"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[chelly]

Oh goodness. I've just read an excerpt in which Harry discusses using their staff to address the "constant stream of errors" and that they were only able to address 10% of what was out there. He goes on to state "Nerves were shattering, people were sniping. In such a climate there was no such thing as constructive criticism. All feedback was seen as an affront, an insult. More than once a staff member slumped across their desk and wept." He even goes on to refer to the staffers as "villians" and says that William placed them in their office. I don't know about the rest of you but this certainly doesn't sound like a supportive and kind workplace. In fact, it reads very much like an admission that there was a very toxic and bullying atmosphere around the office.

So is he admitting that they (meghan and harry ) both bullied their staff? Sounds like the staff couldn't aka didn't do what I and Meg wanted them to do so they are the villians

 

[Sun Lion]

The tailor has now spoken of the amount of work involved for him and his team in fixing the six bridesmaid’s dresses.

He said the amount of work involved was “huge”.

Four of them worked until 4.00am for three nights, and finished at 10.00pm on the eve of the wedding.

He is a Royalist and wanted the little girls to look good on the world stage “for Britain”.

The original French couture house isn’t coming out of this looking good, it sounds like it was a major part of everyone’s wedding stress.

 

[Moran]

I got that William and Harry's dad set work targets for everyone he held the purse strings for, so the brothers and their wives. They didn't have any control over how much they worked.

That wasn't what I meant. After all he said about mean William, it feels obnoxious to include him in a friendly manner, as an ally against their father and possibly Princess Anne.

 

[soapstar]

Harry admits that his staff was sometimes reduced to tears, but claims it’s because they couldn’t deal with “constructive criticism.”

The Duke of Sussex addressed the bullying allegations against Meghan in his book Spare, released on Tuesday, and acknowledged: "More than once a staff member slumped across their desk and wept."

Meghan was accused of bullying two PAs out of the royal household in an internal email sent by Jason Knauf, then Kensington Palace communications secretary.

The email, originally sent in October 2018, was leaked in the U.K. press days before the Oprah Winfrey interview, in March 2021, in a move the couple's spokesperson described at the time as a "smear."

Harry wrote: "She was also said to have driven our assistant to quit; in fact that assistant was asked to resign by Palace HR after we showed them evidence she'd traded on her position with Meg to get freebies. But because we couldn't speak publicly about the reasons for the assistant's departure, rumors filled the void."

Harry described "frequent bickering around the office" in which "sides were taken. Team Cambridge versus Team Sussex," in a section of the book that appeared to come before Jason's email, though dates were not given.

He wrote: "Rivalry, jealousy, competing agendas—it all poisoned the atmosphere.

"It didn't help that everyone was working around the clock. There were so many demands from the press, such a constant stream of errors that needed clearing up, and we didn't have nearly enough people or resources.

"At best, we were able to address 10 percent of what was out there. Nerves were shattering, people were sniping.

"In such a climate there was no such thing as constructive criticism. All feedback was seen as an affront, an insult.

"More than once a staff member slumped across their desk and wept. For all this, every bit of it, Willy blamed one person. Meg. He told me so several times and he got cross when I told him he was out of line. He was just repeating the press narrative, spouting fake stories he'd read or been told."

Source

Being reduced to tears at work is not not normal. It’s a sign of a very dysfunctional workplace and it’s a shame that Harry just dismisses it. I wonder if this opens the door for his former staff to come out and tell their stories?

 

[Alison H]

I must admit I'm getting numb. Too much (negative) information to process and next to no positive inputs.

I'll ask those who read the book and watched the interviews: Did Harry at any point say something positive?
Something like: I have a lovely wife and two wonderful children all of us in good health and we live in a nice place where we feel at home.

Yes. He told Tom Bradby that he was now very happy, with his wife and children.

He's got a very funny way of showing it. He's busy telling everyone what an unhappy childhood he had, that his father wasn't ready to be a parent, that his stepmother's a "villain", that everyone's been plotting against him and has got it in for him, that the press were going to kill him and his family, whinge whinge whinge whinge ad infinitum. But, yes, he did say that he was happy.

 

[Curbside]

Another observation: Harry sure does love his doobies.

 

[Curbside]

The tailor has now spoken of the amount of work involved for him and his team in fixing the six bridesmaid’s dresses.

He said the amount of work involved was “huge”.

Four of them worked until 4.00am for three nights, and finished at 10.00pm on the eve of the wedding.

He is a Royalist and wanted the little girls to look good on the world stage “for Britain”.

