We might think it is an age issue, but who knows really? Now , I was surprise to find out that one of my ancestors in the mid 1700s when they married in Denmark, she was 35 and he was 21. I t was a shock to me to think in the 1700s something like this would occur, but it did! and they stayed married together until their death and have several kids! Some times I think it was an arrange marriage! Was she hot at 35? or was her a rich lady? We soon shall find out if he remarried and have kids what was the issue with Martin and Alexandra
Marriage between "older" women and young men was
very common in the countryside in DK a few hundred years ago.
The reason was very practical.
A family owned a farm, if the wife died, the husband simply took a new wife. Often a younger woman but far from always, experience matters. They would probably have a couple of children and things moved on until the husband eventually died and the oldest son took over. He would then marry himself and take care of the widow, whether that was his mother or stepmother. And also younger siblings.
A man who had a farm should have a wife, that was proper, that was practical and that was the right thing to do. Because the wife was responsible for running the household and the
economy. She was the one who had the keys to the house (and wore them as a symbol of her status) and she was the one who had the key to the chest with the money. The reasoning being that men had more opportunities to slip away and drink and gamble the fortune away. - That women could and did drink too was conveniently overlooked...
But what happened if the husband died first? Especially if there were smaller children. Well, a suitable young, strong man. Usually a younger son of another farmer, simply married the widow. That meant that she and her children could stay and were provided for. It also meant that she retained her status.
For the husband that was a big opportunity! Now he had his own farm, instead of having to work at his older brother's farm or at home at his dad's farm or become a farm laborer or worse: being drafted to the army...
And on top of that he married an experienced housekeeper. Who probably had a few children who were useful around the farm.
For a young woman marrying an older man who had a farm, that was a big step up the social ladder. She became mistress of a working household. She didn't have to stay at home working at her dad or brother's farm. Or more likely seek employment at another farm or at the local noble's manor. Or not unlikely ending up pregnant and having to marry someone of lower status.
It was far from that common that young men and women say around twenty married. And for love? Well, that was a luxury the poor and youngest siblings could afford. Those who stood to inheriting a farm or had a chance of taking over a farm they had to marry whom it was practical.
Because there were only an X number of farms available due to the agricultural technique at the time and to ensure that land belonging to the individual farms didn't become too small.
Okay, should you happen to marry someone who is old and ugly, well, with a bit of luck he/she would die within a few years. - And make no mistake, quite a few older unloved husbands/wives, especially if they became bedridden, would quietly have been suffocated by a pillow. There are a number of sources hinting at that.
Indeed. The mentioning of age bothers me especially because I'm fairly certain that it wouldn't have been cited an issue had it been the other way around with an older man divorcing a younger woman.
However unreliable or not I see that most have targeted as responsible for the divorce Martin.
