and he better walks the line - and it seems he does as he has only eyes for his family. Don't think in a second their marriage is in trouble. To me he looks like he'd prefer to be second in line and Joachim doing the job but unfortunately that's whishfull thinking. Fred will need Mary's strength in the years to come and I am convinced they'll be doing fine, although from time to time she'll have to give him a reality bite

I am not sure I totally agree with you.
I mean, I agree Mary seems to complement Frederik and is good for him and I too have the feeling that Frederik would have preferred not to be the firstborn/heir.

On the other hand: Where would he be without her?
Well, Frederik managed to be voted "most popular Dane" 7 or 8 times I think (not sure) before Mary came along. I don't see a Philippe/Mathilde situation here. Also, I have the feeling that if ever there is going to be a divorce people would not be so wholeheartedly on Mary's side as they were originally in Alexandra's case (things have changed though). Frederik is far too popular in his own right.

Secondly, I am also not sure whether Mary is really wearing the trousers in this relationship. Somehow they remind me of my own grandparents, an energetic woman and a more emotional man. When I was a child I always thought she was the boss in their relationship but in the end I found out that things were usually going the way he wanted.

In my eyes Frederik appears media shy but not weak. Also, despite his unhappy and isolated childhood he managed to develop into a man who by all reports can interact very well with people (perhaps not with the media people though). I feel he has quite a strong will, courage (on the negative side: a tendency to egoism) and he doesn't care too much what others think of him. Imagine him standing up at a banquet whose purpose was to celebrate his parents and then critizising his parents, or sailing instead of attending the Swedish king's birthday. Whatever one may think of it it certainly needs a kind of strength.

 

[HRH Kerry]

You're right of course. Look at Charles now! That is what Frederik is getting from Mary now and it does make a difference. I hope they have a long and prosperous marriage.

 

[crisscross1]

Hi Crisscross1

There is nothing wrong with being shy - I guess there are situations where everybody is - but it might not be very helpful for a heir of the throne.
Chosing a self assured woman like Mary with all the assets she brings along is the best thing Frederik could do

Duke of Marmalade, you are right. There is nothing wrong with being shy but it can be terribly frustrating. There have been so many things in life that I have wanted to do but never had the confidence for various reasons. Low self esteem, poor self image, what ever it may be, it is only now at my age I am slowly beginning to realise that what people think isn't important. It's how I feel about myself that matters and, even as an heir to a country, I don't think it would make much difference to Frederik. Having Mary take the limelight from him would be a great relief and I am sure he loves and apreciates her very much for that, as I do my patient and understanding husband.

 

[Duke of Marmalade]

Duke of Marmalade, you are right. There is nothing wrong with being shy but it can be terribly frustrating. There have been so many things in life that I have wanted to do but never had the confidence for various reasons. Low self esteem, poor self image, what ever it may be, it is only now at my age I am slowly beginning to realise that what people think isn't important. It's how I feel about myself that matters and, even as an heir to a country, I don't think it would make much difference to Frederik. Having Mary take the limelight from him would be a great relief and I am sure he loves and apreciates her very much for that, as I do my patient and understanding husband.

Yes, well said. Finding the right partner does make a difference : -)

 

[Duke of Marmalade]

On the other hand: Where would he be without her?
Well, Frederik managed to be voted "most popular Dane" 7 or 8 times I think (not sure) before Mary came along. I don't see a Philippe/Mathilde situation here. Also, I have the feeling that if ever there is going to be a divorce people would not be so wholeheartedly on Mary's side as they were originally in Alexandra's case (things have changed though). Frederik is far too popular in his own right.

Ricarda, you might be right. If it came down to a divorce at the end of the day he's the heir and she's his estranged wife, a foreigner to boot, and the people will be on his side. Alexandra's case was a bit different, only 2nd in line and Joachim's behaviour did not help to get people on his side. Fred is a much stronger character than his brother.

In my eyes Frederik appears media shy but not weak. Also, despite his unhappy and isolated childhood he managed to develop into a man who by all reports can interact very well with people (perhaps not with the media people though). I feel he has quite a strong will, courage (on the negative side: a tendency to egoism) and he doesn't care too much what others think of him. Imagine him standing up at a banquet whose purpose was to celebrate his parents and then critizising his parents, or sailing instead of attending the Swedish king's birthday. Whatever one may think of it it certainly needs a kind of strength.[/quote]

I agree. I think that due to his childhood he has developed an enourmous strength, first of all physically, maybe kind of a compensation for what he was missing and the only way to get his father's respect (running marathons, doing excusions, army etc). The other side is what you call a tendancy to egoism, still shows but I think it has become better with Mary. IMO she has helped him to show or live his emotions better than he was able to do before he met her.