The original French couture house isn’t coming out of this looking good, it sounds like it was a major part of everyone’s wedding stress.

I'm shocked Givenchy would take measurements like that. It seems like they could have somehow done the measurements in person.

 

[Moran]

So let's sum it up" Meghan reduced to tears after a text exchange with Catherine: Harry remembers! Harry defends! Big deal! Meghan being all forgiving on Oprah, giving the impression that Catherine mortally wounded her. She's so great!

Staff reduced to tears: well, they simply couldn't take constructive criticism. Lovely.

BTW, the tailor who saved the day with the bridesmaids' dresses has come forward, saying that they worked for three days around the clock because none of the dresses fit.

Looks like Meghan couldn't take constructive criticism, flailed and collapsed in tears and at the end it turned out that Catherine, a lady with much more experience with children and their outfit, was right. Of course, Meghan ignored the fact that it wasn't Catherine's whim and Catherine had consulted a wedding designer, probably trying to deal with the problem without inconveniencing anyone.

 

[HRHHermione]

I have to stop reading for a few hours because of other obligations, but I couldn’t wrap without sharing this quote, which refers to how Harry felt when William got married.

“I found myself terrifyingly alone. And a eunuch to boot. What was the universe out to prove by taking my penis at the same moment it took my brother?”

(This refers to the frostbite story of course)

I have no idea how he managed to read this aloud for the audiobook version.

 

[Lilyflo]

Another observation: Harry sure does love his doobies.

He sure does! There's loads of weed in this book for years of his life. I thought he'd just experimented a bit as a teenager but it seems that smoking weed and excessive drinking was a lifestyle until recently (maybe still is?). I wonder who supplied him?

 

[Fem]

Oh goodness. I've just read an excerpt in which Harry discusses using their staff to address the "constant stream of errors" and that they were only able to address 10% of what was out there. He goes on to state "Nerves were shattering, people were sniping. In such a climate there was no such thing as constructive criticism. All feedback was seen as an affront, an insult. More than once a staff member slumped across their desk and wept." He even goes on to refer to the staffers as "villians" and says that William placed them in their office. I don't know about the rest of you but this certainly doesn't sound like a supportive and kind workplace. In fact, it reads very much like an admission that there was a very toxic and bullying atmosphere around the office.

Can we get a count of how many "misinformations"/negative stories that drove them out of the UK Harry, without being promped to, confirmed out of his own free will?

People not being able to accept constructive feedback? Slumping and crying across their desk? And he said that. In his own words. I can't believe the self sabotage that is happening here.

Not only did he confirm the bullying story was correct, he also confirmed that the Palace is protecting him and Meghan by not publishing the results of their investigation.

 

[Saragli]

Another observation: Harry sure does love his doobies.

By doobies, do you mean Marijuana? It sure does seem so. I personally am not shocked or bothered by his admission of drug use, it bothers me more that as a privileged white male he is able to use illicit substances without ever having to deal with repercussions so many of his countrymen face. However, I do worry that mixing marijuana with his mental health may not be the best thing for him. Marijuana is great for some, not so much for others. I am curious about his use of psychedelics, there is a lot of evidence and studies about the use of psychedelics and therapy to overcome mental health issues with great effect, but I imagine he used them in his own way.

 

[Curbside]

Harry admits that his staff was sometimes reduced to tears, but claims it’s because they couldn’t deal with “constructive criticism.”

Being reduced to tears at work is not not normal. It’s a sign of a very dysfunctional workplace and it’s a shame that Harry just dismisses it. I wonder if this opens the door for his former staff to come out and tell their stories?

I got that everyone was so strung out from the pressures that it was impossible to give or receive criticism without getting under people's skin.

 

[Muhler]

Harry admits that his staff was sometimes reduced to tears, but claims it’s because they couldn’t deal with “constructive criticism.”



Being reduced to tears at work is not not normal. It’s a sign of a very dysfunctional workplace and it’s a shame that Harry just dismisses it. I wonder if this opens the door for his former staff to come out and tell their stories?

Constructive criticism and feedback = yelling.

If Harry publicly goes on the offensive against his staff at the time - and they can easily be ID'ed from his descriptions of events, then I suppose they have the right to give their version. Confidentiality goes both ways.

After all you can't publicly criticize your former employees and then say: Hey! You can't respond and give your version, you signed a non-disclosure.

He's attacking their professionalism, attitude and honor. Harry fired the first shot here.

Yes. He told Tom Bradby that he was now very happy, with his wife and children.

He's got a very funny way of showing it. He's busy telling everyone what an unhappy childhood he had, that his father wasn't ready to be a parent, that his stepmother's a "villain", that everyone's been plotting against him and has got it in for him, that the press were going to kill him and his family, whinge whinge whinge whinge ad infinitum. But, yes, he did say that he was happy.

Well, well, that at least is something. Now I'll be able to go to bed with a smile tonight.

 

[Curbside]

By doobies, do you mean Marijuana? It sure does seem so. I personally am not shocked or bothered by his admission of drug use, it bothers me more that as a privileged white male he is able to use illicit substances without ever having to deal with repercussions so many of his countrymen face. However, I do worry that mixing marijuana with his mental health may not be the best thing for him. Marijuana is great for some, not so much for others. I am curious about his use of psychedelics, there is a lot of evidence and studies about the use of psychedelics and therapy to overcome mental health issues with great effect, but I imagine he used them in his own way.

I just hope he has access to good sh$t, the kind that doesn't make you freak out or think spies are after you. I think California has quite a few legal dispensaries.

 

[Lilyflo]

I am curious about his use of psychedelics, there is a lot of evidence and studies about the use of psychedelics and therapy to overcome mental health issues with great effect, but I imagine he used them in his own way.

In the accounts I've read so far of him using magic mushrooms, they were recreational sessions rather than medicinal under professional supervision.

 

[Saragli]

I just hope he has access to good sh$t, the kind that doesn't make you freak out or think spies are after you. I think California has quite a few legal dispensaries.

Unfortunately, Harry does seem to think that every one is after him and no one is one his side. I can't imagine Marijuana is helping him with that. However, living in California, I'm sure he is able to find whatever strain would suit him best as his local dispensary.

 

[Moran]

I got that everyone was so strung out from the pressures that it was impossible to give or receive criticism without getting under people's skin.

And some of them aired it all on Oprah, giving it an untruthful but highly desirable slant.

 

[TLLK]

So is he admitting that they (meghan and harry ) both bullied their staff? Sounds like the staff couldn't aka didn't do what I and Meg wanted them to do so they are the villians

Sounds like this is an admission that they had created a hostile working environment.

Sad to recall that the Sussexes staff were initially so excited and eager to be working with the couple. It's a shame to read how they were being treated from Harry's own words. His description is not one of a productive and content team. No wonder that there were so many resignations.

 

[_Heather_]

Well it appears that the tailor, Ajay, has spoken out. He notes that he and his team worked three all-nighters to fix the dresses, that all six were ill-fitting, and that he and his team did so in order to make Britain look good on the world stage that day. He also says that there was a huge amount of work necessary to fix the dresses and even says that he has no idea what measurements Givenchy was working with but that it was clear that all six dresses needed a massive amount of work.

I'm shocked Givenchy would take measurements like that. It seems like they could have somehow done the measurements in person.

Apparently he was, too. See the bolded part of my post from above. Givenchy definitely does not come out of this looking good. And frankly, given all the fuss that was made at the time of the wedding about using a French design house rather than an English designer, it looks even worse. You'd think that after all of that they would have been especially keen to be sure that their creations were absolute perfection.

 

[_Heather_]

Another observation: Harry sure does love his doobies.

He does. And I fully and completely admit that I have no idea how that sort of admitted drug use can cause issues with visas but from everything I'm reading from immigration lawyers it's now very, very likely that there will be some sort of issues with the visa. Apparently had he been upfront and honest about his drug usage it could have or maybe would have endangered his visa chances and now that he's admitted it all publicly and continued to admit that he was using drugs once settled in California there's a chance that his visa could still be impacted.

 

[Muhler]

I have to stop reading for a few hours because of other obligations, but I couldn’t wrap without sharing this quote, which refers to how Harry felt when William got married.

“I found myself terrifyingly alone. And a eunuch to boot. What was the universe out to prove by taking my penis at the same moment it took my brother?”

(This refers to the frostbite story of course)

I have no idea how he managed to read this aloud for the audiobook version.

His penis again-again?!?

He sure seems preoccupied with his little dangler.

I suppose it's very normal for siblings who are very close to feel a little lonely and even abandoned by the sibling who is getting married - among the many other emotions on such an occasion.
I suspect young Harry very much leaned on his older brother. And now Kate came to take him away.
It is also very normal for men to be concerned about the condition of their most handy best friend, especially young men. But putting it in a book when you are fully adult!?! - The concerns, I mean...

 

[Nico]

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-...arry-spare-autobiography-memoir-b2259565.html

The Duke of Sussex’s autobiography is the fastest-selling non-fiction book ever, recording figures of 400,000 copies so far across hardback, ebook and audio formats on its first day of publication, its publishers have said.

Prince Harry’s memoir Spare accidentally went on sale in Spain five days prior to its official release, while pages of the tell-all book were leaked to various media outlets.

The ghost-written autobiography was released officially on Tuesday and has reportedly flown off bookstore shelves.

So it's a best seller, woohoo ! Quantity means popularity, and of course quality, right ? Of course it does ! What else ? Because it's sooo inspiring to see someone trashing his family, the living and the dead, adults and children. Harry is right now the most popular person on the planet ! Go figure !

The sheer joy of knowing stories (well maybe "half-true" stories but who cares) about frozen winnies, deflowering in some random fields, ill fitted dresses, not so racist after all racism, one Christmassy Biro etc will not doubt rejoice MILLIONS . I bet they are dancing, again, in streets in South Africa.

I salute you, my dear Sussexes fans, on this day of rapture, you lucky bunch. Your leader showed to the planet the true human being he is , and with exquisite literary tastes with that.

Can't wait for the sequel (maybe called "Spare parts II, the Montecito files"or whatever).

 

[FigTree]

The tailor has now spoken of the amount of work involved for him and his team in fixing the six bridesmaid’s dresses.

He said the amount of work involved was “huge”.

Four of them worked until 4.00am for three nights, and finished at 10.00pm on the eve of the wedding.

He is a Royalist and wanted the little girls to look good on the world stage “for Britain”.

The original French couture house isn’t coming out of this looking good, it sounds like it was a major part of everyone’s wedding stress.

There have been rumblings, which I always ignored about the fact that the lady, who was the lead designer of Givenchy at the time, and Meghan were both difficult about the dresses. That there was a lot indecision and they drove the Givenchy seamstresses to distraction. That a Meghan’s dress itself wasn’t fitted right because they went too close to the wire.

Can you imagine what those dresses looked like when Kate first had them then.

 

[Fürstin Taxis]

I usually will stay away saying I don't like someone I don't know personally, but boy I will do an exception here Feeling bad especially for William and also Diana, because reasons..

 

[Somebody]

Oh goodness. I've just read an excerpt in which Harry discusses using their staff to address the "constant stream of errors" and that they were only able to address 10% of what was out there. He goes on to state "Nerves were shattering, people were sniping. In such a climate there was no such thing as constructive criticism. All feedback was seen as an affront, an insult. More than once a staff member slumped across their desk and wept." He even goes on to refer to the staffers as "villians" and says that William placed them in their office. I don't know about the rest of you but this certainly doesn't sound like a supportive and kind workplace. In fact, it reads very much like an admission that there was a very toxic and bullying atmosphere around the office.

So, did Harry and Meghan think that the main task of their office was to correct press stories?

 

[Erin9]

Can we get a count of how many "misinformations"/negative stories that drove them out of the UK Harry, without being promped to, confirmed out of his own free will?

People not being able to accept constructive feedback? Slumping and crying across their desk? And he said that. In his own words. I can't believe the self sabotage that is happening here.

Not only did he confirm the bullying story was correct, he also confirmed that the Palace is protecting him and Meghan by not publishing the results of their investigation.

Their investigation wasn’t about the veracity of the bullying claims iirc. It was about how to address a problem like Meghan going forward.

 

[Saragli]

There have been rumblings, which I always ignored about the fact that the lady, who was the lead designer of Givenchy at the time, and Meghan were both difficult about the dresses. That there was a lot indecision and they drove the Givenchy seamstresses to distraction. That a Meghan’s dress itself wasn’t fitted right because they went too close to the wire.

Can you imagine what those dresses looked like when Kate first had them then.

I'd be curious to see if Givenchy wades into this with some sort of statement. The way its being presented to the public is that this well known and respected haute couture designer was unable to create wearable bridesmaid dresses.

 

[Curbside]

And some of them aired it all on Oprah, giving it an untruthful but highly desirable slant.

I'd like to see one or more of the staff to go on the record, and hopefully put this all to rest.

 

[Lilyflo]

Just a small thing but that bit about Camilla turning his bedroom at Clarence House into her dressing room after he moved out and that he tried not to care but when he saw it he did. I've just read that he was 28 at the time... 28!

He told Meghan to curtsey to Charles the first time she met him but not to curtsey to Camilla as "I didn't think it appropriate". What's all that about?